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The weight of silence as parents of kids with disabilities is all\u00a0too\u00a0familiar to guest blogger Lisa Pelissier. In this post she explains why she and other parents don\u2019t talk about what\u2019s going on with their kids and why they might want to rethink that decision.<\/em><\/p>\n The world of special needs parenting is broad and diverse. Some of us are thrust into a world where we\u2019re forced to wear the special needs banner day in and day out.<\/p>\n However, those of us whose children have invisible disorders\u2014high functioning autism, ADHD, mental health issues, and more\u2014have a choice about broadcasting our special need status. Do we choose to stay silent, to blend into the crowd, or do we choose to align ourselves with the special needs population?<\/p>\n 3 Reasons We Stay Silent<\/strong><\/p>\n There can be stigma associated with invisible disorders, especially mental health issues.<\/em>\u00a0Historically, people have regarded anxiety and depression as character flaws. They often are subject to comments like ‘If your child wasn\u2019t weak, she wouldn\u2019t be anxious.\u201d Or \u201cIf you trusted God more, you wouldn\u2019t be depressed.\u201d There can be shunning that comes along with any invisible disorder. You\u2019re different. You \u201cride the special bus\u201d\u2014used as a pejorative. As parents, we also receive blame. People say things like, \u201cIf your child has anxiety, it\u2019s because you\u2019ve been an abusive parent, or at the very least, a bad one.\u201d<\/p>\n Who needs that? It\u2019s easier to keep our mouths shut.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t want our kids to label and therefore limit themselves.<\/em>\u00a0Autism doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t have friends. It doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t have empathy, we think. If my child wears his diagnosis like a name tag, he may use it as an excuse for why he doesn\u2019t have to reach out to make friends, have to have compassion for others, or excel at his studies.<\/p>\n We want our kids to achieve their full potential. Why shout out diagnosis instead of ignoring it and hoping for the best?<\/p>\n A third reason we stay silent is because of our own denial of our children\u2019s conditions.<\/em>\u00a0He\u2019s not autistic, he\u2019s just quirky. She\u2019s not depressed, she\u2019s just hormonal. It\u2019s not ADHD, he\u2019s just disobedient. Accepting a diagnosis comes as a blow to our hopes and dreams for our child.<\/p>\n Like the title of this website states, we have to find a \u201cdifferent dream\u201d\u2014something that can be difficult and painful to do.<\/p>\n 2<\/strong>\u00a0Reasons We Shouldn\u2019t Stay Silent<\/strong><\/p>\n Invisible disorders are real.<\/em>\u00a0While it\u2019s true that kids can be quirky, hormonal, and disobedient, it\u2019s also true that kids can have real diagnoses of autism, depression, and ADHD, and those conditions can and do affect thinking and behavior. We do our kids a disservice when we deny their reality. Helping them learn about their condition and how it affects their thoughts, feelings, and behavior will give them the power to understand, learn, and grow\u2014and to manage their health rather than pretend there isn\u2019t a problem.<\/p>\n We can help others understand why our kids are different so they can be more accepting.<\/p>\n Many choose silence\u2014until someone else speaks up.<\/em>\u00a0Being up front about depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and other invisible disorders gives others permission to speak about their own difficulties. This can be especially true in the case of disorders we in the church may try fervently to hide because of shame and grief, such as in suicidal ideation. When you say, \u201cthis is my reality,\u201d you find that others in your circle of acquaintance have been there too, even if they\u2019re not ready to go public with it.<\/p>\n Where you expected to find condemnation and rejection, you find understanding, solidarity, and friendship.<\/p>\n As special needs parents, our burdens are heavy. Keeping them to ourselves not only deprives us of support, of someone to help us bear those burdens, it deprives others of the chance to grow in their own knowledge, understanding, and compassion.<\/p>\n You are not alone if your child is crippled by anxiety. But if you keep your troubles hidden, you\u2019ll never know what kind of love and support you\u2019re missing. You\u2019ll never know if by speaking the truth, by freeing yourself from the weight of silence as parents of kids with invisible disabilities, you may give someone else a boost out of their own pit of silent despair.<\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.<\/em><\/p>\n Photo by\u00a0Kristina Flour<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/hair.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.22.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Lisa Pelissier lives in Oregon where she is a homeschool mom and author of\u00a0<\/span>five middle-grade fiction novels<\/a>, the second-grade Monsters<\/a> series, and a\u00a0<\/span>YA fantasy novel<\/a>. Lisa owns\u00a0<\/span>SneakerBlossom Books<\/a>, offering Christian, classical homeschool Study Guides and curriculum. She blogs at\u00a0<\/span>Eleventh Willow<\/a>, offering encouragement for Christians parenting the mentally ill. She also works as a freelance copy editor, copy writer, an artist, and a marketing editor. In her spare time Lisa enjoys playing the piano and fretting about things over which she has no control.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.16″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Guest blogger Lisa Pelissier explains the weight of silence as parents of kids with invisible disabilities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43394,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3560,3559,3615,3561],"tags":[3613,4010,98,1491,4215,4216],"class_list":["post-42725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-different-dream","category-encouragement","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-adhd","tag-anxiety","tag-autism","tag-depression","tag-invisible-disorders","tag-lisa-pelissier"],"yoast_head":"\n
You are not alone if your child has attempted suicide.
You are not alone if your adult child who can \u201cpass\u201d for neurotypical can\u2019t get their life together.
You are not alone if your child is too depressed to get out of bed in the morning.<\/p>\nSubscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>\n
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