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S’wayzee

S’wayzee

Thanks to the four RAGBRAI riders who stayed at our house Tuesday night and sang Happy Birthday to me (per Hiram’s request) on Wednesday morning, my 55th birthday was the hippest jiviest, and g’day-mate-iest ever.

(I know several of you didn’t comprehend a word past “55th” because you’re thinking, “She must be yanking my chain. No way can this woman be 55. She looks so young.” Your astonishment is a welcome surprise, but really, I am 55. And really, you need to track with the RAGBRAI riders story, rather than obsessing about my amazingly youthfulness, so you can become the hippest, jiviest, and g’day-mate-iest person on your block.)

The lesson in hip-ocity began when the last two riders arrived at about  8 in the evening. Now, they were later than the first two women riders not because they were stragglers, but because they rode the 70 miles from Carroll to our fair city, plus the 30 mile loop-of-torture designed for extreme athletes who wanted to add a 100 mile notch to their bicycling belts.

Andrea came to the kitchen first and was assembling her BLT before Matt did. Being both the token male and also the token Australian in the group, maybe he found it helpful to watch the proceedings before eating. Or maybe he was just checking out the cultural landscape. Whatever the reason, he hung back a bit until I said, “This is a self-serve operation. Come on over and get something to eat.”

He picked up a plate and said, “S’wayzee!” (pronounced “swaye-zee” with emphasis on the “swaye”) with the hippest, jiviest, and g’day-mate-iest inflection ever.

Hiram and I looked at the other three riders and parroted Matt. “S’wayzee?”

“Australian for ‘so easy,’” one of them explained.

Another laughed. “We say it all the time now, too.”

“Cool.” Hiram grinned. “S’wayzee!”

We practiced the word several times before going to bed,

S’wayzee,
S’wayzee,
S’wayzee,
working on our own hip, jive, and g’day mate inflection, while hoping our 55-year-old Swiss cheese brains would remember the word in the morning.

Our hard work paid off, and we woke up on my birthday morning with “S’wayzee” tripping off our tongues. We sounded almost as hip, jive, and g’day mate as Matt. But after we waved good-bye to our overnight guests, we almost forgot the word during our morning walk.
Between the two of us we eventually remembered. Then we swaggered home as quickly as we could while maintaining our aura of hip-ocity and jivieness. I hurried to the computer and wrote this blog, preserving our new word for posterity and officially preserving my 55th birthday as the hippest, jiviest and g’day-mate-iest ever.

Being 55 is turning out to be s’wayzee…as long as I write everything down.

Old Farm Guys on Tractors

Old Farm Guys on Tractors

Most Sundays, reading the opinion pages of the paper is the quickest, dirtiest way to rain on my personal feel-good parade. Public debates have never interested me. Heated, public debates make me want to curl up in a corner and disappear. Political debates seem to be an exercise in futility, and considered by many as permission to engage in name-calling. And from what I’ve observed, name-calling never accomplished anything positive.

So why bother reading the opinion page at all?

Here are a couple reasons. First, to get a sense of prevailing thoughts on hot issues. Second, to become a more informed voter. Third,  because our shrinking state daily rag sometimes includes book and art reviews, which I enjoy, in the opinion section. And fourth, because once in a while, the Iowa View column, written by guest writers, has something good.

Sunday, November 7 was one of those days. What first caught my eye was the photograph accompanying the column. A sucker for pictures of old farm guys in tractors,  I started reading the article by Jennifer Dukes Lee, a former Des Moines Register staff writer and young farm wife.

A summary of the article can’t do justice to its themes of love for the land, grief and sorrow, hope and harvest. No more than a description of the photographs will bring the colors and expressions to life. Instead, go to this link and read the article for yourself. It will put you in the Thanksgiving mode. If you like the article, more of Jennifer’s writing can be found at her blog,http://gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com/. Her writing is thoughtful and illustrated with vibrant, and sometimes quirky photographs.

Editors include stories like Jennifer’s draw a certain group of readers – a large, quiet group who don’t like controversy and would never write a letter to the editor – to the Sunday opinion page. Those editors know what they’re doing.

Their ploy worked on me, a sucker for stories about old farm guys on tractors. Does it work on you?

Grammar Geeks, Unite!

Grammar Geeks, Unite!

Can it be? Can it possibly be? In a world replete with tweets and texts and sound bites, is proper grammar making a comeback?

A small flurry of coverage in the media has this grammar geek throwing caution to the wind. Giddy with excitement, I teeter on a dangerous cliff of improper usage: punctuating my inward thoughts with mental exclamation points and dangling my prepositions for the world to see. Naughty, naughty!

The media circus began with the Save the Serial Comma from Extinction Debate. You can read the case for extinction here and compare it to the case against extinction here.

Not a black and white matter at all, is it? No wonder passionate proponents of proper grammar – editors, writers, and teachers – are using the media to raise public awareness and champion their cause. Next thing we know, California’s English majors will propose drafting a proposition and bringing it to a vote.

But even if the Serial Comma Debate cools, grammar will still be the spotlight, at least in the grammatically conscious midwest. The Des Moines Register, Iowa’s biggest newspaper, used a substantial amount of ink on Sunday. An article touted the services of Dr. Grammar, aka Linda Adkins, a mild-mannered University of Northern Iowa (UNI) writing instructor. (If “UNI” rings a bell, their Panther basketball team took down Kansas during March Madness, 2010. Not that I’m bragging or anything.)

In real life, Adkins teaches college writing and research at UNI. But in the virtual world, Dr. Grammar, diagnoses and treats grammar gaffes at the Dr. Grammar website, www.drgrammar.org. If your niggling grammar issue keeps you awake at night, you can click the “ask a question” link on the home page and submit your query to Dr. Grammar.

Now that concept is a media attention grabber guaranteed to trip the trigger of every red-blooded language lover in the US of A. This could become a clarion call, a rallying cry, the dawn of a new era of well-spoken life in our land.

Grammar geeks, unite! The time for well-spoken speech has arrived.