{"id":31348,"date":"2020-03-12T00:05:59","date_gmt":"2020-03-12T05:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=31348"},"modified":"2020-03-12T00:05:59","modified_gmt":"2020-03-12T05:05:59","slug":"my-child-is-different-but-we-have-more-in-common-than-you-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/my-child-is-different-but-we-have-more-in-common-than-you-think\/","title":{"rendered":"My Child Is Different, but We Have More in Common Than You Think"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″]

My child is different, says guest blogger Amy Felix, and yet. And yet, Amy knows that parents of typical kids and parents of kids with special needs have much in common. That commonality, she also believes, is what will help us raise a new generation of compassionate and kind adults.<\/em><\/p>\n

When she was younger, you thought it was cute. The way she jumped up and down excitedly and repeated everything I said. Her big, green eyes and sweet, round angel face were the first things you\u2019d notice when she entered the room. Her meltdowns were, in your mind, toddler tantrums and you gave me that \u201cI\u2019ve been there, too\u201d smile to relieve the tension you could tell I was feeling. We were the same back then. You and I were just parents, and we understood each other without having to say a word.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then she got older.<\/span><\/p>\n

My little girl isn\u2019t so little anymore and, suddenly, there\u2019s a great divide. Now my child is different. You still give me that polite parent-to-parent smile when we enter the room, but when she gets excited or upset\u2013we\u2019re no longer the same, you and me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now you\u2019re staring. <\/span><\/p>\n

As she flaps her hands and talks loudly when she\u2019s feeling joy, or paces back and forth with her hands over her ears when she\u2019s upset. Her differences are becoming more and more obvious to you. You look from her to me, sizing me up. When you realize I\u2019ve noticed it, you look away and avoid me. We no longer have an understanding, and it hurts.<\/span><\/p>\n

We are strangers to one another. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know that you have no way of knowing that my child has autism. Not all disabilities are visible. Just as I have no way of knowing anything about your child or your life. So, let\u2019s take a step back for a moment, beyond just us. Beyond this situation we\u2019re finding ourselves in.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our children are here, at this birthday party or that playground, together. <\/span><\/p>\n

They are taking it all in and, despite what so many articles may say, bullying is not just something that naturally develops as a part of childhood. Bullying starts with us.<\/strong><\/em> You and me. Moms and dads. Staring at one another in the presence of our children who, though they are busy eating cake or playing catch, are also busy watching. Those little sponges are absorbing every moment of uncomfortable silence between us. They haven\u2019t treated each other differently yet. Our children haven\u2019t begun to place each other on a scale of differing values.<\/span><\/p>\n

But they will because my child is different. <\/span><\/p>\n

Unless we change this judgmental way of interacting. Unless you look at my situation, unless I look at yours, and try to see the positive; try to embrace the differences as special and not strange. Unless we can be more like our children, our children will all-too-soon be more like us\u2013the us that stands divided. The us that doesn\u2019t take the time to try and understand. The us that we\u2019d rather not acknowledge.\u00a0<\/span>The window of time is closing in which we still stand a chance to raise a generation of compassionate, open-minded people. So, from one parent to another, this is my plea.<\/span><\/p>\n

My child is different. So is yours. <\/span><\/p>\n

They all are, and that\u2019s what makes them breathtakingly beautiful. Please, let\u2019s not take that truth from them and twist it into the lie that they all need to fit into the same mold. If you see my child doing something that you don\u2019t understand, ask me about it! I\u2019d love to explain what makes her unique and I\u2019d love to hear about what makes your child special, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a parent, I\u2019m different. <\/span><\/p>\n

I have to be, because my children are not your children. Each of these little people have different personalities and need different things from us as moms and dads. Can we please leave the judgmental stares and awkward silence at the door and just support each other? We may be on very different parenting journeys, but we have one thing in common. <\/span><\/p>\n

We love our children.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing we wouldn\u2019t do for them. When we\u2019re faced with differences that feel too great and we don\u2019t know how to relate to one another, let\u2019s just start there. Chances are, we have more in common than you think.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for both at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/SMP4568.jpg” image_max_width=”300px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” icon_placement=”left” sticky_enabled=”0″]

My name is Amy Felix. I\u2019ve been married for 10 years to a guy who\u2019s totally out of my league. I\u2019m a homeschooling mom to 4 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 2 years. That\u2019s really enough work on it\u2019s own but, because I love it, I\u2019m a photographer as well. And, in my spare time, I write. My faith is\u00a0the driving force behind my special needs blog: Appointed To Hope<\/strong><\/a>. I\u2019m a firm believer in being real, transparent, and using the gifts of this journey as a way to relate to others in their joy as well as their sorrow. To read more about my adventures in special needs parenting, visit my website at www.appointedtohope.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false”]

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Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s hard when the parent of a child with special needs admits, “My child is different.” Even so, today’s blogger believes all parents have much in common.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31350,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"It's\n\nMy child is different, says guest blogger Amy Felix, and yet. And yet, Amy knows that parents of typical kids and parents of kids with special needs have much in common. That commonality, she also believes, is what will help us raise a new generation of compassionate and kind adults.<\/em>\n\nWhen she was younger, you thought it was cute. The way she jumped up and down excitedly and repeated everything I said. Her big, green eyes and sweet, round angel face were the first things you\u2019d notice when she entered the room. Her meltdowns were, in your mind, toddler tantrums and you gave me that \u201cI\u2019ve been there, too\u201d smile to relieve the tension you could tell I was feeling. We were the same back then. You and I were just parents, and we understood each other without having to say a word.<\/span>\n\nThen she got older.<\/span>\n\nMy little girl isn\u2019t so little anymore and, suddenly, there\u2019s a great divide. Now my child is different. You still give me that polite parent-to-parent smile when we enter the room, but when she gets excited or upset\u2013we\u2019re no longer the same, you and me. <\/span>\n\nNow you\u2019re staring. <\/span>\n\nAs she flaps her hands and talks loudly when she\u2019s feeling joy, or paces back and forth with her hands over her ears when she\u2019s upset. Her differences are becoming more and more obvious to you. You look from her to me, sizing me up. When you realize I\u2019ve noticed it, you look away and avoid me. We no longer have an understanding, and it hurts.<\/span>\n\nWe are strangers to one another. <\/span>\n\nI know that you have no way of knowing that my child has autism. Not all disabilities are visible. Just as I have no way of knowing anything about your child or your life. So, let\u2019s take a step back for a moment, beyond just us. Beyond this situation we\u2019re finding ourselves in.<\/span>\n\nOur children are here, at this birthday party or that playground, together. <\/span>\n\nThey are taking it all in and, despite what so many articles may say, bullying is not just something that naturally develops as a part of childhood. Bullying starts with us.<\/strong><\/em> You and me. Moms and dads. Staring at one another in the presence of our children who, though they are busy eating cake or playing catch, are also busy watching. Those little sponges are absorbing every moment of uncomfortable silence between us. They haven\u2019t treated each other differently yet. Our children haven\u2019t begun to place each other on a scale of differing values.<\/span>\n\nBut they will because my child is different. <\/span>\n\nUnless we change this judgmental way of interacting. Unless you look at my situation, unless I look at yours, and try to see the positive; try to embrace the differences as special and not strange. Unless we can be more like our children, our children will all-too-soon be more like us\u2013the us that stands divided. The us that doesn\u2019t take the time to try and understand. The us that we\u2019d rather not acknowledge.\u00a0<\/span>The window of time is closing in which we still stand a chance to raise a generation of compassionate, open-minded people. So, from one parent to another, this is my plea.<\/span>\n\nMy child is different. So is yours. <\/span>\n\nThey all are, and that\u2019s what makes them breathtakingly beautiful. Please, let\u2019s not take that truth from them and twist it into the lie that they all need to fit into the same mold. If you see my child doing something that you don\u2019t understand, ask me about it! I\u2019d love to explain what makes her unique and I\u2019d love to hear about what makes your child special, too.<\/span>\n\nAs a parent, I\u2019m different. <\/span>\n\nI have to be, because my children are not your children. Each of these little people have different personalities and need different things from us as moms and dads. Can we please leave the judgmental stares and awkward silence at the door and just support each other? We may be on very different parenting journeys, but we have one thing in common. <\/span>\n\nWe love our children.<\/span>\n\n There\u2019s nothing we wouldn\u2019t do for them. When we\u2019re faced with differences that feel too great and we don\u2019t know how to relate to one another, let\u2019s just start there. Chances are, we have more in common than you think.<\/span>\n\n\"\"My name is Amy Felix. I\u2019ve been married for 10 years to a guy who\u2019s totally out of my league. I\u2019m a homeschooling mom to 4 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 2 years. That\u2019s really enough work on it\u2019s own but, because I love it, I\u2019m a photographer as well. And, in my spare time, I write. My faith is\u00a0the driving force behind my special needs blog: Appointed To Hope<\/strong><\/a>. I\u2019m a firm believer in being real, transparent, and using the gifts of this journey as a way to relate to others in their joy as well as their sorrow. To read more about my adventures in special needs parenting, visit my website at www.appointedtohope.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em>\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for both at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3560,3559,3561],"tags":[98,4134],"class_list":["post-31348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-different-dream","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-autism","tag-bullying"],"yoast_head":"\nMy Child Is Different, but We Have More in Common Than You Think - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's hard when the parent of a child with special needs admits, "My child is different." 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