10. I prefer to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy on Christmas instead of It’s a Wonderful Life. So does the man of steel, by the way.
9. The Christmas music has not made it’s 2013 debut in our home…and probably won’t.
8. No Christmas baking yet around here.
7. With the man of steel watching his sugar and no dairy for the woman of aluminum, the eating of Christmas goodies lacks the Christmas spirit around here. It’s akin to two toddlers engaged in parallel play: we’ll be in the same room eating, but refusing to share.
6. The Christmas letter muse has yet to bless me with an idea for this year’s missal.
5. Christmas stamps have not yet been purchased. Which, if past practice is any indication, means the faith-related stamps are gone, and generic snowflakes or goofy reindeer will grace our envelopes. Again.
4. If the Christmas letter muse drops an idea on my head, and if the post office still has either generic snowflake or goofy reindeer stamps, and if the letters get stuffed into envelopes at least by Martin Luther King Day Valentine’s Day Easter the Fourth of July, the return address labels will all be crooked. Because I am return label sticking impaired.
3. The Christmas tree looks mighty lonely with not one present under it yet.
2. If by some miracle the tape gets found and the presents are wrapped by Martin Luther King Day Valentine’s Day Easter the Fourth of July, the Christmas tree will still be a sory sight. Because in addition to being return label sticking impaired, my present-wrapping skills are minimal. So the presents will look like they were wrapped by a two-year-old.
1. My grandmotherly present-buying duties are in arrears as I have not purchased a single noise-making, highly aggravating, sanity-straining, obnoxious gift for our grandson to enjoy while his parents shake their fists at heaven and curse my existence…which is, of course, why God invented grandmas.
Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net
