{"id":30752,"date":"2012-08-27T07:00:51","date_gmt":"2012-08-27T12:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=6826"},"modified":"2012-08-27T07:00:51","modified_gmt":"2012-08-27T12:00:51","slug":"friendships-5-bes-for-befriending-kids-with-special-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/friendships-5-bes-for-befriending-kids-with-special-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship’s 5 Bes for Befriending Kids with Special Needs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.16″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.16″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.22.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Initiating friendships with kids who have special needs is not a natural ability in most children. It’s a skill most need to be taught. Guest blogger Gillian Marchenko believes parents are best able to teach children about how to make friends with their kids who have special needs. In today’s post she shares the 5 Bes, which can help kids cultivate genuine friendships.<\/em><\/p>\n

Friendship’s 5 Bes for Befriending Kids with Special Needs<\/strong><\/p>\n

How can we help our kids cultivate genuine friendship with children with special needs? By using the 5 Bes, a helpful guide to encourage interaction between typically developing kids and children with special needs. You can use this list is meant to be used to talk through special needs with your kids.<\/p>\n

The Five Friendship Bes:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Be Smart:<\/strong>\u00a0Let’s talk about your friend and learn about his special needs. Every person is different. Accept your friend for who he is, differences and all. If you have questions about him, ask. Ask your teacher or your friend’s mom or dad if there is something you don’t understand.<\/li>\n
  2. Be Patient:<\/strong>\u00a0Some of her behaviors may bother you. Your friend is not trying to annoy you. She might need more time to answer your questions or to help you finish an activity. Kids with special needs sometimes think differently (as we all do!). If your friend does something that offends you, calmly explain to her what bothered you or talk to an adult about the behavior.<\/li>\n
  3. Be Inclusive:<\/strong>\u00a0Inclusive is a big word. It just means to invite your friend to join in activities with you. Or offer to teach your friend how to play. Show him the rules of the game. Clear directions help\u00a0everyone understand things better.\u00a0Try not to be hurt if he says no.<\/li>\n
  4. Be Sensitive:<\/strong>\u00a0Join your friend in the activities she enjoys. Talk about topics that interest her. Maybe your friend really likes trains. Even though it can get old for you, it makes her feel special when you listen and appreciate the things she loves. Praise your friend for the things she is interested in.<\/li>\n
  5. Be Brave:<\/strong> Children with special needs are often made fun of or bullied. Be brave and defend your friend. If your friend is being teased or bullied, tell the teacher or another adult right away. It is never all right to bully another child. Sometimes kids with special needs have a harder time understanding sarcasm and jokes. Don’t tease your friend. Don’t allow others to tease him either.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    A Starting Place for Friendships<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Of course, this is just a starting point, an opportunity to jump in and talk to our kids about loving and befriending all kids around us in school, church, and on the playground. There could probably be a list of the 100 Bes, but this will get things started with your discussion. How do you talk to your children about special needs?<\/p>\n

    How Do You Encourage Friendships with Kids Who Have Special Needs?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I love the 5 Friendship Bes. How about you? How do you encourage your typical kids and other children to become friends with your child with special needs? What would you add to Gillian’s list? Like Gillian said, the list of Friendship Bes could reach 100. How about we give it a try in the comment box?<\/p>\n

    Finally, thanks to all who entered to win a copy of the Surviving to Thriving Special Needs Ministry DVD reviewed at Different Dream on August 16. The winner is Lea Duckstad, who entered because her growing church is starting a special needs ministry called Embrace. Congratulations, Lea, and best wishes as your church begins this new ministry!<\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”https:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Gillian2014-20-Edit-2-copy.jpeg” icon_placement=”left” image_icon_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.22.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” image_max_width=”100px” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” title_text=”Gillian2014-20-Edit-2 copy” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Gillian Marchenko is an author, speaker, wife, mother of four daughters and advocate for individuals with special needs.<\/span>\u00a0Still Life, A Memoir of Living Fully with Depression<\/a><\/em>\u00a0<\/span>was published with InterVarsity Press in 2016. Her first book,<\/span>\u00a0Sun Shine Down<\/em><\/a>\u00a0(T. S. Poetry Press), chronicles her experience having a baby with Down syndrome while serving as a missionary in Ukraine. Gillian writes and speaks about parenting kids with Down syndrome, faith, depression, imperfection and adoption at her website, www.gillianmarchenko.com<\/a>. She and her husband Sergei spent four years as church planters with the Evangelical Free Church of America in Kiev, Ukraine, and they now live with their four daughters in St. Louis, Missouri.<\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#42313A 0%|#EBDCB2 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.16″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

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    Initiating friendships with kids with special needs is a skill that must be taught. Gillian Marchenko shares ways to befriending kids with special needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43838,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"Initiating<\/a>\n\nInitiating friendships with kids who have special needs is not a natural ability in most children. It's a skill most need to be taught. Guest blogger Gillian Marchenko <\/a>believes parents are best able to teach children about how how make friends with their kids who have special needs. In today's post she shares the 5 Bes, which can help kids cultivate genuine friendships.\n

    Friendship's 5 Bes for Befriending Kids with Special Needs<\/h3>\n

    By Gillian Marchenko<\/em><\/p>\nHow can we help our kids cultivate genuine friendship with children with special needs? By using the 5 Bes, a helpful guide to encourage interaction between typically developing kids and children with special needs. You can use this list is meant to be used to talk through special needs with your kids.\n

    The Five Friendship Bes:<\/h4>\n
      \n \t
    1. Be Smart:<\/strong>\u00a0Let' talk about your friend and learn about his special needs. Every person is different. Accept your friend for who he is, differences and all. If you have questions about him. Ask. Ask your teacher or your friend's mom or dad if there is something you don't understand.<\/li>\n \t
    2. Be Patient:<\/strong>\u00a0Some of her behaviors may bother you. Your friend is not trying to annoy you. She might need more time to answer your questions or to help you finish an activity. Kids with special needs sometimes think differently (as we all do!). If your friend does something that offends you calmly explain to her what bothered you, or talk to an adult about the behavior.<\/li>\n \t
    3. Be Inclusive:<\/strong>\u00a0Inclusive is a big word. It just means to invite your friend to join in activities with you. Or offer to teach your friend how to play. Show him the rules of the game. Clear directions help\u00a0everyone understand things better.\u00a0Try not to be hurt if he says no.<\/li>\n \t
    4. Be Sensitive:<\/strong>\u00a0Join your friend in the activities she enjoys. Talk about topics that interest her. Maybe your friend really likes trains. Even though it can get old for you, it makes her feel special when you listen and appreciate the things she loves. Praise your friend for the things she is interested in.<\/li>\n \t
    5. Be Brave:<\/strong>\u00a0Children with special needs are often made fun of or bullied. Be brave and defend your friend. If your friend is being teased or bullied, tell the teacher or another adult right away.\u00a0It is never alright to bully another child. Sometimes kids with special needs have a harder time understanding sarcasm and jokes. Don't tease your friend. Don't allow others to tease him either.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      <\/h4>\n

      A Starting Place for Friendships<\/h4>\nOf course, this is just a starting point, an opportunity to jump in and talk to our kids about loving and befriending all kids around us in school, church, and on the playground. There could probably be a list of the 100 Bes, but this will get things started with your discussion.How do you talk to your children about special needs?\n\nGillan Marchenko\nwww.gillianmarchenko.com<\/a>\n

      How Do You Encourage Friendships with Kids Who Have Special Needs?<\/h3>\nI love the 5 Friendship Bes. How about you? How do you encourage your typical kids and other children to become friends with your child with special needs? What would you add to Gillian's list? Like Gillian said, the list of Friendship Bes could reach 100. How about we give it a try in the comment box? And when you have the chance, surf over to Gillian's website,\u00a0www.gillianmarchenko.com<\/a>, to find out more about her adventures in parenting.\n\nFinallly, thanks to all who entered to win a copy of the Surviving to Thriving<\/em> Special Needs Ministry DVD<\/a> reviewed at Different Dream on August 16. The winner is Lea Duckstad who entered because her growing church is starting a special needs ministry called Embrace. Congratulations, Lea, and best wishes as your church begins this new ministry!\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[452,2709,3705,3706],"class_list":["post-30752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-friendship","tag-gillian-marchenko","tag-guest-blogger","tag-teaching-compassion"],"yoast_head":"\nFriendship's 5 Bes for Befriending Kids with Special Needs<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Initiating friendships with kids with special needs is a skill that must be taught. 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