{"id":43899,"date":"2012-09-14T07:00:56","date_gmt":"2012-09-14T12:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=6918"},"modified":"2012-09-14T07:00:56","modified_gmt":"2012-09-14T12:00:56","slug":"support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Pt. 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; title_font=&#8221;||||||||&#8221; title_text_color=&#8221;#42313A&#8221; title_font_size=&#8221;40px&#8221; meta_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#B4DBC0&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;50px||50px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; specialty=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; specialty_columns=&#8221;3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _dynamic_attributes=&#8221;src&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.22.2&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<p>Parents of adults with special needs, like all parents, appreciate encouragement from friends and family. Yesterday, Kathy Guzzo, guest blogger and parent of an adult child who lives with <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lupus.org\/resources\/what-is-lupus\">lupus<\/a><\/span>, shared her <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/2012\/09\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1\/\">top ten list of practical ways to encourage and support parents of adult children with special needs<\/a><\/span>. Today, she&#8217;s back with suggestions about how to use words to encourage parents, including what not to say.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Parents of Adults with Special Needs: What Not to Say<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Everything\u2019s going to be okay.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Cheer up.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Don\u2019t worry so much.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You need to be strong.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I know how you feel.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You need to eat.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You look awful<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You look exhausted.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Call if you need something\u2014<\/em>Chances are they never will.<\/li>\n<li><em>You can only do so much\u2014<\/em>A parent feels she can never do enough and doesn&#8217;t need to be reminded.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Finally, <em>don&#8217;t<\/em> offer advice of any kind, unless someone asks for your thoughts or input.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Parents of Adults with Special Needs: What to Say<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>I care about you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Tell me one specific area I can pray about.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It\u2019s okay to cry, to feel sad or even angry.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I admire how you\u2019re handling this.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You\u2019re a great parent.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>I have no idea how you feel, but I\u2019m available to listen.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Can I get you something you\u2019ve been hungry for, a special treat?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Whatever happens, I\u2019m here for you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>You will get through this.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Most of the above items seem like common sense. But believe me, it\u2019s not only kids that say the darndest things. Adults can be extremely thoughtless in what they say.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Parents of Adults with Special Needs <em>Need<\/em> Supportive Friends<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Having an adult child who&#8217;s ill can be extremely lonely and emotional as a parent learns to adjust and accept the new role in a child\u2019s life. When my heart is heavy as a result of my daughter\u2019s health issues, what helps me most is a simple reminder from a friend that they are praying for me and they care. Through my experience I\u2019ve learned that the most important thing anyone can do for a friend or family member is to be their friend. Try to put yourself in their place and then the follow the golden rule by doing for them what you\u2019d like them to do for you if the situation was reversed. When that happens, everyone involved is blessed beyond measure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Supportive Words for Parents<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How do people use words to encourage you while you care for your child with special needs. Leave a comment with ideas of what to say and what <em>not<\/em> to say, whether your child with special needs is an adult or any age.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/2012\/09\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1\/\">Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Part 1<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_color=&#8221;#b4dbc0&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@&#8221; image=&#8221;https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kathy-Guzzo.jpeg&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;100px&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;800px&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.22.2&#8243; _dynamic_attributes=&#8221;title&#8221; header_font=&#8221;Rubik|500|||||||&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#44465f&#8221; header_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; header_line_height=&#8221;32px&#8221; body_font=&#8221;Rubik||||||||&#8221; body_text_color=&#8221;rgba(0,6,69,0.6)&#8221; body_link_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;font-weight: 400;&#8221; border_radii_image=&#8221;on|100px|100px|100px|100px&#8221; border_color_all_image=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; box_shadow_style_image=&#8221;preset1&#8243; box_shadow_vertical_image=&#8221;20px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_image=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_color_image=&#8221;rgba(68,70,95,0.27)&#8221; image_max_width=&#8221;100px&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Kathy Guzzo&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<p><em>Kathy Guzzo and her husband live in Northern Illinois and have 4 adult children. One of her daughters was diagnosed with lupus and Epstein Barr Replication as a young adult. Another began struggling with depression and OCD in her mid-twenties. She understands the need for her daughters to be able to make their own decisions regarding their health, but the nurturer in her sometimes has a hard time letting go. She desires to direct others to the peace and hope that God has abundantly available for them.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_comments _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text_color=&#8221;#42313A&#8221; button_bg_color=&#8221;#EBDCB2&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_direction=&#8221;159deg&#8221; background_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%&#8221; background_color_gradient_start=&#8221;#42313A&#8221; background_color_gradient_end=&#8221;#EBDCB2&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; border_width_all=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_all=&#8221;#1c1259&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_2,1_2&#8243; use_custom_gutter=&#8221;on&#8221; gutter_width=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; module_class=&#8221;horizontal_optin_column_1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; header_text_align=&#8221;right&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#45107a&#8221; header_3_font=&#8221;Dancing Script|700|||||||&#8221; header_3_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_3_text_color=&#8221;#B4DBC0&#8243; header_3_font_size=&#8221;45px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;10px||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<h3>Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=&#8221;JolenePhilo|89f719a52b&#8221; layout=&#8221;bottom_top&#8221; first_name_fullwidth=&#8221;off&#8221; last_name_field=&#8221;off&#8221; email_fullwidth=&#8221;off&#8221; module_class=&#8221;custom_emailoptin&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; form_field_focus_background_color=&#8221;#42313A&#8221; background_enable_color=&#8221;off&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text_size=&#8221;16px&#8221; 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header_font_size=&#8221;50px&#8221; header_text_shadow_style=&#8221;preset1&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_blog fullwidth=&#8221;off&#8221; posts_number=&#8221;3&#8243; include_categories=&#8221;current&#8221; show_more=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; header_text_color=&#8221;#42313A&#8221; meta_font=&#8221;||on||||||&#8221; read_more_font=&#8221;|||on|||||&#8221; read_more_text_color=&#8221;#B6452C&#8221; read_more_font_size=&#8221;12px&#8221; pagination_text_color=&#8221;#B6452C&#8221; pagination_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kathy Guzzo&#8217;s back with suggestions about how to use words to encourage parents of adultswith special needs. She talks about what to say &#038; what not to say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43906,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<a href=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/976655_let_us_talk.jpg\"><img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6921\" title=\"Support for Parents of Adult Children with Special Needs\" src=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/976655_let_us_talk.jpg\" alt=\"Kathy Guzzo's back with suggestions about how to use words to encourage parents of adults with special needs. She talks about what to say &amp; what not to say.\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" \/><\/a>\n\nParents of adults with special needs, like all parents, appreciate encouragement from friends and family. Yesterday, <a href=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/meet-the-guest-bloggers\/\">Kathy Guzzo, guest blogger<\/a> and parent of an adult child who lives with <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pubmedhealth\/PMH0001471\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">lupus<\/a>, shared her <a href=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/2012\/09\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1\/\">top ten list of practical ways to encourage and support parents of adult children with special needs<\/a>. Today, she's back with suggestions about how to use words to encourage parents, including what not to say.\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\">Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Pt. 2<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>by Kathy Guzzo<\/em><\/p>\n\n<h4 style=\"text-align: left;\">Parents of Adults with Special Needs: What Not to Say<\/h4>\n<ul>\n \t<li><em>Everything\u2019s going to be okay.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Cheer up.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Don\u2019t worry so much.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You need to be strong.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>I know how you feel.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You need to eat.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You look awful<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You look exhausted.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Call if you need something.<\/em> - Chances are they never will.<\/li>\n \t<li><em>You can only do so much.<\/em>\u00a0 - A parent feels she can never do enough and doesn't need to be reminded.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Finally, <em>don't<\/em> offer advice of any kind, unless someone asks for your thoughts or input.<\/p>\n\n<h4 style=\"text-align: left;\">Parents of Adults with Special Needs: What to Say<\/h4>\n<ul>\n \t<li><em>I care about you.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Tell me one specific area I can pray about.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>It\u2019s okay to cry, to feel sad or even angry.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>I admire how you\u2019re handling this.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You\u2019re a great parent.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>I have no idea how you feel, but I\u2019m available to listen.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Can I get you something you\u2019ve been hungry for, a special treat?<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>Whatever happens, I\u2019m here for you.<\/em><\/li>\n \t<li><em>You will get through this.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Most of the above items seem like common sense. But believe me, it\u2019s not only kids that say the darndest things. Adults can be extremely thoughtless in what they say.<\/p>\n\n<h4>Parents of Adults with Special Needs <em>Need<\/em> Supportive Friends<\/h4>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Having an adult child who's ill can be extremely lonely and emotional as a parent learns to adjust and accept the new role in a child\u2019s life. When my heart is heavy as a result of my daughter\u2019s health issues, what helps me most is a simple reminder from a friend that they are praying for me and they care. Through my experience I\u2019ve learned that the most most important thing anyone can do for a friend and\/or family member is to be their friend. Try to put yourself in their place and then the follow the golden rule by doing for them what you\u2019d like them to do for you if the situation was reversed. When that happens everyone involved is blessed beyond measure.<\/p>\n\n<h3 style=\"text-align: left;\">Supportive Words for Parents<\/h3>\nHow do people use words to encourage you while you care for your child with special needs. Leave a comment with ideas of what to say and what <em>not<\/em> to say, whether your child with special needs is an adult or any age.\n\n<a href=\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/2012\/09\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1\/\">Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Part 1<\/a>\n\n<em>Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[3731,3732,3705,3733,3734],"class_list":["post-43899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-adult-children-with-special-needs","tag-family-support","tag-guest-blogger","tag-kathy-guzzo","tag-lupus"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Pt. 2<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kathy Guzzo&#039;s back with suggestions about how to use words to encourage parents of adults with special needs. 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