{"id":30951,"date":"2019-11-13T00:05:18","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T06:05:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=30951"},"modified":"2019-11-13T00:05:18","modified_gmt":"2019-11-13T06:05:18","slug":"when-a-teen-is-in-crisis-4-godly-ways-to-respond-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/when-a-teen-is-in-crisis-4-godly-ways-to-respond-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"When a Teen Is in Crisis: 4 Godly Ways to Respond, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

When a teen is in crisis, parents want to be prepared to respond in wise and godly ways. In this two part series, guest blogger Catherine Boyle offers four strategies she learned the hard way. Because of the rapid changes experienced through the teen years, what she has to say is of value to parents raising children with special needs, disabilities, mental health issues, and their typical siblings. In today’s post Catherine shares the first two tips. In Part 2<\/strong><\/a>, she’ll share two more.<\/em><\/p>\n

The phone rang late at night. That\u2019s never a good thing, especially when one of your teens is away from home.

The words from that night are seared in my memory.<\/p>\n

marijuana<\/em><\/strong>
alcohol<\/em><\/strong>
police <\/em><\/strong>
arrested\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

So are some of the words from the following week.<\/p>\n

expelled<\/em><\/strong>
school board<\/em><\/strong>
conduct officer<\/em><\/strong>
suspension<\/em><\/strong>

That phone call came a week before an event organized and hosted by the ministry I had launched a year earlier, the first time I met Key Ministry\u2019s Dr. Grcevich in person. Let\u2019s just say there was some significant spiritual\u00a0warfare around that particular mental health ministry conference.

For me, the rest of that year and most of the next were spent in the most important ministry of all\u2013family ministry. After all, man plans his steps, but God directs our path<\/a>.\u00a0I promise you there were things that I did not do right during that time. But there definitely were some things that my husband and I did well, principles that may help you and help your child when\u2013\u2013not if\u2013\u2013you find yourself in a\u00a0crisis.<\/p>\n

#1: Respond to your child with more grace than truth.<\/h5>\n

When you\u2019re in a situation where you know you\u2019ve made a bad mistake, the last thing you want is\u00a0someone rubbing your face in it. Your kids are no different.<\/p>\n

Romans 2:4 says \u2018the kindness of God leads to repentance.\u201d Therefore, the\u00a0day after the late night phone call was actually pretty quiet. We did a lot of hugging without speaking. When we did have to talk about something difficult, we kept it to the point, speaking gently but firmly, conveying love\u00a0above all else. Like it or not, parents represent God to their children, even teens, and a thoughtful response to teenaged mistakes is important for ongoing openness to matters of faith.<\/p>\n

#2: Think about the possibilities, and let your teen make as many decisions as possible.<\/h5>\n

Kids have limited life experience, so a decision that upends a teen\u2019s world can feel like the end\u00a0to them. As a parent, especially in a culture where suicide is widely viewed as a way out of pain, you must do what you can in a time of crisis to show your child love and a direction beyond the pain of the moment. Beyond the immediate crisis, as a parent you must anticipate depression, isolation, and possibly anger at God as a result of unwanted changes. If adults experience these things when we face broken relationships, job losses,\u00a0unexpected deaths, or even long seasons of seemingly unanswered prayer, then teens are going to respond in the same way. The only difference is that due to limited life experience, teens will feel the pain more intensely.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m good at research, so I began exploring all options with school, but also with counselors and other mental health professionals.\u00a0There were some decisions my husband and I made that were non-negotiable\u2013\u2013counseling and certain boundaries at home\u2013\u2013but others were too personal and important to my teen for my husband and I to decide on our own.\u00a0Adults routinely have to make difficult decisions, and part of growing up is learning how to sort through imperfect options. Encouraging a teen to make difficult decisions, even during a crisis, prepares them for a future and gives them a sense of agency.

Part 2<\/strong><\/a>

<\/p>\n

\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Catherine-Boyle-Headshot-042019.jpeg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” title_text=”Catherine Boyle Headshot 042019″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

Catherine Boyle is Mental Health Ministry Director, Blog Editor and Social Media Manager for Key Ministry. Catherine has been impacted by mental health issues her entire life, including her own struggles with anorexia, bulimia, anxiety and depression. Prior to joining Key Ministry in 2018, Catherine authored Hungry Souls: What the Bible Says About Eating Disorder<\/a>, and helped launch a ministry home<\/a>\u00a0for women with eating disorders. In 2015, Catherine founded Outside In Ministries, focusing on how the church can minister to and with people with mental health issues. Follow Catherine\u2019s work here and at www.catherineboyle.com<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, Pinterest<\/a>\u00a0and Patreon<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false”]

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]

Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When a teen is in crisis, it’s hard to know what to do. Part 1 of this series explains 2 ways parents can respond to teens with or without special needs. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":30960,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"

\"When<\/p>\nWhen a teen is in crisis, parents want to be prepared to respond in wise and godly ways. In this two part series, guest blogger Catherine Boyle offers four strategies she learned the hard way. Because of the rapid changes experienced through the teen years, what she has to say is of value to parents raising children with special needs, disabilities, mental health issues, and their typical siblings. In today's post Catherine shares the first two tips. In Part 2<\/strong><\/a>, she'll share two more.<\/em>\n\nThe phone rang late at night. That\u2019s never a good thing, especially when one of your teens is away from home.

The words from that night are seared in my memory.\n\nmarijuana<\/em><\/strong>\nalcohol<\/em><\/strong>\npolice <\/em><\/strong>\narrested\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>\n\nSo are some of the words from the following week.\n\n expelled<\/em><\/strong>\nschool board<\/em><\/strong>\nconduct officer<\/em><\/strong>\nsuspension<\/em><\/strong>

That phone call came a week before an event organized and hosted by the ministry I had launched a year earlier, the first time I met Key Ministry\u2019s Dr. Grcevich in person. Let\u2019s just say there was some significant spiritual\u00a0warfare around that particular mental health ministry conference.

For me, the rest of that year and most of the next were spent in the most important ministry of all\u2013family ministry. After all, man plans his steps, but God directs our path<\/a>.\u00a0I promise you there were things that I did not do right during that time. But there definitely were some things that my husband and I did well, principles that may help you and help your child when\u2013\u2013not if\u2013\u2013you find yourself in a\u00a0crisis.\n

#1: Respond to your child with more grace than truth.<\/h5>\nWhen you\u2019re in a situation where you know you\u2019ve made a bad mistake, the last thing you want is\u00a0someone rubbing your face in it. Your kids are no different.\n\nRomans 2:4 says \u2018the kindness of God leads to repentance.\u201d Therefore, the\u00a0day after the late night phone call was actually pretty quiet. We did a lot of hugging without speaking. When we did have to talk about something difficult, we kept it to the point, speaking gently but firmly, conveying love\u00a0above all else. Like it or not, parents represent God to their children, even teens, and a thoughtful response to teenaged mistakes is important for ongoing openness to matters of faith.\n
#2: Think about the possibilities, and let your teen make as many decisions as possible.<\/h5>\nKids have limited life experience, so a decision that upends a teen\u2019s world can feel like the end\u00a0to them. As a parent, especially in a culture where suicide is widely viewed as a way out of pain, you must do what you can in a time of crisis to show your child love and a direction beyond the pain of the moment. Beyond the immediate crisis, as a parent you must anticipate depression, isolation, and possibly anger at God as a result of unwanted changes. If adults experience these things when we face broken relationships, job losses,\u00a0unexpected deaths, or even long seasons of seemingly unanswered prayer, then teens are going to respond in the same way. The only difference is that due to limited life experience, teens will feel the pain more intensely.\n\nI\u2019m good at research, so I began exploring all options with school, but also with counselors and other mental health professionals.\u00a0There were some decisions my husband and I made that were non-negotiable\u2013\u2013counseling and certain boundaries at home\u2013\u2013but others were too personal and important to my teen for my husband and I to decide on our own.\u00a0Adults routinely have to make difficult decisions, and part of growing up is learning how to sort through imperfect options. Encouraging a teen to make difficult decisions, even during a crisis, prepares them for a future and gives them a sense of agency.

Part 2<\/strong><\/a>

\n
\n\n\"\"Catherine Boyle is Mental Health Ministry Director, Blog Editor and Social Media Manager for Key Ministry. Catherine has been impacted by mental health issues her entire life, including her own struggles with anorexia, bulimia, anxiety and depression. Prior to joining Key Ministry in 2018, Catherine authored Hungry Souls: What the Bible Says About Eating Disorder<\/a>, and helped launch a ministry home<\/a>\u00a0for women with eating disorders. In 2015, Catherine founded Outside In Ministries, focusing on how the church can minister to and with people with mental health issues. Follow Catherine\u2019s work here and at www.catherineboyle.com<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, Pinterest<\/a>\u00a0and Patreon<\/a>.<\/span>\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the monthly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up at the bottom of this page.<\/em>\n\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/section><\/div>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[2516,4094,1620],"class_list":["post-30951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-mental-health","tag-substance-abuse","tag-suicide"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen a Teen Is in Crisis: 4 Godly Ways to Respond, Part 1 - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When a teen is in crisis, it's hard to know what to do. 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