{"id":43898,"date":"2012-09-13T07:00:52","date_gmt":"2012-09-13T12:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=6913"},"modified":"2012-09-13T07:00:52","modified_gmt":"2012-09-13T12:00:52","slug":"support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/support-for-parents-of-adults-with-special-needs-pt-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Pt. 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.16″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.16″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.22.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Parents of kids with special needs, even when those children become adults, need support from friends and family. Kathy Guzzo, guest blogger and parent of an adult child who lives with lupus<\/a>, is here today and tomorrow with suggestions of ways to support parents and families<\/a><\/span>. Read on and I think you’ll agree many of these suggestions apply to all special needs families, no matter what age their kids.<\/em><\/p>\n

When a child is ill, regardless of their age, parents shift into caretaker mode. Nothing is more important at that time than doing what we can care for our child. The daily responsibilities and small tasks may cross our mind, and we wonder how they will get done, but if we want to keep our sanity, we know we must just let them go. This is where friends and family can be a huge help even if the child happens to be an adult. However, their needs are a little different. And if the adult child lives in another state and\/or is married things become even more complicated.<\/p>\n

Even though our adult daughter has been hospitalized and needed extended care at home several times, I never really thought about what others could do during those times. Then a friend\u2019s son became seriously ill. Although he was married and not living at home, she needed to be with him as much as possible. I really wanted to help her, to support her, but I wasn\u2019t sure what to do.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I looked back to my personal experience and asked myself what others could\u2019ve done to lighten my load and brighten my day. In the past few months, I\u2019ve written them down and even put some into practice. In each case I felt great knowing their lives were a little brighter and less stressful.<\/p>\n

Top 10 Things To Do for A Friend Whose Adult Child Is Ill<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Think specifically about what will help, uplift, and be appreciated by your friend.<\/strong> For example, don\u2019t offer to do their laundry if you know they are extremely particular about how it\u2019s folded and\/or ironed.<\/li>\n
  2. Bring a home cooked meal.<\/strong> Don\u2019t ask when to bring a meal. Tell them you\u2019re bringing dinner. You could even take it a step further and organize freezer meals for others to prepare<\/span><\/a> that you take all at once. That way they doesn\u2019t feel they need to \u2018entertain\u2019 when a meal is dropped off.<\/li>\n
  3. Think of small things they may not think of at the onset of a serious illness.<\/strong> At the emergency room I wanted to be available without intruding, so when I realized my friend had forgotten her own medications at home and their dog needed to be let out, I volunteered and continued to let her dog out when necessary. Other small things are checking the mail, putting the trash out or bringing in the cans, even checking the expiration date on milk.<\/li>\n
  4. Clean the bathroom and kitchen.<\/strong> Many people are uncomfortable having a friend clean their entire house, however if you remind them how nice it would be to come home to a clean bathroom and kitchen, they may agree. Or give them a specific time that you will come over to help them clean, fold laundry, etc. Cleaning together also is a great time to have a real heart to heart with your friend in a relaxed setting.<\/li>\n
  5. Flowers are always a nice surprise.<\/strong> Either already on the table when she returns home, dropped off as a surprise, or delivered to where she\u2019s staying if she\u2019s away.<\/li>\n
  6. Send encouraging notes.<\/strong> Or send Bible verses or cards via text, email or mail. If you mail a card, consider including a gift card for restaurants.<\/li>\n
  7. Respect the family’s privacy.<\/strong> Don\u2019t feel you should visit either at home or in the hospital. Parents wants to spend as much time as possible with their children and many times visitors take more of an emotional toll than the illness itself. Respect their desire to be with family only. Also, offer to be the contact person for other friends by sending out updates via text or email.<\/li>\n
  8. Create goodie bags.<\/strong> Occasionally put together bags of chocolate, pretzels, puzzle book, magazine, notepad, pen, fun Kleenex, small gift cards for coffee or sandwiches, etc. These can be dropped off at her home, the hospital, or even mailed.<\/li>\n
  9. Be available to listen.<\/strong> Sometimes just talking helps them organize all that\u2019s been happening.<\/li>\n
  10. Pray<\/strong> for families and watch for opportunities to serve them.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    What’s on Your Top Ten List?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Kathy’s list made me think of a few ways to support parents to add to the list. If you have more ideas, leave a comment. And come back tomorrow for Part 2, when Kathy talks about supporting parents by knowing what not to say<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kathy-Guzzo.jpeg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.22.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” title_text=”Kathy Guzzo” sticky_enabled=”0″]Kathy Guzzo and her husband live in Northern Illinois and have 4 adult children. One of her daughters was diagnosed with lupus and Epstein Barr Replication as a young adult. Another began struggling with depression and OCD in her mid-twenties. She understands the need for her daughters to be able to make their own decisions regarding their health, but the nurturer in her sometimes has a hard time letting go. She desires to direct others to the peace and hope that God has abundantly available for them.<\/em>\n[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

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    Parents of adults with special needs are in need of support themselves. Kathy Guzzo, offers suggestions about how to support them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43905,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"Parents<\/a>\n\nParents of kids with special needs, even when those children become adults, need support from friends and family. Kathy Guzzo, guest blogger<\/a> and parent of an adult child who lives with lupus<\/a>, is here today and tomorrow with suggestions of ways to support parents and families<\/a>. Read on and I think you'll agree many of these suggestions apply to all special needs families, no matter what age their kids.\n

    Support for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, P. 1<\/h3>\n

    by Kathy Guzzo<\/em><\/p>\n

    When a child is ill, regardless of their age, parents shift into caretaker mode. Nothing is more important at that time than doing what we can care for our child.\u00a0 The daily responsibilities and small tasks may cross our mind, and we wonder how they will get done, but if we want to keep our sanity we know we must just let them go.\u00a0 This is where friends and family can be a huge help even if the child happens to be an adult. However, their needs are a little different. And, if the adult child lives in another state and\/or is married things become even more complicated.<\/p>\nEven though our adult daughter has been hospitalized and needed extended care at home several times, I never really thought about what others could do during those times. Then a friend\u2019s son became seriously ill. Although he was married and not living at home, she needed to be with him as much as possible. I really wanted to help her, to support her, but I wasn\u2019t sure what to do.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I looked back to my personal experience and asked myself what others could\u2019ve done to lighten my load and brighten my day. In the past few months, I\u2019ve written them down and even put some into practice. In each case I felt great knowing their lives were a little brighter and less stressful.\n

    Top 10 Things To Do for A Friend Whose Adult Child Is Ill<\/h4>\n
      \n \t
    1. Think specifically about what will help, uplift and be appreciated by your friend.<\/strong> For example don\u2019t offer to do their laundry if you know they are extremely particular about how it\u2019s folded and\/or ironed.<\/li>\n \t
    2. Bring a home cooked meal.<\/strong> Don\u2019t ask when to bring a meal. Tell them you\u2019re bringing dinner. You could even take it a step further and organize freezer meals for others to prepare<\/a> that you take all at once. That way they doesn\u2019t feel they need to \u2018entertain\u2019 when a meal is dropped off.<\/li>\n \t
    3. Think of small things they may not think of at the onset of a serious illness.<\/strong> At the emergency room I wanted to be available without intruding, so when I realized my friend had forgotten her own medications at home and their dog needed to be let out.\u00a0 I volunteered and continued to let her dog out when necessary. Other small things are checking the mail, putting the trash out or bringing in the cans, even checking the expiration date on milk.<\/li>\n \t
    4. Clean the bathroom and kitchen.<\/strong> Many people are uncomfortable having a friend clean their entire house, however if you remind them how nice it would be to come home to a clean bathroom and kitchen, they may agree.\u00a0 Or give them a specific time that you will come over to help them clean, fold laundry, etc.\u00a0 Cleaning together also is a great time to have a real heart to heart with your friend in a relaxed setting.<\/li>\n \t
    5. Flowers are always a nice surprise.<\/strong> Either already on the table when she returns home, dropped off as a surprise, or delivered to where she\u2019s staying if she\u2019s away.<\/li>\n \t
    6. Send encouraging notes.<\/strong> Or send Bible verses or cards via text, email or mail. If you mail a card consider including a gift card for restaurants.<\/li>\n \t
    7. Respect the family's privacy.<\/strong> Don\u2019t feel you should visit either at home or in the hospital. Parents wants to spend as much time as possible with their children and many times visitors take more of an emotional toll than the illness itself. Respect their desire to be with family only. Also, offer to be the contact person for other friends by sending out updates via text or email.<\/li>\n \t
    8. Create goodie bags.<\/strong> Occasionally put together bags of of chocolate, pretzels, puzzle book, magazine, notepad, pen, fun Kleenex, small gift cards for coffee, or sandwiches, etc. These can be dropped off at her home, the hospital, or even mailed.<\/li>\n \t
    9. Be available to listen.<\/strong> Sometimes just talking helps them organize all that\u2019s been happening.<\/li>\n \t
    10. Pray<\/strong> for families and watch for opportunities to serve them.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      <\/h3>\n

      What's on Your Top Ten List?<\/h3>\nKathy's list made me think of a few ways to support parents to add to the list. If you have more ideas, leave a comment. And come back tomorrow for Part 2, when Kathy talks about supporting parents by knowing what not to say<\/a>.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3574,3561],"tags":[3731,3732,3705,3733,3734],"class_list":["post-43898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-self-care-and-stress","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-adult-children-with-special-needs","tag-family-support","tag-guest-blogger","tag-kathy-guzzo","tag-lupus"],"yoast_head":"\nSupport for Parents of Adults with Special Needs, Pt. 1<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parents of adults with special needs are in need of support themselves. 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