{"id":26225,"date":"2017-05-17T00:05:36","date_gmt":"2017-05-17T05:05:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=26225"},"modified":"2017-05-17T00:05:36","modified_gmt":"2017-05-17T05:05:36","slug":"emotional-toll-iep-meetings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/emotional-toll-iep-meetings\/","title":{"rendered":"The Emotional Toll of IEP Meetings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

The emotional toll of IEP meetings<\/strong><\/a> is real to parents. Educator Kimberly Drew learned that after her daughter with special needs began school. Over the years she’s learned several strategies to deal with the emotional toll of IEP meetings<\/strong><\/a>, and she shares them in this post.<\/em><\/p>\n

Having been in an IEP meeting<\/strong><\/a> as an educator before I had our daughter with special needs, I can tell you that I cared deeply about my student. I went into that meeting prepared and ready to collaborate with the team and parents on how we could best help our student with special needs. I left feeling fantastic about the plan we had in place. It never occurred to me that the parents might have felt differently, that they left feeling exhausted, concerned, and maybe even sad.<\/p>\n

I understand now what it feels like to sit on the other side of the table. As a parent, I have left IEP meetings feeling all those emotions at one time or another. I would like to give you some tips on how to handle the emotional toll of IEP meetings.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Most teachers do not get into the field of special education for the money. (What money!?) They do it because they care about these kids and because they want to make a difference in their lives. Go into your meeting knowing that teachers are for your child, not against them or you.<\/strong><\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. It is the responsibility of each team member to come to the table with a report. They’ve spent a lot of time observing your child in an educational setting very different than a home or family environment. While your child might be able to hold it together at home, school challenges their minds both educationally and socially. The report makes it feel like your child has been under a microscope, and to some extent this is true. However, its details are meant to form a complete picture of your child\u2019s strengths and weaknesses to gauge where they need the most help and what the team can do about it. Try not to listen on the defensive, but remember that you are part of the team.<\/strong> Come with your own notes and thoughts to present, and embrace that you are all working toward the same goal.<\/li>\n
  3. As the meeting goes on, it is normal to feel discouraged and tired. It is very taxing to listen to four or more people (six at our last meeting) talk about your child in detail. Try to plan ahead for the fatigue that comes after these meetings.<\/strong> I usually have a plan for dinner that includes either a crock pot or eating out! I also try to come home with nothing else on the planner. It\u2019s important to be able to crash and recover.<\/li>\n
  4. Understand that it\u2019s okay to be sad. It\u2019s very hard to hear how your child is struggling. At our last meeting, our daughter was transitioning to a new school. I had to answer the questions about whether or not our daughter could read. The answer was no<\/em>. Can she recognize letters? A few.<\/em> Can she count? No.<\/em> Does she now any numbers? Only one to three.<\/em> Then we all sat there staring at each other for a few awkward moments. I felt my heart sink. I was sad. It was okay to be sad. I kept the tears in until I got home and then gave myself a moment to let them out.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. If you leave the meeting feeling unsure if everything was covered or if you forgot things, you can e-mail the team afterwards. You have time to review the IEP once it\u2019s printed and nothing is set in stone without your signature.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Always remember that you are all doing your best to help your child reach their fullest potential. Be grateful for a team who wants to help your child, let yourself grieve if you feel the sadness rising up again, and look for the positives in the meeting and try to focus on those.<\/p>\n

    How do you deal with the emotional toll of IEP meetings? Leave your comments below!<\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kimberly-Drew.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.10.5″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding=”||0px|||” title_text=”Kimberly Drew” sticky_enabled=”0″]

    Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly\u2019s\u00a0 desire to write. In addition to being a stay at home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website,\u00a0<\/span>Promises and Perspective<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

    Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

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    The emotional toll of an IEP meeting is not to be discounted. Guest blogger Kimberly Drew shares 5 strategies she uses to deal with the aftermath of IEP meetings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"The\n\nThe emotional toll of IEP meetings<\/strong><\/a> is real to parents. Educator Kimberly Drew learned that after her daughter with special needs began school. Over the years she's learned several strategies to deal with the emotional toll of IEP meetings<\/strong><\/a>, and she shares them in this post.<\/em>\n\nHaving been in an IEP meeting<\/strong><\/a> as an educator before I had our daughter with special needs, I can tell you that I cared deeply about my student. I went into that meeting prepared and ready to collaborate with the team and parents on how we could best help our student with special needs. I left feeling fantastic about the plan we had in place. It never occurred to me that the parents might have felt differently, that they left feeling exhausted, concerned, and maybe even sad.\n\nI understand now what it feels like to sit on the other side of the table. As a parent, I have left IEP meetings feeling all those emotions at one time or another. I would like to give you some tips on how to handle the emotional toll of IEP meetings.\n

      \n \t
    1. Most teachers do not get into the field of special education for the money. (What money!?) They do it because they care about these kids and because they want to make a difference in their lives. Go into your meeting knowing that teachers are for your child, not against them or you.<\/strong><\/li>\n \t
    2. It is the responsibility of each team member to come to the table with a report. They've spent a lot of time observing your child in an educational setting very different than a home or family environment. While your child might be able to hold it together at home, school challenges their minds both educationally and socially. The report makes it feel like your child has been under a microscope, and to some extent this is true. However, its details are meant to form a complete picture of your child\u2019s strengths and weaknesses to gauge where they need the most help and what the team can do about it. Try not to listen on the defensive, but remember that you are part of the team.<\/strong> Come with your own notes and thoughts to present, and embrace that you are all working toward the same goal.<\/li>\n \t
    3. As the meeting goes on, it is normal to feel discouraged and tired. It is very taxing to listen to four or more people (six at our last meeting) talk about your child in detail. Try to plan ahead for the fatigue that comes after these meetings.<\/strong> I usually have a plan for dinner that includes either a crock pot or eating out! I also try to come home with nothing else on the planner. It\u2019s important to be able to crash and recover.<\/li>\n \t
    4. Understand that it\u2019s okay to be sad. It\u2019s very hard to hear how your child is struggling. At our last meeting, our daughter was transitioning to a new school. I had to answer the questions about whether or not our daughter could read. The answer was no<\/em>. Can she recognize letters? A few.<\/em> Can she count? No.<\/em> Does she now any numbers? Only one to three.<\/em> Then we all sat there staring at each other for a few awkward moments. I felt my heart sink. I was sad. It was okay to be sad. I kept the tears in until I got home and then gave myself a moment to let them out.<\/strong><\/li>\n \t
    5. If you leave the meeting feeling unsure if everything was covered or if you forgot things, you can e-mail the team afterwards. You have time to review the IEP once it\u2019s printed and nothing is set in stone without your signature.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\nAlways remember that you are all doing your best to help your child reach their fullest potential. Be grateful for a team who wants to help your child, let yourself grieve if you feel the sadness rising up again, and look for the positives in the meeting and try to focus on those.\n\nHow do you deal with the emotional toll of IEP meetings? Leave your comments below!\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3606,3561],"tags":[1783,4036,1035],"class_list":["post-26225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-schooleducation","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-education","tag-individualized-educational-plan","tag-school"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Emotional Toll of IEP Meetings - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The emotional toll of an IEP meeting isn't to be discounted. 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