{"id":5076,"date":"2013-02-11T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2013-02-11T13:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=5076"},"modified":"2013-02-11T07:00:08","modified_gmt":"2013-02-11T13:00:08","slug":"tissue-ology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/tissue-ology\/","title":{"rendered":"Tissue-ology"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?attachment_id=5077\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-5077\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-5077\" alt=\"tissue variable\" src=\"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/shapeimage_1-2451-300x240.png\" width=\"300\" height=\"240\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>As a former elementary school teacher and survivor of a respiratory virus that&#8217;s still holding the man of steel hostage, today I&#8217;m officially launching a personal research study into a new branch of science.<\/p>\n<p><em>Tissue-ology<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My interest in this area of research was first piqued during 25 years of teaching. Early on, I observed an interesting pattern. The number of boxes of tissues used by students in a given year correlated directly to the number of learning and behavior issues among those students.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Correlation 1:<\/strong> More learning + behavior issues = More tissues consumed.<br \/>\n<strong>Correlation 2:<\/strong> Fewer learning + behavior issues = Fewer tissues consumed.<\/p>\n<p><em>Tissue-ology<\/em><\/p>\n<p>More recently, I&#8217;ve discovered that the whereabouts of tissue boxes in our house are good indicators of the healthiness of the inhabitants of a household under respiratory siege.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 1:<\/strong> Tissue boxes in normal positions in each bathroom = everyone feels hunky dory.<br \/>\n<strong>Stage 2:<\/strong> Tissue boxes the couch or end table = everybody&#8217;s in denial about how fast they&#8217;re goin&#8217; down.<br \/>\n<strong>Stage 3:<\/strong> Tissue boxes on couch or end table + overflowing wastebasket nearby = <del>hell<\/del> health in a hand basket.<br \/>\n<strong>Stage 4:<\/strong> Tissue boxes back in normal position + stray tissues on bedside and end tables = getting better, but not quite there yet.<br \/>\n<strong>Stage 5:<\/strong> Tissue boxes in normal position + dust on the tissue on top = God&#8217;s in his heaven + all&#8217;s right with the world.<\/p>\n<p><em>Tissue-ology<\/em><\/p>\n<p>According to official scientific monitoring underway at our house, I am currently at Stage 4, while the man of steel is at Stage 3. I am also looking for volunteers willing to participate in this research study. At this point, I can&#8217;t afford to pay you, but your name will be added to the list of charter tissue-ologists, which will be a big deal when the field of tissue-ology gets up and <del>blowing<\/del> running. Leave a comment below if you would like to participate in the study. And remember, you heard it here first.<\/p>\n<p><em>Tissue-ology.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a former elementary school teacher and survivor of a respiratory virus that&#8217;s still holding the man of steel hostage, today I&#8217;m officially launching a personal research study into a new branch of science. Tissue-ology My interest in this area of research was first piqued during 25 years of teaching. Early on, I observed an [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[1856,2073,1628,1130,1854],"class_list":["post-5076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","tag-common-cold","tag-flu","tag-humor","tag-teaching","tag-tissues"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tissue-ology - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tissue-ology - Jolene Philo Staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a former elementary school teacher and survivor of a respiratory virus that&#8217;s still holding the man of steel hostage, today I&#8217;m officially launching a personal research study into a new branch of science. Tissue-ology My interest in this area of research was first piqued during 25 years of teaching. 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