{"id":3888,"date":"2012-05-15T07:00:41","date_gmt":"2012-05-15T12:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=3888"},"modified":"2012-05-15T11:01:06","modified_gmt":"2012-05-15T16:01:06","slug":"top-ten-reasons-to-wear-a-thats-so-80s-fanny-pack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/top-ten-reasons-to-wear-a-thats-so-80s-fanny-pack\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Reasons to Wear a That’s-So-80s Fanny Pack"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My dear, dear daughter fixed the clasp on my new black leather fanny pack during our recent Ohio visit. Since our return, I’ve been prancing down the road, showing off the pack during my morning walk. But on Sunday, I had a conversation with a young woman in our church. She described fanny packs as “so 1980s” and “old-fashioned.” She’s right on both counts, of course. Even so, here are ten reasons why I’ll continue to buck fashion by wearing my pack whenever I please:<\/p>\n

10.\u00a0 The Goldilocks reason: A backpack makes me slouch, a shoulder bag pulls unevenly, but a fanny pack sits just right.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0\u00a0 The Artful Dodger reason: Wearing a fanny pack makes a pick pocket’s job much harder.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0\u00a0 The platform shoe reason: When platform shoes are in fashion, anything goes…including fanny packs.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0\u00a0 The “I remember when” reason: I remember when fanny packs weren’t invented yet. Life is much better with fanny packs than without them. Toilet paper still has top billing in the before and after impact category, but fanny packs aren’t far behind.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0\u00a0 The used tissue reason: Who wants damp tissue innards soaking through their pants? No one, and that’s why God invented fanny packs.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0\u00a0 The free hands reason: Fanny packs leave a mother’s hands free for snatching children bald, wiping chocolate smears off faces with a little spit, and for herding cats<\/del> children to safety.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0\u00a0 The fashion-is-a-moving-target reason: Since my high school days, I’ve watched earth shoes, Doc Martins, platform heels, Chucks, shoulder pads, bell bottoms, skinny jeans, baggy jeans, big glasses, small glasses, big hair, smooth hair, no hair, dyed hair, big purses, little purses, back packs, and book bags go out of fashion and then reappear as the best thing since sliced bread. The return of the fanny pack is coming, and I’m ready for it.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The I-just-rearranged-the-pockets reason: It took me over a week to figure what to put in which pocket of my new fanny pack. No way am I going to abandon it now.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The circular reasoning reason: I walk every morning to stay slim and trim enough for my fanny pack to fit around my waist. No fanny pack. No walk. No waist. ‘Nuff said.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 The they’ve-been-around-since-the-dawn-of-time reason: Those strategically placed fig leaves Adam and Eve fashioned after they listened to the snake weren’t undies. They were fanny pack prototypes. What’s good enough for Adam and Eve is good enough for me.<\/p>\n

If you still wear a fanny pack, leave a comment about why you’re a trend setter rather than a fad follower.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My dear, dear daughter fixed the clasp on my new black leather fanny pack during our recent Ohio visit. Since our return, I’ve been prancing down the road, showing off the pack during my morning walk. But on Sunday, I had a conversation with a young woman in our church. She described fanny packs as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1497],"tags":[1610,1609,415],"class_list":["post-3888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-top-ten-tuesday","tag-1980s","tag-fanny-pack","tag-fashion"],"yoast_head":"\nTop Ten Reasons to Wear a That's-So-80s Fanny Pack - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Top Ten Reasons to Wear a That's-So-80s Fanny Pack - Jolene Philo Staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My dear, dear daughter fixed the clasp on my new black leather fanny pack during our recent Ohio visit. 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