{"id":6356,"date":"2013-12-10T07:00:12","date_gmt":"2013-12-10T13:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=6356"},"modified":"2013-12-09T18:55:42","modified_gmt":"2013-12-10T00:55:42","slug":"top-10-reasons-for-a-lump-of-coal-in-my-christmas-stocking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/top-10-reasons-for-a-lump-of-coal-in-my-christmas-stocking\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Reasons for a Lump of Coal in my Christmas Stocking"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"lump<\/a><\/p>\n

10.\u00a0 I prefer to watch The Lord of the Rings<\/em> trilogy on Christmas instead of It’s a Wonderful Life<\/em>. So does the man of steel, by the way.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Christmas music has not made it’s 2013 debut in our home…and probably won’t.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No Christmas baking yet around here.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0\u00a0 With the man of steel watching his sugar and no dairy for the woman of aluminum, the eating of Christmas goodies lacks the Christmas spirit around here. It’s akin to two toddlers engaged in parallel play: we’ll be in the same room eating, but refusing to share.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0\u00a0 The Christmas letter muse has yet to bless me with an idea for this year’s missal.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0\u00a0 Christmas stamps have not yet been purchased. Which, if past practice is any indication, means the faith-related stamps are gone, and generic snowflakes or goofy reindeer will grace our envelopes. Again.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If the Christmas letter muse drops an idea on my head, and if the post office still has either generic snowflake or goofy reindeer stamps, and if the letters get stuffed into envelopes at least by Martin Luther King Day<\/del> Valentine’s Day<\/del> Easter<\/del> the Fourth of July, the return address labels will all be crooked. Because I am return label sticking impaired.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0\u00a0 The Christmas tree looks mighty lonely with not one present under it yet.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0\u00a0 If by some miracle the tape gets found and the presents are wrapped by Martin Luther King Day<\/del> Valentine’s Day<\/del> Easter<\/del> the Fourth of July, the Christmas tree will still be a sory sight. Because in addition to being return label sticking impaired, my present-wrapping skills are minimal. So the presents will look like they were wrapped by a two-year-old.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 My grandmotherly present-buying duties are in arrears as I have not purchased a single noise-making, highly aggravating, sanity-straining, obnoxious gift for our grandson to enjoy while his parents shake their fists at heaven and curse my existence…which is, of course, why God invented grandmas.<\/p>\n

Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

10.\u00a0 I prefer to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy on Christmas instead of It’s a Wonderful Life. 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