The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM 5) recognizes the addictive nature of Downton Abbey. They warn fans to watch for the following signs of Downton Abbey Addiction (DAA):
10. You or those you love no longer call their spouses by their first name. Instead, in a thick English accent, they use their surname. As in “Mr. Philo, could you pick up bread at the grocery store on the way home?” To which your loved one replies in kind. As in “Certainly, Mrs. Philo, I’d be delighted.”
9. You or someone you love plans to wear a beaded flapper dress or black tails and white tie on a Valentine’s Day date.
8. Your children or the children of someone you love get this Sesame Street skit the first time they see it.
7. The first response you or someone you love as to the Harry Potter movies is, “Oh look, Professor McGonagall is played by the Dowager Countess of Grantham.
6. You or someone you love wishes your local news channel would carry more stories like this one which aired on KCCI in Des Moines, Iowa. You or someone you else also TiVoed the clip and show it when company comes to your house.
5. On Sunday evenings, you or someone you loves sets an alarm clock for 20 minutes earlier than Downton Abbey’s start time, so you can pop popcorn beforehand.
4. You or someone you know snorts liquid out your nose every you see the Downton Arby’s spoof.[youtube]http://youtu.be/NMykqW9ibiY[/youtube]
3. You or someone you love is circulating a petition to demand the Olympic Games be suspended when Downton Abbey is on television.
2. Ditto for the Super Bowl and the Grammys.
1. The list of potential baby names for your next child or grandchild consists of these names: Mary, Edith, Sibyl, Violet, Cora, Ivy, Anna, Daisy, Rose, Bates, Grantham, John, Matthew, Tom, Robert, Carson, and Alfred.
The DSM 5 recommends that if you or someone you love is displaying three or more of the above behaviors, they should begin attending Downton Abbey Addiction Anonymous (DAAA) immediately. Groups meet 24/7 except for Sunday evenings when the show airs.
What DAA symptoms are you or someone you love exhibiting. Begin your comment with, “Hi, my name is ______________________ and I’m a Downton Abbey Addict.
