{"id":3358,"date":"2012-01-24T10:00:26","date_gmt":"2012-01-24T16:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/?p=3358"},"modified":"2012-01-25T20:27:56","modified_gmt":"2012-01-26T02:27:56","slug":"my-name-is-still-jolene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/my-name-is-still-jolene\/","title":{"rendered":"My Name Is Still Jolene"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

For those of you who read the Winter Blitz<\/span><\/em> supplement in the local Shopping News<\/em> last week, let me set your mind at ease. My name is not Jeanne Philo, even though the “Pen to Pen” ad says it is. Rest assured, the owner of the Book Shoppe (where the “Pen to Pen” gathering will be held this Saturday, January 28 from 11 – 2) called as soon as she saw the mistake.<\/p>\n

She felt terrible.
\nReally terrible.
\nShe apologized.
\nAbout ten times.
\nEven after I assured her I was not upset.
\nAnd that I would still attend the event.
\nThough I plan to sign any books sold as Jolene Philo.
\nNot Jeanne Philo.<\/p>\n

Since we’re on the subject, this is a good time to clarify a couple other things. First, I have never had a facelift. However, my professional photographer friend who took my\u00a0 publicity pictures, including the one above, got rid of several wrinkles with PhotoShop.<\/p>\n

On the pictures only.
\nNot on my real face.
\nYou come can to the Book Shoppe on January 28 from 11 – 2 and see for yourself.
\nNo facelift.
\nPlenty of wrinkles.<\/p>\n

Second, my body hasn’t been butt lifted either. I’d never heard of butt lifts until our pastor mentioned them in his sermon on Sunday. (If that made you curious, get the whole story by going to www.graceccboone.com<\/a>. Click the “Sermons” tab, and then click on the January 22, 2012 sermon link and have a listen.)<\/p>\n

However, for the past month and a half my butt feels like it’s been through surgery.
\nThanks to my physical therapist.
\nShe looks really sweet.
\nBut she assigns nasty butt exercises.
\nTo strengthen my glutes which she says are weak.
\nBut I think the exercises were used to torture people.
\nDuring the Spanish Inquisition.
\nEven though the PT doesn’t have a Spanish name, face, or accent.<\/p>\n

So now you know the truth. My name hasn’t changed, my wrinkles are real, my butt is sore, and the PT is probably an ex-marine who served at Guantanamo Bay. Anything more you’d like to know?<\/p>\n

Or are you afraid to ask?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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