The signs of the advancing age of the people who live at our house are multiplying at an alarming rate.
Some signs, though not necessarily welcomed, are expected.
AARP mailings, which my husband and I refuse to open.
New wrinkles, which we both try to ignore.
Aches and pains, which we try to exercise away.
But some signs are a bit of a surprise, like the one that nailed me Sunday night at our church’s Valentine Formal. When we arrived at the church’s main entrance, we felt young and perky, all clean and gussied up for an evening in a beautifully decorated room, with a delicious meal, and enjoyable company.
The valets (recruited from youth group) took our car, and three young women (same recruiting pool) waited just inside the door to take our coats. The three coat takers outnumbered our two coats, so the youngest of that number stayed put. Her big blue eyes shone as she confided, “I’m kinda lazy.”
The school teacher in me had to include her in the festivities, so I said, “Well, you can do a slip check.”*I twirled around and said, “Is it showing?”
Big Blue Eyes shrugged, giggled, and said, “I don’t know what a slip is.”
Bam!
The generation gap hit me like a two by four.
I felt old and older by the minute.
Beneath my feet, I sensed the world moving on without me!
I should have expected it. At Anne’s wedding this summer, only a couple of the bridesmaids heeded my advice and brought slips to wear under their street length, thin silk dresses. The others made a frantic Walmart run and returned with this news. The store doesn’t sell slips. Being resourceful young women, they purchased thin nightgowns and slipped them on under their electric blue dresses.
In light of the cultural slippage occurring in the younger generation, here’s a bridging-the-gap, five point tutorial for their convenience:
- See that word slipped in the above sentence? That’s how slips got their name. They’re made of slippery fabric so you slip them under dresses or skirts to smooth away unsightly wrinkles.
- They also keep light from shining through thin fabric, thus exposing your legs. Without slips, young women look lumpy, and young men realize women have legs.
- Slips are for your protection, ladies!
- See the picture at the top of this post. That’s a full slip.
- If you don’t like the extra set of shoulder straps, half-slips (which look like a skirt with an elastic waist band) are also acceptable.
Is this how my mother felt when she lobbied staunchly for girdles and hose while my sister and I sang the praises of pantyhose?
Boy, do I feel old today.
*Note: I was wearing a half slip too long for my dress. Using the technique my sister taught me in the 1970s, I had tucked the slip into the top of my pantyhose. It works until repeated sitting and standing works the slip loose.
