{"id":43933,"date":"2012-11-20T07:00:37","date_gmt":"2012-11-20T13:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=7346"},"modified":"2012-11-20T07:00:37","modified_gmt":"2012-11-20T13:00:37","slug":"parenting-lessons-in-letting-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/parenting-lessons-in-letting-go\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting Lessons in Letting Go"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.16″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.16″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.22.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Parenting lessons don’t end when our kids become adults. Guest blogger Kathy Guzzo is here to share some parenting lessons she’s learned since her children, one of whom has special medical needs, reached adulthood.<\/em><\/p>\n

Parenting Lessons in Letting Go<\/h3>\n

Years ago when we began our journey as parents, our goals included nurturing and guiding our children on the path where each step would bring them closer to becoming independent and responsible adults. We learned early that this desire would definitely be easier said than done, yet through all the tantrums of toddlers trials of four teenagers at once, and many mistakes made by us, we feel our children all in their mid twenties to early thirties, have become even more than we expected.<\/p>\n

Parenting Lesson #1: The Good and Bad of Raising Responsible Children<\/h4>\n

Raising responsible children is great, right? Yes and no. Yes, because they have become hard workers, striving to improve the world around them and loving and loyal to friends and family. However, the downside of raising children that become self-sufficient responsible adults is that as parents, we have to step back and let them live their lives. No, because I had to let go of knowing all that\u2019s going on in their lives and release total control. I had to accept the fact that they didn\u2019t need me in the same capacity any longer. I thought watching them from the sidelines would be easy as they learned from their mistakes as they pursued their dreams, and it was\u2014until it came to our daughter\u2019s health issues<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

Parenting Lesson #2: Need vs. Want<\/h4>\n

Although she is 28 years old, I\u2019ve really struggled the past few years with not knowing everything that\u2019s going on regarding her health issues. Of course, it doesn\u2019t help that she lives alone and 500 miles away<\/a><\/span>. Since the day she was diagnosed with lupus<\/a><\/span> and Epstein Barr Replication<\/a><\/span> over ten years ago, I\u2019ve convinced myself that I need to know when she\u2019s too tired to get up, not able to eat, has had to increase her medications, is getting IVs for dehydration, or when she just feels blah. After all, how can I help her if I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on with her health? The answer is simple\u2014I can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m learning to accept the fact that I not only can\u2019t help her, but at this point in her life she doesn\u2019t need my help, and that\u2019s hard to swallow. I have to acknowledge the reality that through all her struggles with illnesses, she has become what her dad and I had hoped\u2014a well-rounded, responsible adult able to care for herself and make good decisions.<\/p>\n

Another thing God in His graciousness is teaching me is that sometimes what I perceive at needs are really just wants, and that is so true in this situation. I don\u2019t really need to be involved in her life\u2014I want to.\u00a0 She\u2019s my daughter, so part of me feels I have a right to know how she is. Yet she\u2019s an extremely capable adult, so I\u2019m forced to step back and relinquish that desire. A few years ago, I was forced to deal with this same issue as my son left for his first deployment while in the Marines, and it was just as hard.<\/p>\n

Parenting Lesson #3: Relinquishing Control<\/h4>\n

The only feasible solution is to allow God to help me let go, and the only way I can do that is to trust that He is more than able to care for her when I can\u2019t. He blessed me with the opportunity to raise four amazing children, and although we dedicated each of them to Him at a young age, I now need to relinquish total control of their lives over to Him.<\/p>\n

When Andrea was younger she used to say, \u201cDo your best and let God do the rest.\u201d and that\u2019s where I\u2019m at now. As a parent I did all I could to protect, love, and nurture our children, and now I have to let go and let God take over. It\u2019s not an easy process and it probably won\u2019t ever be unless I continually ask for His help in learning my role on the sidelines. I have to allow Him to be the coach now, and become the cheerleader on the sidelines. Regardless of what happens during the game of life my children, especially Andrea, are playing, I will trust God to be with them each step of the way.<\/p>\n

What Parenting Lessons Have You Been Learning<\/h3>\n

Thanks, Kathy, for sharing your parenting lessons. How about you? What lessons have you learned lately? Leave a comment.<\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kathy-Guzzo.jpeg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.22.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” title_text=”Kathy Guzzo” sticky_enabled=”0″]Kathy Guzzo and her husband live in Northern Illinois and have 4 adult children. One of her daughters was diagnosed with lupus and Epstein Barr Replication as a young adult. Another began struggling with depression and OCD in her mid-twenties. She understands the need for her daughters to be able to make their own decisions regarding their health, but the nurturer in her sometimes has a hard time letting go. She desires to direct others to the peace and hope that God has abundantly available for them.<\/em>\n[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

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Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Parenting lessons don’t end when our kids become adults. Kathy Guzzo shares lessons in letting go she’s learned since her children reached adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"Parenting<\/a>\n\nParenting lessons don't end when our kids become adults. Guest blogger Kathy Guzzo<\/a> is here to share some parenting lessons she's learned since her children, one of whom has special medical needs, reached adulthood.\n

Parenting Lessons in Letting Go<\/h3>\nYears ago when we began our journey as parents our goals included nurturing and guiding our children on the path where each step would bring them closer to becoming independent and responsible adults. We learned early that this desire would definitely be easier said than done, yet through all the tantrums of toddlers trials of four teenagers at once, and many mistakes made by us, we feel our children all in their mid twenties to early thirties, have become even more than we expected.\n

Parenting Lesson #1: The Good and Bad of Raising Responsible Children<\/h4>\nRaising responsible children is great, right? Yes and no. Yes because they have become hard workers, striving to improve the world around them and loving and loyal to friends and family. However, the downside of raising children that become self-sufficient responsible adults is that as parents we have to step back and let them live their lives. No, because I had to let go of knowing all that\u2019s going on in their lives and release total control. I had to accept the fact that they didn\u2019t need me in the same capacity any longer. I thought watching them from the sidelines would be easy as they learned from their mistakes as they pursued their dreams and it was until it came to our daughter\u2019s health issues<\/a>.\n

Parenting Lesson #2: Need vs. Want<\/h4>\nAlthough she is 28 years old, I\u2019ve really struggled the past few years with not knowing everything that\u2019s going on regarding her health issues. Of course it doesn\u2019t help that she lives alone and 500 miles away<\/a>. Since the day she was diagnosed with lupus<\/a> and Epstein Barr Replication<\/a> over ten years ago, I\u2019ve convinced myself that I need to know when she\u2019s to tired to get up, not able to eat, has had to increase her medications, is getting IVs for dehydration or when she just feels blah. After all, how can I help her if I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on with her health? The answer is simple; I can\u2019t.\n\nI\u2019m learning to accept the fact that I not only can\u2019t help her, but at this point in her life she doesn\u2019t need my help, and that\u2019s hard to swallow. I have to acknowledge the reality that through all her struggles with illnesses she has become what her dad and I had hoped, a well-rounded responsible adult able to care for herself and make good decisions.\n\nAnother thing God in His graciousness is teaching me is that sometimes what I perceive at needs are really just wants, and that is so true in this situation. I don\u2019t really need to be involved in her life, I want to.\u00a0 She\u2019s my daughter so part of me feels I have a right to know how she is; yet she\u2019s an extremely capable adult, so I\u2019m forced to step back and relinquish that desire. A few years ago was forced to deal with this same issue as my son left for his first deployment while in the Marines, and it was just as hard.\n

Parenting Lesson #3: Relinquishing Control<\/h4>\nThe only feasible solution is to allow God to help me let go, and the only way I can do that is to trust that He is more than able to care for her when I can\u2019t. He blessed me with the opportunity to raise four amazing children, and although we dedicated each of them to Him at a young age, I now need to relinquish total control of their lives over to Him.\n\nWhen Andrea was younger she used to say, \u201cDo your best and let God do the rest.\u201d and that\u2019s where I\u2019m at now. As a parent I did all I could to protect, love and nurture our children, and now I have to let go and let God take over. It\u2019s not an easy process and it probably won\u2019t ever be unless I continually ask for His help in learning my role on the sidelines. I have to allow Him to be the coach now, and become the cheerleader on the sidelines. Regardless of what happens during the game of life my children, especially Andrea are playing, I will trust God to be with them each step of the way.\n

What Parenting Lessons Have You Been Learning<\/h3>\nThanks, Kathy, for sharing your parenting lessons. How about you? What lessons have you learned lately? Leave a comment.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3560,3559,3561],"tags":[3731,2340,3705,3733,3734],"class_list":["post-43933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-different-dream","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-adult-children-with-special-needs","tag-control","tag-guest-blogger","tag-kathy-guzzo","tag-lupus"],"yoast_head":"\nParenting Lesson in Letting Go<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parenting lessons don't end when our kids become adults. 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