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What does my child remember about <\/em>EA\/TEF<\/a><\/em><\/span> treatment? That\u2019s a question parents ask themselves often. In today\u2019s <\/em>EA\/TEF<\/a><\/em><\/span> Awareness Month post, guest blogger Valeria Conshafter reports on what her daughter says she remembers as they celebrate her 16th birthday.<\/em><\/p>\n She doesn\u2019t remember anymore.<\/strong><\/p>\n That\u2019s what she told us, the other day at her birthday dinner when I mentioned this month was EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span> Awareness Month. I was surprised. I was surprised because I have not forgotten a single thing.<\/p>\n I remember everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n Every month after receiving the news that our baby was born with a rare birth defect known as Esophageal Atresia\/Tracheoesophageal Fistula (EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span>). I remember.<\/p>\n My only child, my daughter Sofia, was born 16 years ago in January. She is a bright and vigorous teenager. Full of life. Thankfully, I believe, the worst is over.<\/p>\n \u201cAll I remember\u201d Sofia said, \u201cis that I wanted that pink, butterfly, rolling carry-on suitcase from the hospital\u2019s gift shop and that Daddy was carrying me, and then I got it. I got the pink butterfly suitcase. But I don\u2019t even know what I was there for. I don\u2019t even think about this EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span> stuff anymore. It\u2019s like it doesn\u2019t even exist.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, the other thing I remember\u201d she continued, \u201cis that I had to drink that nasty stuff for an x-ray and then afterwards the doctor told me I didn\u2019t have to come back to see him anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI remember it too, honey,\u201d was my reply.<\/p>\n I remember everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n I remember that was the day of her last surgery. The 12th<\/sup> one. She was 4 and wanted that pink suitcase for her first trip to Brazil to visit her grandparents. I also remember the day that she got clearance from having yearly esophograms<\/a><\/span>, which happened just 5 years ago.<\/p>\n I remember each of her hospital stays, ER visits, and the many frightening moments at home.<\/strong><\/p>\n There were too many to count. The life-threatening ones where I thought I was going to lose her.<\/p>\n Sofia may not remember all that we went through with her<\/a><\/u> in and out of surgeries, all the holidays and important dates we spent in the hospital, the multitude of doctors, diagnoses, or all the choking episodes. But I do.<\/p>\n I will never forget; I know that as well.<\/strong><\/p>\n I am certain that all that she went through is part of who she is and who she is becoming. Her strength doesn\u2019t come solely from her genes or great personality, but from years of enduring treatments, recovering from surgeries, and all the suffering she endured too.<\/p>\n My girl is strong. My girl is amazing.<\/strong><\/p>\n She is also full of scars and carries trauma<\/a><\/span>. Her determination to do her best in all she puts her mind to comes from the warrior energy that she had as a child. A child who had to fight for her life.<\/p>\n Her narrative is different from many other teenagers her age.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s even different from mine\u2014her mother who\u2019s been there for her ever since. But for her, what she remembers is that she came out of that last surgery with a prize and that she did not have to ever go back to drink that nasty liquid. From now on she is gathering new memories and adventures to remember later. She will then be able to tell whatever part of her story she wants to tell and how she got to be the strong woman she\u2019s sure to become from all her experiences.<\/p>\n Even when I remember it all, for her what matters is the here and now.<\/strong><\/p>\n For those of you who are going through the difficult times right now, who are asking yourselves, \u201cWhat does my child remember about EA\/TEF<\/a><\/span> treatment?\u201d know that your babies will most likely remember very little of all what they went through. They will most likely not remember the hardships you went through or those difficult days you remember.<\/p>\n They will remember life differently than we do.<\/strong><\/p>\n I know it is hard and there\u2019s trauma<\/span><\/a> along the way, but there\u2019s healing too. Oh, am I still healing! But the truth is that your child\u2019s story should be theirs to tell, however they remember it.<\/p>\n Your story and how you dealt with everything will have a space of its own; to inspire and to encourage those who are in it right now. But for this moment I want to sit with the fact that she is here and that she is okay. That she does not have remember anything as I do. She is free.<\/p>\n Happy Birthday, Sofia!<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email.<\/em><\/p>\n Photo by\u00a0Sime Basioli<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0Unsplash<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/valeria-conshafter.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.22.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Valeria Conshafter is a native of Brazil. She has a background in Counseling Psychology and currently works for a women\u2019s organization providing emotional and spiritual support to women all over the country. She loves writing, cooking, and praying for her family and friends. Valeria lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband Todd, their 15-year-old daughter, Sofia, and their two Standard Poodles, Chocolate and Oreo. You can find Valeria on\u00a0<\/span>Instagram<\/a>,\u00a0<\/span>Twitter<\/a>, and\u00a0<\/span>Facebook<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.16″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Valeria Conshafter highlights the differences between her story and her daughters in “What does my child remember about EA\/TEF treatment?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":42867,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3615,3561],"tags":[3826,4202,4203],"class_list":["post-42364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-encouragement","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-ea-tef","tag-ea-tef-awareness","tag-valeria-conshafter"],"yoast_head":"\nSubscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>\n
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