{"id":31698,"date":"2020-04-21T00:05:21","date_gmt":"2020-04-21T05:05:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=31698"},"modified":"2020-04-21T00:05:21","modified_gmt":"2020-04-21T05:05:21","slug":"sacred-story-sacred-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/sacred-story-sacred-space\/","title":{"rendered":"Sacred Story, Sacred Space"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″]

Sacred story sacred space. This is a phrase friends and family need to remember when parents of children with a special needs or disabilities share their stories. Guest blogger Kimberly Drew explains why it\u2019s important to give a parent\u2019s sacred story sacred space.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Every parent of every child with special needs has as sacred story. Just like not one child with a disability is like another, so no one parent\u2019s story is like another. They are varying degrees of joy and pain, of strength and failure, tragedy and celebration. When a parent of a child invites you into their story, it\u2019s important to tread carefully. This is sacred space to them. I have found over the years that this has become increasingly difficult to do because people aren\u2019t really sure how to give my sacred story sacred space.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

18 years ago when I was 22, I struggled to deliver our firstborn. When I got induced that morning, I knew it would be a memorable and life changing experience. I had no idea what that was actually going to look like. All these years later, I find myself texting my childhood friends and asking for prayer as I sort through the emotions of not only one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also of an altered future. Of a child who became a woman before my very eyes and yet will never be able to leave my care. It\u2019s not always a beautiful story, and it requires a sacred space in which to be told.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure that I\u2019m not the only parent who has had a frustrating conversation with friends and family when talking about the specific challenges that come with raising our children. When we need a moment to vent or cry, having people try to talk us out of that emotion is invalidating. It also doesn\u2019t help us heal and move on. I try very hard not to complain about what my day to day life looks like. However, there are times when I need to sort it out, to be free to be frustrated, or to grieve over something that happened 18 years ago.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I\u2019m willing to share that, and the response is \u201cBut she\u2019s so happy\u2026.she\u2019s healthy\u2026.at least she isn\u2019t\u2026\u201d it just shuts me down. In the same vein, I have heard many parents of children with high-functioning autism express frustration because people say to them, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t look like there\u2019s anything wrong with him\/her,\u201d or \u201cAt\u00a0 <\/span>least he\u2019s high-functioning.\u201d Trust me, autism in any degree is life-altering and those are not words they need to hear. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One of the greatest conversations I ever had with a friend didn\u2019t end with advice or even a long response. She simply said, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry you went through that, and I want to thank you for sharing it with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Friends and family, I encourage you to tread lightly when someone shares feelings of sadness or frustration with you. Yes, be a voice of encouragement! But be careful to not invalidate the experience or feelings that were shared. Give their sacred story sacred space. Listen thoughtfully, thank your loved one for sharing with you, remind them they are doing a great job, or offer to pray over them.\u00a0 <\/span>There are so many ways to encourage without trying to talk your loved one out of feeling what they feel.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for both at the bottom of this page.<\/i><\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kimberly-Drew.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” title_text=”Kimberly Drew” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Kimberly and her college sweetheart Ryan have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Cooper, and Ellie), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughters have special needs and are the inspiration behind Kimberly\u2019s desire to write. Kimberly enjoys working with senior high girls in their church\u2019s youth program, scrapbooking, reading, and music.<\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]

Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To encourage and support parents raising kid with special needs, friends and family need to give each sacred story sacred space and validation. Here’s how.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31732,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3615],"tags":[4150,452,533],"class_list":["post-31698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-encouragement","tag-empathy","tag-friendship","tag-grief"],"yoast_head":"\nSacred Story, Sacred Space - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"To encourage and support parents raising kid with special needs, friends and family need to give each sacred story sacred space and validation. 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