{"id":3904,"date":"2012-05-18T09:50:16","date_gmt":"2012-05-18T14:50:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=3904"},"modified":"2012-05-18T09:50:16","modified_gmt":"2012-05-18T14:50:16","slug":"the-muffins-in-the-microwave-and-other-morning-mysteries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/the-muffins-in-the-microwave-and-other-morning-mysteries\/","title":{"rendered":"The Muffins in the Microwave and other Morning Mysteries"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This morning, I was up bright and early. At 6:15 I left the house to walk, my back exercises, Bible study, and breakfast already completed. Ten minutes later, my phone rang.<\/p>\n

By the time I fished it out of my pocket and untangled the iPod ear buds wrapped around it, and I inadvertently pressing several buttons, the caller gave up. The screen said it had been Hiram, so I tried to call back. But somehow I hit the mute button and had to hang up. Eventually he called back, and after explaining I really hadn’t hung up on him twice, he remembered why he called in the first place. Which is a miracle in itself, as the rest of the story proves.<\/p>\n

“Did you put muffins in the microwave<\/a> this morning?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“Yes,” I answered, and then added. “And I ate them. For breakfast.”<\/p>\n

“Okay,” he said. “So these in the microwave are mine?”<\/p>\n

I pondered the question for a moment.<\/em>
\nI didn’t remember<\/em> putting more muffins in the microwave.
\nBut the older I get, the more I forget what I’ve really done.
\nThe older I get, the more I confuse what I only considered doing with what I actually did. And the older I get, the more reality seems like a day dream and the more my day dreams feel like reality.<\/p>\n

That’s when I realized Hiram and I have been married for a long time, and he’s rubbing off on me. As my internal dialogue confirms, though I have spent the last 35 years pulling him out of the anti-memory-time-and-space vortex where he lives, growing older is gradually sucking me into it with him. My days as household memory queen are numbered. Maybe even over already.<\/p>\n

Hesitatingly, I answered. “I don’t think I would put a second set of muffins in the microwave. And my stomach feels full, so I ate mine.”<\/p>\n

“Okay.” His voice remained cheerful and unperturbed. “They must be mine. I just don’t remember putting them there.”<\/p>\n

I laughed. “We’re pathetic.”<\/p>\n

He agreed, and we both hung up. I slipped the phone back in my pocket and felt something long and stringy wrap around it. I pulled the phone out again, along with a tangle of iPod ear buds.<\/p>\n

Where in the world did those come from? <\/em>I wondered. Then I stuffed them in my pocket and walked down the road cheerful and unperturbed.<\/p>\n

Just like my husband.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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