{"id":26342,"date":"2017-06-01T00:05:36","date_gmt":"2017-06-01T05:05:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=26342"},"modified":"2017-06-01T00:05:36","modified_gmt":"2017-06-01T05:05:36","slug":"caregiver-needs-care-admit-need-tangible-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/caregiver-needs-care-admit-need-tangible-help\/","title":{"rendered":"When the Caregiver Needs Care: How To Admit You Need Tangible Help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

What happens when the caregiver needs care? Guest blogger Kimberly Drew asks and answers that question in a post that’s hitting close to home as she and her husband care for two daughters with special needs.<\/em><\/p>\n

When the Caregiver Needs Care:
How To Admit You Need Tangible Help<\/h4>\n

Our church family and friends often ask if there is anything that they can do to help us. When I\u2019m doing well physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I usually ask friends to pray for the current physical needs of our girls. For Ellie, that she will eat better, be able to sit up, and for a full brain healing. For Abbey that we can make progress on communication, and for specific deformities on her toes and hands that she\u2019s dealing with right now.<\/p>\n

Easy right? Everyone can pray!<\/p>\n

Let us storm the gates of heaven with our prayers for these girls. I do<\/strong> believe in the power of unceasing prayer.<\/p>\n

But right now, I am suffering with a sciatica problem. I\u2019m struggling physically and am realizing how difficult taking care of things is becoming for me. Please know that for me to ask for help is extremely difficult\u2026and doesn\u2019t feel right. While I would do anything for a friend in need, that doesn\u2019t make it easier to be<\/em><\/strong> the friend in need. Most parents of children with special needs don\u2019t want to bother others with their problems because they feel they will be a burden or scare away friends.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019ve being thinking of ways to ask for help more specifically. These ideas for when the caregivers need care are somewhat specific to our family. But they are tangible things that can really make a difference, and can be adapted for anyone.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I would love to have a small, personally chosen team of four families<\/em> who are trained to do everything the girls need in an average day. This requires some planning on my part, reaching out to the circle of people I trust the most, and praying they are willing to be \u201con call\u201d anytime we need help.<\/li>\n
  2. Sometimes I need need help around the house, inside or out.<\/em> It hurts to bend, twist, push, or lift right now…which makes deep cleaning or weeding a struggle. Caregivers not struggling physically have times when the schedule of doctors and medical things overtakes life, and the house starts to fall apart. Friends and family can offer to clean. Or they can pay someone who is in need of extra money to clean. Let the caregiver know this is an open offer for when they need it. Maybe provide a homemade coupon book to use for the number of cleanings you are offering.<\/li>\n
  3. Meals are always welcome.<\/em> Appointments go haywire, a child has an off day and requires constant attention, or exhaustion finally catches up with a person. Having a frozen meal available on a busy day is such a relief! Don\u2019t wait for caregivers to ask for a meal. Just show up with a frozen one once in a while. Make it simple by doubling easy recipes, or plan regular meals for a family with serious needs.<\/li>\n
  4. Point people to medical or therapy equipment that would be helpful.<\/em> Our family is going on sabbatical this summer, and I can\u2019t take our therapist. So some of the therapy tools we use regularly would be helpful. I\u2019ve started a wish list on Amazon, and you could do the same thing.<\/li>\n
  5. Ask for diaper or formula donations.<\/em> We spend about $120 a month on diapers\u2013not covered through insurance\u2013so I could ask for a pack of diapers. One can of Ellie’s special formula is about $18 and lasts 3.5 days. Not an exciting way to support us, but very helpful!<\/li>\n
  6. Give money.<\/em> Asking for money feels very wrong, so I suggest this with a cringing of my spirit. However, lots of families in situations like ours have financial need. Medical bills are generally in the thousands out of pocket expenses every year. When we had just Abbey, we spent between $5,000 to $10,000 a year out of pocket. Sometimes I skip specialist visits and dental work because the co-pay isn’t in the budget. If you want to give anonymously to a family, contact a mutual friend or church office to arrange it.<\/li>\n
  7. Send an encouraging note.<\/em> I love these and read them over and over. I stick them in books as bookmarks, on mirrors, and by my kitchen sink. Sometimes a kind word can get me through a rough day.<\/li>\n
  8. Dream big when asking for help.<\/em> If I\u2019m dreaming big, a handicapped bathroom addition to our downstairs would be amazing. If we asked, perhaps a friend would open a donation account, and when the funds are there we could start. If your family were dreaming big, what would you ask for? A vacation? Respite care so you could go away with your spouse? A home repair? A service pet for your child? Anything works\u2013 it\u2019s your dream!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I adamantly detest asking for help. Even so, these eight tangible ways can help when the caregiver needs care in our family or in a family you know. Such acts of love will not go unnoticed by the families you help wherever you live.<\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kimberly-Drew.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly\u2019s\u00a0 desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website,\u00a0<\/span>Promises and Perspective<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

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    When the caregiver needs care, how can friends and family help? Kimberly Drew offers 8 tangible ways to make a difference in the lives of caregiving families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26346,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"When\n\nWhat happens when the caregiver needs care? Guest blogger Kimberly Drew asks and answers that question in a post that's hitting close to home as she and her husband care for two daughters with special needs.<\/em>\n

    When the Caregiver Needs Care:\nHow To Admit You Need Tangible Help<\/h4>\nOur church family and friends often ask if there is anything that they can do to help us. When I\u2019m doing well physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I usually ask friends to pray for the current physical needs of our girls. For Ellie, that she will eat better, be able to sit up, and for a full brain healing. For Abbey that we can make progress on communication, and for specific deformities on her toes and hands that she\u2019s dealing with right now.\n\nEasy right? Everyone can pray!\n\nLet us storm the gates of heaven with our prayers for these girls. I do<\/strong> believe in the power of unceasing prayer.\n\nBut right now, I am suffering with a sciatica problem. I\u2019m struggling physically and am realizing how difficult taking care of things is becoming for me. Please know that for me to ask for help is extremely difficult\u2026and doesn\u2019t feel right. While I would do anything for a friend in need, that doesn\u2019t make it easier to be<\/em><\/strong> the friend in need. Most parents of children with special needs don\u2019t want to bother others with their problems because they feel they will be a burden or scare away friends.\n\nSo I\u2019ve being thinking of ways to ask for help more specifically. These ideas for when the caregivers need care are somewhat specific to our family. But they are tangible things that can really make a difference, and can be adapted for anyone.\n
      \n \t
    1. I would love to have a small, personally chosen team of four families<\/em> who are trained to do everything the girls need in an average day. This requires some planning on my part, reaching out to the circle of people I trust the most, and praying they are willing to be \u201con call\u201d anytime we need help.<\/li>\n \t
    2. Sometimes I need need help around the house, inside or out.<\/em> It hurts to bend, twist, push, or lift right now...which makes deep cleaning or weeding a struggle. Caregivers not struggling physically have times when the schedule of doctors and medical things overtakes life, and the house starts to fall apart. Friends and family can offer to clean. Or they can pay someone who is in need of extra money to clean. Let the caregiver know this is an open offer for when they need it. Maybe provide a homemade coupon book to use for the number of cleanings you are offering.<\/li>\n \t
    3. Meals are always welcome.<\/em> Appointments go haywire, a child has an off day and requires constant attention, or exhaustion finally catches up with a person. Having a frozen meal available on a busy day is such a relief! Don\u2019t wait for caregivers to ask for a meal. Just show up with a frozen one once in a while. Make it simple by doubling easy recipes, or plan regular meals for a family with serious needs.<\/li>\n \t
    4. Point people to medical or therapy equipment that would be helpful.<\/em> Our family is going on sabbatical this summer, and I can\u2019t take our therapist. So some of the therapy tools we use regularly would be helpful. I\u2019ve started a wish list on Amazon, and you could do the same thing.<\/li>\n \t
    5. Ask for diaper or formula donations.<\/em> We spend about $120 a month on diapers\u2013not covered through insurance\u2013so I could ask for a pack of diapers. One can of Ellie's special formula is about $18 and lasts 3.5 days. Not an exciting way to support us, but very helpful!<\/li>\n \t
    6. Give money.<\/em> Asking for money feels very wrong, so I suggest this with a cringing of my spirit. However, lots of families in situations like ours have financial need. Medical bills are generally in the thousands out of pocket expenses every year. When we had just Abbey, we spent between $5,000 to $10,000 a year out of pocket. Sometimes I skip specialist visits and dental work because the co-pay isn't in the budget. If you want to give anonymously to a family, contact a mutual friend or church office to arrange it.<\/li>\n \t
    7. Send an encouraging note.<\/em> I love these and read them over and over. I stick them in books as bookmarks, on mirrors, and by my kitchen sink. Sometimes a kind word can get me through a rough day.<\/li>\n \t
    8. Dream big when asking for help.<\/em> If I\u2019m dreaming big, a handicapped bathroom addition to our downstairs would be amazing. If we asked, perhaps a friend would open a donation account, and when the funds are there we could start. If your family were dreaming big, what would you ask for? A vacation? Respite care so you could go away with your spouse? A home repair? A service pet for your child? Anything works\u2013 it\u2019s your dream!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\nI adamantly detest asking for help. Even so, these eight tangible ways can help when the caregiver needs care in our family or in a family you know. Such acts of love will not go unnoticed by the families you help wherever you live.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>\n\nSave<\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[4037,3791],"class_list":["post-26342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-caregiving-stress","tag-kimberly-drew"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen the Caregiver Needs Care: How To Admit You Need Tangible Help - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When the caregiver needs care, how can friends & family help? 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