Ever since discovering my 2012 DayRunner Day-at-a-Glance refill pack was defective I’ve been paranoid about the ides of January. The paranoia didn’t set in when I first discovered the pages for January 6 through 22 were missing, but duplicates for the 23rd through the 31st had been included. My only thought was to call customer service and ask for a replacement.
Which I did.
But when the replacement arrived on Christmas Eve, it was the wrong thing. But that didn’t make me paranoid. My only thought was to call customer service on the day after Christmas, explain the error, and ask for a replacement part.
Which I did.
But after explaining about the original defective pages, and the original call to customer service, and the wrong replacement part to the service rep named David, he said, “Um, I’ll need to put you on hold and talk to my manager. Be back in a sec.” Five minutes later, he hadn’t returned. Feeling slightly paranoid, I decided to hang up and call again.
Which I did.
This time, a very together woman named Lisa answered the phone and listened to the story about the defective pages, the original call to customer service, the wrong replacement part, and my stint in telephone purgatory. Immediately, she apologized and said, “Unfortunately, you’ve called the wrong department. Customer service doesn’t handle defective products. Customer affairs does. Unfortunately that department, which is located in Ohio, not in New York where I am (or was it the other way around?) isn’t in the office today. I’ll give you their number, so you can call them tomorrow.”
Which I did today.
Which was tomorrow yesterday.
The day I started feeling paranoid.
After introducing myself to the nice lady at consumer affairs (I can’t remember her name) and explaining the growing saga, she typed my name into her computer. “Your name isn’t in our records,” she said. Which made me feel even more paranoid. “You need to talk to customer service. I’ll transfer you to.”
Which she did.
By this time, I wondered if something so terrible was in the works for the ides of January. Maybe the DayRunner people were purposefully skipping January 6 – 22, 2019. Still, I kept the voice quaver to a minumum when introducing myself to the nice lady at consumer services and reiterating the tale with the addition of today’s chapter. At the end, a familiar voice immediately said “I’m so sorry.” It was Lisa. She still couldn’t solve my problem, but she coached me in the finer points of handling the consumer affairs folks in Ohio (or New York), and then said, “Now I’ll transfer you back to them.”
Which she did.
I was still paranoid about the ides of January, but when a familiar voice said, “Customer affairs, this is _____________________ (still can’t remember her name),” I followed Lisa’s instructions while talking to the woman in either Ohio or New York. She remembered me from my earlier call this morning. “So, they couldn’t help you in customer service?” she asked. “What’s the item number for what needs to be replace? I’ll get it right out to you.”
Which hopefully she did.
But until the new replacement for my 2012 DayRunner Day-at-a-Glance refill pack arrives, I’m planning to remain paranoid about the ides of January, customer service, customer affairs, telephone purgatory, and calendars in general.
Which I am.
