{"id":4642,"date":"2012-10-30T07:00:34","date_gmt":"2012-10-30T12:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=4642"},"modified":"2012-10-27T15:36:00","modified_gmt":"2012-10-27T20:36:00","slug":"top-ten-scary-things-lurking-in-my-refrigerator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/top-ten-scary-things-lurking-in-my-refrigerator\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Scary Things Lurking in My Refrigerator"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Today we’re going to enter the holiday spirit and enjoy a good, old-fashioned Halloween scare here at Down the Gravel Road.<\/p>\n

Not a haunted house.
\nNot a freaky costume.
\nNot a slasher movie.<\/p>\n

No, we’re about to experience something much more terrifying than those mundane horrors. We’re checking out the top then scary things lurking in the dark recesses of my refrigerator.<\/em><\/p>\n

(Insert Alfred Hitchcock Psycho music and creaky door opening here.)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>10. Ziplock bags filled with the hacked remains of forgotten onions and bell peppers in the bottom of the vegetable crisper.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0\u00a0 An jar half-filled with marmalade gone bitter and resentful after years of neglect.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0\u00a0 A pickle jar in which one sweet gerkin, treading pickle juice since last Thanksgiving, is about to give up the ghost.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0\u00a0 A bowl of leftover broccoli emitting an eye-watering foul odor.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0\u00a0 A shriveled grape, a wrinkled apple, and a discolored orange moldering in the plastic, transparent grave of the the fruit drawer.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 One mummified hamburger bun, nearly as old as King Tut, preserved in a plastic shroud.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 A bowl of separated egg whites waiting to botulize any fool stupid enough to ignore the green slime floating on the surface.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Bottles of steak sauce, liquid smoke, and soy sauce with shelf lives so long they must be radioactive.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0\u00a0 A brand new bottle of mustard with a plugged spout waiting to let loose and spray an unsuspecting victim with modern mustard gas when the right pressure is applied.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 A bazillion ketchup packets, collected by Mom during her clean-out-the-fast-food-freebies days, breeding like crazy until there are enough to launch their evil plot to take over the world.<\/p>\n

So, are you shaking in your boots yet? Or do you have scarier stuff in your refrigerator? In that case, join the Halloween fun and leave a comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today we’re going to enter the holiday spirit and enjoy a good, old-fashioned Halloween scare here at Down the Gravel Road. Not a haunted house. Not a freaky costume. Not a slasher movie. No, we’re about to experience something much more terrifying than those mundane horrors. We’re checking out the top then scary things lurking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[547,1914,1913],"class_list":["post-4642","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life","tag-halloween","tag-psycho-music","tag-refrigerator"],"yoast_head":"\nTop Ten Scary Things Lurking in My Refrigerator - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Top Ten Scary Things Lurking in My Refrigerator - Jolene Philo Staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today we’re going to enter the holiday spirit and enjoy a good, old-fashioned Halloween scare here at Down the Gravel Road. 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