{"id":31236,"date":"2020-02-11T00:05:56","date_gmt":"2020-02-11T06:05:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=31236"},"modified":"2020-02-11T00:05:56","modified_gmt":"2020-02-11T06:05:56","slug":"what-anchors-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/what-anchors-me\/","title":{"rendered":"What Anchors Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″]

What anchors me is a question guest blogger Scott Newport has asked often since he lost his son in 2009. In today’s guest post he describes how a few kind words help him cope with grief and give his life purpose.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m not always sure what anchors me, what keeps me from getting stranded on the next shoal in my life. Sometimes it\u2019s just a pleasant memory that keeps me on course. Other times a kind word makes me think deeper.<\/p>\n

Getting stuck is never fun. It can often lead to time spent alone, sometimes shipwrecked for days.<\/p>\n

Last Sunday I was sitting in the third row from the front listening to the pastor. HIs sermon was the first of four part series titled Sermons from the Seats<\/em>. That Sunday was about my journey. When the video of me talking about how I lost my son to childhood disease<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0ended, I explained\u00a0the work I do as a parent-mentor at our children\u2019s hospital and how my son Evan taught me the one thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe one thing is that people matter<\/em>,\u201d I explained.<\/p>\n

I never try to stay clear of the pain of grief. I know better.\u00a0I\u2019ve learned over the years it\u2019s better not to fight the wind, but to use her to help move me along. Sometimes the breeze is all I have to clutch. Sometimes, I wonder if the work I do helping families navigate in their high stakes hospital environment matters. Many times, it\u2019s a life and death experience.<\/p>\n

Back to what anchors me from getting stranded.<\/em><\/p>\n

A month ago I was talking to a mom. She had endured two months in the hospital with her sick child. There was no clear diagnosis presented by the doctors. Her child was not getting better. Her fears were skyrocketing. I guessed she was thinking about death.<\/p>\n

I inquired about her sadness.<\/p>\n

\u201cScott, I am just so mad,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, when do you cry?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d she insisted.<\/p>\n

The next week, when we me again, she cried three times during the visit. The lonely hospital room for parents became crowded with her thoughts of uncertainty. Her soul seemed to be drifting closer to survival.<\/p>\n

Last week I sent her a short text. \u201cJust checking in with you all.\u201d\u00a0The next morning, she wrote me back.<\/p>\n

There are some people that can sense other people’s emotions and energy, like a person whisperer. I think you are one of those people.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was thinking of the woman at the end of the church service when the pastor said, \u201cIf anyone had struggles they’re grappling with, write it on that card you were given when you came in. When you\u2019re done bring it to the front, lay it on the stage, and exchange it for one of these wooden tokens. They’re engraved with Scotts logo about hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

As hundreds of people came forward I started to cry. My girlfriend leaned over and placed her hand on mine.<\/p>\n

\u201cScott, your face looks like you\u2019re in a space somewhere between sorrow and joy,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

That evening, in bed I reflected on what the mom in the hospital and my girlfriend had observed. I started to talk to God about what anchors me when I’m heading to get stranded again. When I wonder if what I’m doing matters, maybe what anchors me are their whispers<\/em>.<\/p>\n

They sure seem like it.<\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” title_text=”Scott by the pond” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Scott-by-the-pond.jpg” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Scott Newport is a carpenter who has a vision for unwanted, damaged wood. His finds are treasures to his soul. Each discovery he makes unfolds into a beautiful piece of furniture for which he finds a home, usually with a child or caregiver of a child with special needs. He writes about the life lessons he learns from his 3 children, especially from Evan who died in November of 2009 after 7 years of joyful life. To access all of Scott\u2019s guest posts, click on the magnifying glass at the top of the page and type \u201cScott Newport\u201d in the search box.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false”]

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]

Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A dad asks “What anchors me?” as he reflects upon his young son’s death. In his answer, he finds purpose, hope, and connection. Tissue warning!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31241,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"A\n\nWhat anchors me is a question guest blogger Scott Newport has asked often since he lost his son in 2009. In today's guest post he describes how a few kind words help him cope with grief and give his life purpose.<\/em>\n\nI'm not always sure what anchors me, what keeps me from getting stranded on the next shoal in my life. Sometimes it\u2019s just a pleasant memory that keeps me on course. Other times a kind word makes me think deeper.\n\nGetting stuck is never fun. It can often lead to time spent alone, sometimes shipwrecked for days.\n\nLast Sunday I was sitting in the third row from the front listening to the pastor. HIs sermon was the first of four part series titled Sermons from the Seats<\/em>. That Sunday was about my journey. When the video of me talking about how I lost my son to childhood disease<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0ended, I explained\u00a0the work I do as a parent-mentor at our children\u2019s hospital and how my son Evan taught me the one thing.\n\n\u201cThe one thing is that people matter<\/em>,\u201d I explained.\n\nI never try to stay clear of the pain of grief. I know better.\u00a0I\u2019ve learned over the years it\u2019s better not to fight the wind, but to use her to help move me along. Sometimes the breeze is all I have to clutch. Sometimes, I wonder if the work I do helping families navigate in their high stakes hospital environment matters. Many times, it\u2019s a life and death experience.\n\nBack to what anchors me from getting stranded.<\/em>\n\nA month ago I was talking to a mom. She had endured two months in the hospital with her sick child. There was no clear diagnosis presented by the doctors. Her child was not getting better. Her fears were skyrocketing. I guessed she was thinking about death.\n\nI inquired about her sadness.\n\n\u201cScott, I am just so mad,\u201d she said.\n\n\u201cSo, when do you cry?\u201d I asked.\n\n\u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d she insisted.\n\nThe next week, when we me again, she cried three times during the visit. The lonely hospital room for parents became crowded with her thoughts of uncertainty. Her soul seemed to be drifting closer to survival.\n\nLast week I sent her a short text. \u201cJust checking in with you all.\u201d\u00a0The next morning, she wrote me back.\n\nThere are some people that can sense other people's emotions and energy, like a person whisperer. I think you are one of those people.<\/em>\n\nI was thinking of the woman at the end of the church service when the pastor said, \u201cIf anyone had struggles they're grappling with, write it on that card you were given when you came in. When you\u2019re done bring it to the front, lay it on the stage, and exchange it for one of these wooden tokens. They're engraved with Scotts logo about hope.\u201d\n\nAs hundreds of people came forward I started to cry. My girlfriend leaned over and placed her hand on mine.\n\n\u201cScott, your face looks like you\u2019re in a space somewhere between sorrow and joy,\u201d she whispered.\n\nThat evening, in bed I reflected on what the mom in the hospital and my girlfriend had observed. I started to talk to God about what anchors me when I'm heading to get stranded again. When I wonder if what I'm doing matters, maybe what anchors me are their whispers<\/em>.\n\nThey sure seem like it.\n\n\"AScott Newport is a carpenter who has a vision for unwanted, damaged wood. His finds are treasures to his soul. Each discovery he makes unfolds into a beautiful piece of furniture for which he finds a home, usually with a child or caregiver of a child with special needs. He writes about the life lessons he learns from his 3 children, especially from Evan who died in November of 2009 after 7 years of joyful life. To access all of Scott\u2019s guest posts, click on the magnifying glass at the top of the page and type \u201cScott Newport\u201d in the search box.<\/em>\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3581],"tags":[533,3081],"class_list":["post-31236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-grief","tag-grief","tag-purpose"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Anchors Me - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A dad asks "What anchors me?" as he reflects upon his young son's death. In his answer, he finds purpose, hope, and connection. Tissue warning!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Anchors Me - Jolene Philo Staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A dad asks "What anchors me?" as he reflects upon his young son's death. 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