{"id":25465,"date":"2017-02-27T00:05:29","date_gmt":"2017-02-27T06:05:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/?p=25465"},"modified":"2017-02-27T00:05:29","modified_gmt":"2017-02-27T06:05:29","slug":"ten-strategies-living-cheek-jowl-disability","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/ten-strategies-living-cheek-jowl-disability\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Strategies for Living Cheek by Jowl with Disability"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.4″ hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

These days, we’re living cheek by jowl at our house.<\/p>\n

Four adults.
One very, very active toddler.
One dog.
In the dead of winter.
For six weeks.<\/p>\n

We’re all crammed together in the first floor of a ranch house with less than half the square footage of our previous home. At this point, all four adults are counting the days (and sometimes the hours) until the basement apartment remodel is completed, so one very active toddler and his two parents, and one dog can occupy their new digs and enjoy the great outdoors come spring.<\/p>\n

God’s granted me some “aha” moments during our cheek by jowl winter. The most surprising has been how similar this experience is to parenting a child with special needs. In both circumstances, relationships with the people you love most can begin to feel too close.<\/p>\n

Too intense.
Too fraught with emotion.
Too fragile.
Too hard to maintain.<\/p>\n

But without those relationships, life becomes empty.<\/p>\n

Purposeless.
Disconnected.
Hopeless.
Isolated.<\/p>\n

That’s a dangerous state for anyone, but especially for parents of kids with disabilities special needs. Relationships are what sustain and encourage us, after all. Maintaining relationships is crucial, and in this cheek-by-jowl winter I’ve resurrected and implemented ten strategies I first learned when our son’s special needs felt too close and intense.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Double check communications.<\/strong> Ask for and give clarification frequently rather than assuming you understood what someone said or that they understood what you said. Provide gentle reminders and ask others to remind you so things don’t fall through the cracks. My husband appreciates sticky note reminders placed where he can see and take them with him to work in the morning. I appreciate email reminders from family and friends about appointments or promises made to them.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    To read the rest of this post, go to Key Ministry’s Special Needs Parenting blog.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3JfcHJvZmlsZV9waWN0dXJlIiwic2V0dGluZ3MiOnt9fQ==@” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ _dynamic_attributes=”image,title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off”]

    Jolene Philo is the author of the\u00a0Different Dream\u00a0series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She\u2019s also the creator and host of the\u00a0Different Dream website.\u00a0Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages\u00ae for Parents Raising\u00a0Children with Disabilities<\/a>, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and\u00a0at Amazon.<\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false”]

    Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″]

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    Living cheek by jowl with disability is surprising similar to living in cramped quarters with the rellies. These 10 strategies can help in both situations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25468,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\"Living\n\nThese days, we're living cheek by jowl at our house.\n\nFour adults.\nOne very, very active toddler.\nOne dog.\nIn the dead of winter.\nFor six weeks.\n\nWe're all crammed together in the first floor of a ranch house with less than half the square footage of our previous home. At this point, all four adults are counting the days (and sometimes the hours) until the basement apartment remodel is completed, so one very active toddler and his two parents, and one dog can occupy their new digs and enjoy the great outdoors come spring.\n\nGod's granted me some \"aha\" moments during our cheek by jowl winter. The most surprising has been how similar this experience is to parenting a child with special needs. In both circumstances, relationships with the people you love most can begin to feel too close.\n\nToo intense.\nToo fraught with emotion.\nToo fragile.\nToo hard to maintain.\n\nBut without those relationships, life becomes empty.\n\nPurposeless.\nDisconnected.\nHopeless.\nIsolated.\n\nThat's a dangerous state for anyone, but especially for parents of kids with disabilities special needs. Relationships are what sustain and encourage us, after all. Maintaining relationships is crucial, and in this cheek-by-jowl winter I've resurrected and implemented ten strategies I first learned when our son's special needs felt too close and intense.\n

      \n \t
    1. Double check communications.<\/strong> Ask for and give clarification frequently rather than assuming you understood what someone said or that they understood what you said. Provide gentle reminders and ask others to remind you so things don't fall through the cracks. My husband appreciates sticky note reminders placed where he can see and take them with him to work in the morning. I appreciate email reminders from family and friends about appointments or promises made to them.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\nTo read the rest of this post, go to Key Ministry's Special Needs Parenting blog.<\/a>\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>\n\nSave<\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[4001,4002,4003],"class_list":["post-25465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-advice","tag-crowded","tag-how-to-cope"],"yoast_head":"\nTen Strategies for Living Cheek by Jowl with Disability - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Living cheek by jowl with disability is surprising similar to living in cramped quarters with the rellies. 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