{"id":7971,"date":"2015-02-13T00:05:20","date_gmt":"2015-02-13T06:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=7971"},"modified":"2015-02-08T16:43:22","modified_gmt":"2015-02-08T22:43:22","slug":"fantastic-friday-moms-valentines-day-wish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/fantastic-friday-moms-valentines-day-wish\/","title":{"rendered":"Fantastic Friday: Mom’s Valentine’s Day Wish"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

This week marks the beginning of a new Gravel Road feature called Fantastic Friday. Each Friday a fantastic blog post from the past will be given an encore airing. I hope you enjoy what you read as much as I enjoy thumbing through the archives and choosing them.<\/em><\/p>\n

With Valentine’s Day almost here, this post about Mom’s Valentine wish (circa 2012) sprang to mind immediately. It truly is a favorite post because it shows the depth of Mom’s love for Dad, who died in 1997 after a 38 year battle with multiple sclerosis.<\/em><\/p>\n

When Mom and I kept our standing lunch date last Tuesday, I mentioned that our next lunch would fall on Valentine\u2019s Day. \u201cThat\u2019s kind of fun, Mom. What would you like for Valentine\u2019s Day?\u201d<\/p>\n

She thought for a few seconds. \u201cWell, what I really want for Valentine\u2019s Day I can\u2019t have.\u201d She fiddled with her coffee cup. \u201cSo I might as well not mention it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead,\u201d I encouraged her. \u201cWhat do you really want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I really want is a few more years with your dad before his mind went\u2026\u201d She paused and moved her fingers in a circle at the side of her head. Her brow furrowed, and her blue eyes looked sad. \u201c\u2026you know, before he was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe wasn\u2019t with me that way long enough,\u201d Mom sighed.<\/p>\n

I nodded, not knowing what to say. There are no words for Mom\u2019s loss. Dad\u2019s diagnosis of multiple sclerosis at age 29, less than 10 years after their marriage. The love of her life struck down by multiple sclerosis. The end of her dream of being the wife of a county extension agent and mother to an increasing brood of kids. The loss of the bread winner, the protector, and leader of the family she loved so much and taking on those roles for the next 38 years as Dad slowly failed and finally died at age 67.<\/p>\n

Now, 15 years after his death, what does Mom want for Valentine\u2019s Day?
\nNot chocolate.
\nNot flowers.
\nNot a card.
\nShe wants a few more years with her husband as he once was.<\/p>\n

I looked at her, across the table, and said, \u201cWe can\u2019t know what life would have been like if he hadn\u2019t gotten sick. But I do know the life you gave us was a good one. You raised us well.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded and smiled. \u201cI did a pretty good job, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did,\u201d I agreed and helped her into her coat and out the door.<\/p>\n

Hiram\u2019s off tomorrow, so we\u2019re going down together to see Mom. We\u2019ll take her to lunch at Culver\u2019s, one of her favorite places to eat. Mainly because she loves their frozen turtle custard.<\/p>\n

Over dessert, we\u2019ll tease her like Dad did. We\u2019ll talk about his love of ice cream, his silly jokes, his infectious grin, the goofy songs he loved to sing, the cribbage rules he invented as he played.<\/p>\n

Compared to what Mom has lost, lunch at Culvers doesn\u2019t seem like much. But perhaps, sharing memories of Dad and indulging in the laughter and dessert he loved will bring him to her in some small way. Perhaps, over frozen custard, we can give Mom a memory of what she\u2019s wanted for Valentine\u2019s Day for years.<\/p>\n

If you would like to see a certain post on Fantastic Friday, leave a comment in the box below, and I’ll try to find it. Happy Friday and Happy Valentine’s Day to all!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week marks the beginning of a new Gravel Road feature called Fantastic Friday. Each Friday a fantastic blog post from the past will be given an encore airing. I hope you enjoy what you read as much as I enjoy thumbing through the archives and choosing them. With Valentine’s Day almost here, this post […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6959,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[301,818,843,2563,1194],"class_list":["post-7971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reflections-on-the-past","tag-dad","tag-mom","tag-multiple-sclerosis","tag-true-love","tag-valentines-day"],"yoast_head":"\nFantastic Friday: Mom's Valentine's Day Wish - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fantastic Friday: Mom's Valentine's Day Wish - Jolene Philo Staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week marks the beginning of a new Gravel Road feature called Fantastic Friday. 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