{"id":43901,"date":"2012-09-18T07:00:15","date_gmt":"2012-09-18T12:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=7021"},"modified":"2012-09-18T07:00:15","modified_gmt":"2012-09-18T12:00:15","slug":"friendship-dance-for-parents-in-a-special-needs-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/friendship-dance-for-parents-in-a-special-needs-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship Dance for Parents in a Special Needs World"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Friendship is a precious gift, something friendship maven and guest blogger Amy Stout knows is truth. Today she reflects upon a friendship that gave her strength as the parent of a child with special needs. Read and enjoy!<\/p>\n

Friendship Dance for Parents in a Special Needs World<\/strong><\/p>\n

by Amy Stout<\/p>\n

As a woman who has experienced many facets of life that are vastly different from the typical, I learned early on about the beautiful dance of friendship. The dance was not always beautiful.\u00a0 Sometimes it was awkward, and the music didn’t sound right.\u00a0 Sometimes, I didn’t have a partner who knew the same dance steps I did. Many times, I was too embarrassed to dance in public\u2014to be “out there” for everyone to see.\u00a0 I often stood alone just watching others dance.\u00a0 It was incredibly painful when people would bump into me or step on my feet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then one day, I had an extra measure of courage and slowly began to sway to the music.\u00a0 A fellow dancer approached me and offered: “I don’t know this particular dance, but if you teach me, I’d really like to dance with you”<\/em><\/p>\n

I began to teach her the steps, how to listen to the music and respond accordingly, and she became sensitive to my methods and technique. We soon were twirling and dancing in rhythm. We felt free and the laughter bubbled forth. Something beautiful emerged from our awkwardness and we found we were able to express ourselves in ways we had never tried before.\u00a0 The more we rehearsed and danced the more we communed. We learned to speak through the dance and we became kindred spirits.<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Friendship Resume<\/strong><\/p>\n

The above is a true story. In my short life I have been an oldest child, preacher’s daughter, military wife, and I have experienced infertility, adoption, and parenting a child who experiences special needs<\/span><\/a>. That resume isn’t a very popular one in my circle of influence. There just aren’t many people that can relate to my same life experiences<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

More often than not, I was one of those people who, even in a room full of people, felt very alone.<\/p>\n

I had a difficult time relating to women that complained about their scads of children when I would have given anything for just one! Yet, I really needed a friend.\u00a0 Even though I knew the Lord was with me always and my husband loved me fiercely, I desired a female presence in my life.\u00a0 Arms that could embrace me (other than my husband), a girlfriend that I could really open up and share with honestly.<\/p>\n

I prayed for a certain kind of friend.\u00a0 One whose resume matched mine.<\/p>\n

Friendship Provided<\/strong><\/p>\n

But God, in His wisdom, answered my prayer very differently.\u00a0 He sent someone to me that could not have been any more opposite. She had a houseful of children (I had none), She prefers talking on the phone (I hate the phone), She is amazing at remembering birthdays (and I am not), and the list goes on and on and on…<\/p>\n

I received a letter in the mail (and she hates writing).\u00a0 She began by saying that she had no idea what it was like to experience what I had and was experiencing, but that she would love for me to share it with her (if I felt comfortable).\u00a0 She promised me a “safe place” to vent all I was feeling and to be completely honest. She was interested in knowing what my struggles and joys were and most of all she wanted to be there for me and uphold me in prayer before our King.<\/p>\n

She asked a girl, who had stood on the sidelines of friendship for a LONG time, to dance.\u00a0 She became my friend.<\/p>\n

Our friendship dance is not always perfect or pretty.\u00a0 Like a ship, the waves of life sometimes bring us close together and sometimes we float apart.\u00a0 But, I always know she is there.<\/p>\n

Friendship Dance for My Daughter<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I struggle with the challenge of teaching my Kylie social skills and how to be a friend.\u00a0 I think back to the most precious friendship of my lifetime and how it all began:<\/p>\n