On Saturday, the daughter dashed any hopes Hiram and I entertained about becoming super models. What’s worse she did it in front of thirty or forty people who attended the wedding shower our church held for both our children and their sweethearts.
Her motives were pure, even noble, as she answered this query written by one of the shower goers (as instructed by the shower planners) for the Q & A portion of the party: What have you learned by observing your parents’ marriage?
Anne had time to think about her answer, because Allen answered first. He said something about learning how spouses balance one another out, citing Hiram’s spare use of words compared to the bucket loads I fling with abandon. I don’t remember exactly what he said as I was talking to someone at the time.
Next, Anne’s sweetie answered, describing how he had learned the importance of sacrifice from his mother.
Finally, the daughter opened her mouth. “I learned that love changes how you look at people.” She explained further. “Most of you know my parents and that they’re nice-looking but they’re never going to be super models. Still, sometimes they look at each other with googly eyes, like the other one is the best-looking person on earth.”
If anyone other than the daughter had said we weren’t super models, I wouldn’t have believed what I heard. But over the years the daughter has proven to be the most perceptive and honest person in my life. So what she says must be true. And if the man of steel and I are not super model material, we must rethink the future.
Throw out my dream of usurping Sally Fields as the queen of Boniva.
Nix Hiram’s five year plan for becoming the new Rogain spokesman.
Stop honing our electric-motor-cart-driving-while-looking-youthful skills.
Chuck the fake smiles while eating All Bran in hopes of becoming geriatric cereal models.
We’ll have to rely on something other than our non-existent good looks if we want to be useful during our twilight years. I’m thinking about building a googly eye factory in the back yard, since we’re pretty good at making them even if raw materials are in short supply. When it’s time to mount an advertising campaign we’ll hire the kids and their sweethearts as super models. From what I observed this past weekend, they’re pretty good at making googly eyes, too.
