My perky little nose is a tad out of joint today for a number of reasons. I’m gonna unpack right now, so get ready for a bucketload.
Reason #1: On Wednesday I went to Iowa Public Employment Retirement Services (IPERS) and completed the paperwork to start drawing my pension. Which means I turn 55 on my birthday this July. (This is when you say, “No way you can be turning 55, Jolene. You’re one hot mama,” or something to that effect.)
Reason #2: Later on Wednesday, I was interviewed by a young woman who ask me to guest blog at Bignity Ventures, a special needs site which will go live in a couple weeks. Jamie Openden’s the creative force behind the venture, a speech therapist with a vision for helping kids with special needs. She’s also young. In fact, she’s the same age as my son. They were born the same month. Try that on for size, why don’t ya?
Reason #3: On Thursday I moved at lightning speed to get to my 8:40 AM eye appointment on time. Turned out, I was more than on time. I was early. 24 hours early. My appointment was for Friday.
Your bucketful of reasons for this perky little nose to be out of joint looks pretty full, so I won’t bother to mention the eye doctor found calcium deposits below my eye (caused by my old lady calcium supplements), the need to change my vision prescription, or closing out the college savings account we opened for our youngest child when she was born. (Yeah, that daughter – the one who graduated from college last month.)
I won’t mention those things, because doing so might sound whiny, and whiny, almost fifty-five-year-old women are so unattractive. Plus, my nose is plenty out of joint and doesn’t need an image problem added to the mix. So forget I even mentioned the calcium deposits, the changed vision prescription, and the closed out savings account, okay?
Just repeat this sentence – “No way you can be turning 55, Jolene. You’re one hot mama!” – about a bazillion times. Then leave a comment on my blog to that effect, post it as your FB status, tweet it, whatever.
My perky little nose is feeling better already.
