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Iowa:Texas

What’s the difference between Iowa and Texas? Here are my top ten answers based on a few days in Corpus Christi last week.

10. Bilingual signs are no big deal in Texas. In Iowa, some people view them with suspicion.

9.  Corpus Christi, population 307,953, is considered a small city in Texas. Des Moines, population 206,599, is Iowa’s largest city and the capitol. We think it’s plenty big.

8.  Texas wait staff ask if you want sweet iced tea or plain iced tea. Iowa wait staff ask if you want hot tea or iced tea.

7.  Texas restaurants feature iced tea as their go-to drink in January. Iowa restaurants feature coffee. Hot coffee.

6.  In Texas, you can order shrimp three days in a row, and it’s no big deal. In Iowa, it’s a big deal.

5.   When the Star Spangled Banner accompaniment doesn’t work in Texas, every day folk sing a capella, no holds barred. In Iowa, every day folk refuse to sing anything a capella unless under duress because it’s not polite to show off.

4.  Iowans feel guilty about escaping winter to enjoy 70+ degree Texas weather for a few days. Texans think Iowans are crazy to live where the temperature goes below freezing.

3.  In much of Texas, home owners consider swimming pools a necessity and furnaces non-essential. In Iowa, furnaces are a necessity and swimming pools are for rich people.

2.  In Texas, people will wait in line for a half hour to get ice cream at Baskin Robbins on a  January Friday night. In Iowa, people wait in line for a half hour to get hot chocolate on a January Friday night.

1.   John Wayne may have been born in Iowa, but Texas owns him.