Last weekend a friend sent an email about the Washington Post’s Annual Mensa Invitational. According to the email, this year’s invitational consisted of two parts. In the first, “The Post invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. For those of you who, like me, can’t follow all that in your head, here’s one entry.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
The email described the second part of the invitational which asks readers to supply alternate meanings for common words. Such as:
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
By the time I finished reading the 17 entries in the first category and the 16 entries in the second, my sides ached with laughter. This response confirmed a long held, secret suspicion that if I could be queen of anything, I would choose queen of word play. The email made me so happy, I also decided to blog about it.
That’s when an internet search disclosed a disturbing truth.
The Washington Post’s Annual Mensa Invitational doesn’t exist. Once upon a time, someone ran a contest and an almost identical list has been circulated year after year…since 1998. The news kinda broke my queen of word play heart.
Until I stumbled upon the WPM Invitational website.
WPM took the idea, though they clearly state they are not associated with the Washington Post, and now oversee their own annual contest. Their rules are identical to the first half of the original contest. At the site, you can see:
You can also:
My fave in the 2010 contest was…Ussues Issues shared or inherited by virtue of being in a committed relationship which was submitted by Michale Bertani.
Now if you will excuse me, it’s time to wrap up this blog and get to work on my entries for the 2012 contest. If you’d like to vote for them, just look for the ones by Queen of Word Play and vote for royalty.
This queen will be quite amused.
Dear Ms. Queen:
I wish your research had included checking with The Washington Post.
True, there isn’t any “Mensa Invitational.” But The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever weekly — not annual, weekly — humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, “decafalon” isn’t a one-letter change from “decathlon,” is it? Or “caterpallor”?)
Much better to see the the current Invitational — every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We’ve had more than 600 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Sunday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and every Friday online. The contests encompass a wide variety of humor genres, from cartoon captions to song parodies, but there are neologism contests regularly as well.
In fact, a recent set of results were for a contest to make a new word that included the letter block N-O-E-L — in any order, but all together — and then define the new word. Here are some of the winners:
Groucholenses: How to look at the world through nose-covered glasses. (Eric Fritz, Silver Spring, Md.)
iPhonelecher: A tweet-stalking guy. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
None-liners: Sight gags. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Leno jay: A nocturnal bird that lays an egg every night at 11:35. (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)
See the rest of the winners and learn how to enter the current contest at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can join the group “Style Invitational Devotees” on Facebook or contact me at myerspat [at] gmail [dot] com and you’ll get a link to the Invitational when it’s posted. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.
Best, Pat Myers
The Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post
myersp@washpost.com
Dear Empress of Style,
Thank you for clarifying the misinformation about the Washington Post weekly Style Invitational. That’s 52 times better than an annual contest. The examples you listed make me smile. Can I be as witty as that? Probably not, but I’ll be contacting you about receiving the invitational link.
The Wannabe Queen of Word Play,
Jolene
Dear Your Highness —
Thank you for noting the existence of our fun little website. We set it up on a whim and it’s purely a hobby but we get some nice feedback from people who find humor in the words. My favorite for 2011 unfortunately did not meet the “rules”: nagivate. My boyfriend especially appreciated this entry š
Do take the opportunity to vote for the best of 2011 soon (vote a lot!). In what I believe is an amazing statistical coincidence, we currently have a three way tie for first and I’m waiting for some votes to come in to break the tie. Statistically I think it is almost impossible since there are so many words and so many votes that the likelihood for a THREE-way tie must be astronomical… but figuring it out would require more recollection of my b-school statistics courses than I care to undertake.
We look forward to your entries!
Elaine,
Thank you for your email. I will complete my royal duty by exercising my right to vote. Not something queens do often, but it is tidier than yelling “Off with their heads.”
Jolene