A couple weekends ago, we visited our grown up son and his grown up wife at their grown up house in Wisconsin. They showed us the sights in the area, including a visit to his new workplace.
More than once during the weekend he said, “I have a grown up job,” with wonder in his voice and a shake of his head. “I’m a grown up.”
Allen’s sense of wonder pervaded the entire visit as he and our new daughter showed us around his office, drove us through the grounds of a nearby historical site, showed us the sites in the closest city.
The wonder invaded my soul and Hiram’s too, as we sat in the kitchen and watched this lovely, grown up couple prepare meals for us.
Omelets for breakfast the first morning,
Roast chicken and scrumptious new potatoes ala Julia Child for supper,
crepes for brunch before departure the next day.
I watched them cook and saw
our baby boy on the kitchen floor banging on pots and pans with a wooden spoon,
our preschooler sitting on the counter to peer at what was in the mixing bowl,
our kindergartener standing on a char, “helping” crack eggs (and eggshells) into a bowl,
our 7-year-old learning to make Kraft Macaroni and Cheese all by himself,
our middle schooler baking cookies,
our high schooler sliding frozen pizza into the oven,
our monk baking bread in the monastery kitchen,
our farm hand showing me how to stir fry kale,
our son and new daughter cooking for us three lovely meals.
The wonder hovered round us all that weekend. It was in the car as we drove away. It’s been in my smile and Hiram’s each day since we’ve been home. It wells up inside me and flows down my cheeks as I write. It lulls me to sleep each evening and greets me when the alarm clock rings each morning.
Our son is grown up.
He’s married to a grown up wife.
He lives in a grown up house.
He has a grown up job.
He cooks grown up meals.
In wonder, we bow and give thanks for what God has done.
Jolene, I have just accessed your blog for the first time since last winter when you so lovingly wrote about my mother. Your “grown up” post touches my heart with wonder and thanks to God as well. I have felt that same welling up many times since our elder son has thrived in his first months at college. Throughout high school he had been entirely anti-social, distant, judgmental, and compliant, yet angry. In retrospect, we think that perhaps having his father as a teacher all four high school years in multiple classes and activities could have contributed to his total discomfort. God miraculously sent him to the perfect college for him to thrive, smile, make many wonderful friends whom he values, break down interpersonal walls, be challenged yet confident, and even exercise compassion for a struggling roommate. Many times in these past six months I have reminded myself what a waste of emotion it was for me to be anxious for his future as I wondered if he had some sort of personality disorder that would define his adulthood. When Paul instructed, “Be anxious for nothing…” he was so right! Blessings to you and ALL the grown up Philos! P.S. I also watch “Parenthood” and appreciate the insights your research offered.
Hi Kari – my best oboe friend in the entire world,
How wonderful that your son is doing so well this year. What an answer to your prayers. Wouldn’t we all have enjoyed raising our kids more had we realized God does hear our prayers, but answers them in his best time instead of ours.
Someday, we are going to stop to see you when we drive through Illinois. We have so much catching up to do. Don’t worry, I won’t bring an oboe.
Jolene
YES! Come and see us! We have the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library/Museum too, which is fabulous! My parents are buried at the Roland Cemetery and that is my best hope of getting to your neighborhood someday. I’ll work on it. I also won’t be traveling with my oboe. I have actually never owned an oboe and not played a note since 1975!
The world has been a better place since we set down our oboes, don’t you think? And let us know when you come this direction to visit your parents’ graves. We have extra beds and would love to have you stay with us.