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The coronavirus Mother\u2019s Day blues have been dragging me down. As the holiday draws closer, the music gets louder and the lyrics get whinier.<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t get me wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n These blues aren\u2019t for me. My husband and I live in a multi-generational household with my daughter, my son-in-law, and our two grandchildren. So our Mother\u2019s Day celebration will have more than enough hugs and love to go around.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m singing the coronavirus Mother\u2019s Day blues for my 91-year-old mother.<\/span><\/p>\n Her residential home has been closed to visitors since March 12. My siblings and I call her daily. We drive over for window visits every week. The staff coordinates FaceTime visits. Even so, she\u2019s becoming more sluggish and less engaged by the day. It stinks.<\/span><\/p>\n The lyrics to the song go something like this.<\/span><\/p>\n Mom shouldn\u2019t be eating dinner alone this Sunday. A Mother\u2019s Day window visit isn\u2019t enough. Culver\u2019s frozen custard will cheer her up but I\u2019ll spare you the remaining verses. You can thank me later. Let\u2019s get back to the subject of this blog post\u2013my 91-year-old mom who had the rug yanked out from under her when she was 29 and kept going.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n This nasty virus wasn\u2019t around when her husband became ill in the late 1950s, but multiple sclerosis was. His diagnosis was my parents\u2019 personal COVID-19 moment. Our family and our future were changed by illness in many of the ways people now fear the coronavirus will change theirs. The challenges my parents faced were hard, scary, unfair, and traumatizing.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Thanks to Mom and her singular determination, our family emerged scarred and stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n In deference to the spirit of who Mom once was, I\u2019ll sing her praises instead of the blues by passing along something she said in an interview for the newsletter at her care facility.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat was the luckiest day of your life?\u201d the interviewer asked.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe day I met my husband,\u201d she replied.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat was a nice thing to say,\u201d I said after reading the interview.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI miss him. I\u2019ve been lonely a long time.\u201d Her tired blue eyes met mine and she added, \u201cHe loved you and your sister so much. When I got pregnant again, he said he would be happy to have another girl. You kids made him so happy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n She\u2019s 91. Even so, the message she gave me from my father wrapped me in the blanket of his love. Her words are the reason the coronavirus Mother\u2019s Day blues haunt me.<\/span><\/p>\n Mom gave me so much, and she\u2019s still giving. But the gift I have to give her this Mother\u2019s Day is the one she needs the most and wants the least.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s the gift of not being there, and it breaks my heart.<\/span><\/p>\n Happy Mother\u2019s Day, Mom. I love you.<\/span><\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3JfcHJvZmlsZV9waWN0dXJlIiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnt9fQ==@” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”image,title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off”]<\/p>\n Jolene Philo is both parent and daughter of loved ones with special needs and disabilities, as well as a former educator who worked with children for 25 years. She\u2019s written several books about caregiving, special needs parenting, and childhood PTSD, including the recently released<\/span> <\/i>Sharing Love Abundantly in Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages\u00ae for Parents Raising Children with Disabilties<\/i><\/a>, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman. She speaks internationally about caregiving and parenting children with special needs and blogs at <\/span>www.DifferentDream.com<\/a>.\u00a0Jolene and her husband live in central Iowa.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m singing the coronavirus Mother’s Day blues this Mother’s Day. Not for me, but for my 91-year-old mom who will spend the holiday alone. It stinks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3612],"tags":[4138,4153,843],"class_list":["post-31842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-holidays","tag-covid-19","tag-memory-loss","tag-multiple-sclerosis"],"yoast_head":"\n
<\/i><\/span>She should be with us.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n
<\/i><\/span>She should be with us.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n
<\/i><\/span>She should be with us<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>Her memory is failing.
<\/span>She is so lonely.
<\/span>She misses Dad so much.<\/span><\/p>\nRelated Posts<\/h1>\n