{"id":2792,"date":"2008-02-12T20:33:33","date_gmt":"2008-02-12T20:33:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolene-test.com.bishopcompsol.com\/?p=2792"},"modified":"2008-02-12T20:33:33","modified_gmt":"2008-02-12T20:33:33","slug":"asparagus-dilemma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/asparagus-dilemma\/","title":{"rendered":"Asparagus Dilemma"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Let me be perfectly clear about today\u2019s picture, which is not a picture of last night\u2019s snowfall. It is a picture of my asparagus patch. If you can\u2019t locate the patch, look at the spruce tree on the left. Move your eyes to the low-hanging branch to the right of that tree. Are you there? Good. Now walk past the branch about three feet and dig through the snow (which I am not going to mention because I promised not to complain about winter any more) until you hit frozen ground. That\u2019s my asparagus patch.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in the horns of an asparagus dilemma today. You see, I write the Food Bites column for Facets<\/a> an area women\u2019s magazine. This year, each column features ingredients produced locally. Because of printer deadlines, I am now working on the April recipe, which includes asparagus. And that\u2019s the dilemma. I can not cook and photograph fresh, local asparagus in February. Though I am a basically honest person, to meet the deadline I am forced to perpetrate a hoax upon the readers of the magazine. I have to use asparagus that comes from distant lands that don\u2019t have long Iowa winters like the ones I don\u2019t complain about.<\/p>\n

But wait, there\u2019s more. The truth of the matter is that I hate asparagus. Hate really isn\u2019t a strong enough word but it\u2019s impolite, even on my own blog, to say that the smell of the stuff is enough to make me hurl. So I won\u2019t mention that, just like I\u2019m not mentioning the fact that we have too much snow and winter has gone on far too long, in my opinion. Anyway, hating asparagus makes it hard to rave about its delicious flavor. In fact, it makes me lie.<\/p>\n

So there you have it. What seems like a perfectly innocent recipe column has turned me into a culinary hoaxer and a liar. In one fell swoop, I\u2019ve gone from green vegetables to yellow journalism.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve fallen pretty low, and in an attempt to regain a shred of dignity I\u2019ve decided to make this solemn vow. Though I may occasionally lie about vegetables, I will not complain about winter. No matter how cold it gets, no matter how much more snow falls, no matter how long it takes for spring to come, this blog will never become a forum for my personal anti-winter rants.<\/p>\n

I promise.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let me be perfectly clear about today\u2019s picture, which is not a picture of last night\u2019s snowfall. It is a picture of my asparagus patch. If you can\u2019t locate the patch, look at the spruce tree on the left. Move your eyes to the low-hanging branch to the right of that tree. Are you there? 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