{"id":44513,"date":"2019-10-28T07:00:57","date_gmt":"2019-10-28T12:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=30742"},"modified":"2019-10-28T07:00:57","modified_gmt":"2019-10-28T12:00:57","slug":"crying-god-gives-need-not-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/crying-god-gives-need-not-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

Crying when God gives what I need and not what I want is a regular event in my life. It’s most recent occurrence happened on Sunday. At church. During the sermon.<\/p>\n

I thought I’d hidden my tears. Until the woman to my left scooted a few inches away, and my husband gave my shoulder a squeeze. He knew what the woman did not. He knew the pastor had said something that touched the tender spot in my heart. The place where I long for the healthy father I never had.<\/p>\n

My husband was right.\u00a0Our pastor had described Jesus telling the paralytic that his sins were forgiven. Then, the pastor paused. “Do you think the paralyzed man thought something like ‘Thanks for forgiving my sins, but what I really<\/em> want is to walk again.'”<\/p>\n

Tears welled in my eyes. My dad. My mom. My sister. My brother. Me. We had all wanted Dad to walk again, for God to restore what Dad had lost to multiple sclerosis. But, God didn’t give us what we wanted.<\/p>\n

Long ago, I accepted God’s plan for my father’s life, though it wasn’t what my family wanted. Decades after Dad left this earth, God continues to reveal the good being accomplished through my father’s life. Even so, our pastor’s words probed the tender spot in my heart where my childhood longings for a healthy father are stored. The probing hurt, and I wept for the father I had wanted.<\/p>\n

To read the rest of this post, visit Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want at Key Ministry’s blog for caregiving parents.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3JfcHJvZmlsZV9waWN0dXJlIiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnt9fQ==@” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”image,title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off”]

Jolene Philo is a published author, speaker, wife, and mother of a son with special needs.<\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false”]

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]

Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can frequently be found crying when God gives what I need and not what I want. Like when God used my father’s illness, which I didn’t want, to reveal the gospel in a way I could understand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"I\n\nCrying when God gives what I need and not what I want is a regular event in my life. It's most recent occurrence happened on Sunday. At church. During the sermon.\n\nI thought I'd hidden my tears. Until the woman to my left scooted a few inches away, and my husband gave my shoulder a squeeze. He knew what the woman did not. He knew the pastor had said something that touched the tender spot in my heart. The place where I long for the healthy father I never had.\n\nMy husband was right.\u00a0Our pastor had described Jesus telling the paralytic that his sins were forgiven. Then, the pastor paused. \"Do you think the paralyzed man thought something like 'Thanks for forgiving my sins, but what I really<\/em> want is to walk again.'\"\n\nTears welled in my eyes. My dad. My mom. My sister. My brother. Me. We had all wanted Dad to walk again, for God to restore what Dad had lost to multiple sclerosis. But, God didn't give us what we wanted.\n\nLong ago, I accepted God's plan for my father's life, though it wasn't what my family wanted. Decades after Dad left this earth, God continues to reveal the good being accomplished through my father's life. Even so, our pastor's words probed the tender spot in my heart where my childhood longings for a healthy father are stored. The probing hurt, and I wept for the father I had wanted.\n\nTo read the rest of this post, visit Crying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want at Key Ministry's blog for caregiving parents.<\/strong><\/a>\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3615,3583],"tags":[1571,1816,843],"class_list":["post-44513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-encouragement","category-spiritual-support","tag-good-news","tag-gospel","tag-multiple-sclerosis"],"yoast_head":"\nCrying When God Gives What I Need and Not What I Want - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I can frequently be found crying when God gives what I need and not what I want. 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