{"id":44279,"date":"2025-01-15T08:55:21","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T14:55:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=44279"},"modified":"2025-01-15T08:55:21","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T14:55:21","slug":"how-do-i-let-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/how-do-i-let-go\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Let Go of My Adult EA\/TEF Child?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.16″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.16″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.0″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

How do I let go of my adult <\/em>EA\/TEF<\/em><\/a><\/span> child? That\u2019s the question every parent of a baby born with <\/em>EA\/TEF<\/em><\/a><\/span> hope to ask one day in future. That future is now for guest blogger Valeria Conshafter. Her daughter is looking at colleges as she nears adulthood. Today Valeria writes about her struggle to let her daughter go.<\/em><\/p>\n

My baby girl who was born with EA\/TEF<\/span><\/a>, turned 17 this month. It feels like yesterday when we got the news that she couldn\u2019t swallow because of her rare congenital birth defect. It\u2019s the last thing we expected to hear when we welcomed our first (and only) baby into the world. We had no idea what parenthood would look like. The road was bumpy, and fear and faith accompanied us throughout our journey.<\/p>\n

Most of the challenges are behind us. Now we are trying to understand and adhere to her plans toward independence in college life. And that means she will soon become an adult and be on her own.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s way too soon for me.<\/p>\n

I question if I will ever be ready for this. How do I let go of my adult EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span> child? Our lives were so different than those of parents with healthy babies. It seems like yesterday when I dropped her off for her first day of kindergarten. I cried for an hour in my car, worried to death and wondering if she would be able to eat her snack safely without me there.<\/p>\n

There were many scary moments at home during her feedings and illnesses\u2014too many to count\u2014when I nearly lost her and my sanity. The memories turned into PTSD and years of therapy. The prognosis is uncertain for babies born with EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span>. To me that means something can come up at any minute and at any age, so I need to be on the lookout!<\/p>\n

I wonder if she knows about the trauma I am still processing and trying to make sense of. That\u2019s why, in my mind, it is too soon to let her go.<\/p>\n

She is ready but I am not.<\/p>\n

We rarely talk about her condition anymore. The other day she said she forgets about it and doesn\u2019t care she had a tough life when she was younger. She said she is fine\u2014and thank God for that, I guess.<\/p>\n

But what about me? How do I let her go?<\/p>\n

It all went by too quickly. She needed me beside her 24\/7 once, and now she\u2019s ready to leave? I am still in a watchful mode. She had a cold a few weeks ago. Just the thought of her being sick made my body fill with anxiety and fear in an instant.<\/p>\n

Breathe. Pause.<\/p>\n

I take a step back and think, \u201cHow in the world will I do this when she\u2019s far away? Do I really need to let her go?\u201d All of a sudden, our story is changing, seemingly without a warning or enough time to heal.<\/p>\n

But I can\u2019t dwell much on that thought.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned to deal with fear many times and my mind knows the answer, even though my heart hides from it. Letting her go is a must, a natural process of life. I should be happy about it. And I am.<\/p>\n

Fear and worry might want to stay awhile, but faith is what I hold onto.<\/p>\n

God trusted me to care for this child, and I believe that he wants me to trust him and let her go. What stops my overwhelming fear from running my life is remembering this: God has her. He will never let her go. Ever!<\/p>\n

And so I change my focus to that.<\/p>\n

I put my trust in God\u2019s hands. I see my girl in His hands. Safe anywhere, everywhere\u2014during every bite she takes and every sickness she will endure. She will be away from us sooner than I want, but I trust that God will be always at her side. I must let her go.<\/p>\n

God does not and will not.<\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.<\/em><\/p>\n

Image by\u00a0Hilke Fromm<\/a>\u00a0from\u00a0Pixabay<\/a><\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/valeria-conshafter.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.27.0″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” title_text=”valeria-conshafter” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Valeria Conshafter is a native of Brazil. She has a background in Counseling Psychology and currently works for a women\u2019s organization providing emotional and spiritual support to women all over the country. She loves writing, cooking, and praying for her family and friends. Valeria lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband Todd, their 15-year-old daughter, Sofia, and their two Standard Poodles, Chocolate and Oreo. You can find Valeria on\u00a0<\/span>Instagram<\/a>,\u00a0<\/span>Twitter<\/a>, and\u00a0<\/span>Facebook<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.16″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

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Valeria Conshafter explores the question “How do I let go of my adult EA\/TEF child?” for EA\/TEF Awareness Month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44481,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3577,3561,3583],"tags":[264,3826,4260,4203],"class_list":["post-44279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-in-parents","category-special-needs-parenting","category-spiritual-support","tag-college","tag-ea-tef","tag-letting-go","tag-valeria-conshafter"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Do I Let Go of My Adult EA\/TEF Child? - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Valeria Conshafter explores the question "How do I let go of my adult EA\/TEF child?" for EA\/TEF Awareness Month.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Do I Let Go of My Adult EA\/TEF Child? 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