{"id":4657,"date":"2012-11-02T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2012-11-02T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=4657"},"modified":"2012-10-27T16:58:02","modified_gmt":"2012-10-27T21:58:02","slug":"more-filled-with-faith-or-doubt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/more-filled-with-faith-or-doubt\/","title":{"rendered":"More Filled with Faith or Doubt?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t be serious!<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0You can\u2019t condone evil!<\/em>
\nSo why don\u2019t you do something about this?<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Why are you silent now?<\/em>
\nThis outrage! Evil men swallow up the righteous<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0and you stand around and watch!<\/em>
\nHabakkuk 1:13<\/em><\/p>\n

The boxes in our attic are ordinary enough. A mix of old, dusty cardboard boxes and plastic tubs. Some of them house my journals, years and years worth of innocuous spiral notebooks and speckled composition books filled with my deepest thoughts and prayers. No one but me has ever read them. That\u2019s a relief because they also contain plenty of edgy questions for God, too.<\/p>\n

Raw questions about why he allowed our newborn baby to suffer. Hard questions about why good people are punished for doing what is right. Uncensored questions about why God doesn\u2019t stop airplanes from flying into skyscrapers. Not stuff I want other people to see. Except perhaps our kids once I\u2019m gone, so they can see the real me\u2013a woman filled with more doubts than faith when exposed to the grimy, gritty side of life.<\/p>\n

A quick read through Habakkuk makes me wonder if the prophet intended for anyone to read what what he wrote after his vision of the invasion of Judah.<\/p>\n