{"id":9948,"date":"2014-05-02T05:00:31","date_gmt":"2014-05-02T10:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=9948"},"modified":"2014-05-02T05:00:31","modified_gmt":"2014-05-02T10:00:31","slug":"10-truths-learned-about-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/10-truths-learned-about-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Truths Learned about Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.10.5″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Photo Credit: smarttiw at www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma impacts lives.\u00a0 Whatever time of life a person is traumatized\u2014as an infant, child, teen, or adult\u2014life is never the same. A post at Sojourners<\/a><\/span> by Catherine Woodiwiss explains ten ways trauma can change a life. What she has to say speaks volumes to caregiving parents who are dealing with grief.<\/p>\n

10 Truths about Trauma<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. Trauma permanently changes us. <\/strong>There is no such thing as getting over it. But it’s not wholly negative. Healing from trauma leads to new strength and joy.<\/li>\n
  2. Presence is always better than distance. <\/strong>To suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. If someone says they need space, respect their wish. Otherwise be present.<\/li>\n
  3. Healing is cyclical, not linear. <\/strong>Recovery takes a long, long time. Expect to cycle through stages of grief often.<\/li>\n
  4. To survive trauma a person needs friends who are \u201cfirefighters\u201d and \u201cbuilders.\u201d <\/strong>Surviving trauma requires at least two types of people on a crisis team: friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray and others who are calm and give steady care.<\/li>\n
  5. Grieving is social, and so is healing. <\/strong>We are wired for contact. Only through relationship that we can be most fully healed. Seeking out one another requires courage. Start by giving shelter to others.<\/li>\n
  6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. <\/strong>We offer assurances when we don\u2019t know what else to say. But they often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false. What we need are friends who sit beside us and let it be terrible.<\/li>\n
  7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories. <\/strong>Give a person struggling with trauma dignity to discover and own it.<\/li>\n
  8. Love shows up in unexpected ways. <\/strong>Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. It may not look like what was expected, but surprise love will be the sweetest.<\/li>\n
  9. Whatever doesn\u2019t kill you \u2026almost kills you.<\/strong> Some days you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell. This is a fight to be won over and over again.<\/li>\n
  10. \u2026 Doesn\u2019t kill you. <\/strong>You learn resilience to sustain you in other crises. It may make you stronger…or not.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Woodiwiss writes with conviction and beauty. For more of her insights, read the entire post at A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

    How Has Trauma Changed You?<\/h3>\n

    Have you been changed by trauma and the grief that accompanies it? What would you add to Catherine’s list? Share your insights in the comment box.<\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3JfcHJvZmlsZV9waWN0dXJlIiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnt9fQ==@” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”image,title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Jolene Philo is the author of the\u00a0Different Dream\u00a0series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She\u2019s also the creator and host of the\u00a0Different Dream website.\u00a0Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages\u00ae for Parents Raising\u00a0Children with Disabilities<\/a>, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and\u00a0at Amazon. The first book in her cozy mystery series, See Jane Run!<\/em>, features people with disabilities and will be released in June of 2022.<\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

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    People who experience trauma are changed people. Catherine Woodiwiss reflects upon ten ways trauma affects those who experience it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9949,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"[caption id=\"attachment_9949\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"500\"]\"People<\/a> Photo Credit: smarttiw at www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/a>[\/caption]\n\nTrauma impacts the lives of those it affects.\u00a0 Whatever time of life a person is traumatized\u2013as an infant, child, teen, or adult\u2013life is never the same. A post at Sojourners<\/a> by Catherine Woodiwiss explains ten ways trauma can change a life. What she has to say speaks volumes to caregiving parents who are dealing with grief.\n

    10 Truths about Trauma<\/h3>\n
      \n \t
    1. Trauma permanently changes us. <\/strong>There is no such thing as getting over it. But it's not wholly negative. Healing from trauma leads to new strength and joy.<\/li>\n \t
    2. Presence is always better than distance. <\/strong>To suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. If someone says they need space, respect their wish. Otherwise be present.<\/li>\n \t
    3. Healing is cyclical, not linear. <\/strong>Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect to cycle through stages of grief often.<\/li>\n \t
    4. To survive trauma a person needs friends who are \u201cfirefighters\u201d and \u201cbuilders.\u201d <\/strong>Surviving trauma requires at least two types of people on a crisis team: friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray and others who are calm and give steady care.<\/li>\n \t
    5. Grieving is social, and so is healing. <\/strong>We are wired for contact. Only through relationship that we can be most fully healed. Seeking out one another requires courage. Start by giving shelter to others.<\/li>\n \t
    6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. <\/strong>We offer assurances when we don\u2019t know what else to say. But they often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false. What we need are friends who sit beside us and let it be terrible.<\/li>\n \t
    7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories. <\/strong>Give a person struggling with trauma dignity to discover and own it.<\/li>\n \t
    8. Love shows up in unexpected ways. <\/strong>Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. It may not look like what expected, but surprise love will be the sweetest.<\/li>\n \t
    9. Whatever doesn\u2019t kill you \u2026almost kills you.<\/strong> Some days you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell. This is a fight to be won over and over again.<\/li>\n \t
    10. \u2026 Doesn\u2019t kill you. <\/strong>You learn resilience to sustain you in other crises. It may make you stronger...or not.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\nWoodiwiss writes with conviction and beauty. For more of her insights, read the entire post at A New Normal: Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma<\/a>.\n

      How Has Trauma Changed You?<\/h3>\nHave you been changed by trauma and the grief that accompanies it? What would you add to Catherine's list? Share your insights in the comment box.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3577,3579],"tags":[3833,533,969,3834,3646],"class_list":["post-9948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-in-parents","category-ptsd","tag-catherine-woodiwiss","tag-grief","tag-ptsd","tag-sojourner","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Truths Learned about Trauma - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"People who experience trauma are changed people. 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