I never imagined ending up in the suburbs near Dallas facilitating medical care for three family members with various medical diagnoses.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
Special indeed, this special needs lifestyle.\u00a0 Am I happy?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Some days I am a stressed-out wreck.
Some days it’s all I can do to balance it all\u2013and forget about “keeping it together.” <\/b><\/div>\n
But I would not trade this journey for all the happiness in the world, because this often chaotic life is what teaches me about God’s plan for my wellness and healing.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
There’s been a lot of buzz on social media regarding whether God wants us to be happy or not. My go to quip is, God wants us to be whole, not happy.<\/em> On a deeper level, I would add that God created us for fellowship with him. Happiness cannot complete us\u2013only God can. Chances are, we are going to face a lot of days where we are not happy\u2013and it’s imperative to know Who to run to in the chaos and<\/i> in the calm.<\/p>\n Recently I’ve found myself frustrated, anxious, and generally under a lot of pressure. Parents of typical kids may breathe a sigh of relief when they send their kiddos back to school.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n This year I am training a new school nurse who has experience and knowledge, but has been distracted by the learning curve and her case load. This past week has been fraught with challenges\u2013a veritable emotional minefield.<\/p>\n I felt angry when the new nurse did not focus on our (multiple) conversations long enough to answer her own questions. I felt a lot of emotions this week, and none of them have been happiness.<\/b><\/p>\n Anger, yes. As each obstacle has been prayed over and then overcome, I’ve known God’s guidance, provision, and goodness in the midst of my struggling. I’ve been reminded to take care of me <\/i>to offset the stress: to exercise (movement releases stress) and pray, pour out- another way to relieve stress.<\/p>\n I’ve found comfort in placing everything that is out of my control in the hands of the One who can change others’ hearts, and heal my own<\/b>.<\/p>\n Release of pent up emotions has been key, and I’ve found healing as I get out into the green spaces I love to walk and pray, run, and release. I’ve also been reminded to rest. Creating new care plans and working with multiple teachers for each of my sons (16 teachers, not including the Counselors and nurses), as well as managing the many medical appointments has left me wiped out physically and emotionally. I am learning to take time to recover in spirit, soul, and body.<\/p>\n To be still<\/em>. Am I happy at this very moment? No. But I am content.<\/i><\/p>\n Because<\/strong> peace in heart, soul, and body resonates long after momentary happiness has passed. <\/b><\/p>\n Too blessed to be stressed? Not so much.<\/p>\n While I appreciate the reminder of perspective, sometimes I am stressed, regardless of perceived blessing. At the end of the day\u2013and in the middle, and the early morning too\u2013the true blessing comes as I connect with God.<\/p>\n Often, He works not to remove the stressors, but rather to soothe me in the midst of them, granting<\/b> wisdom to walk through the battle connected with his love, and gentle strength. <\/b><\/p>\n There is courage in connectivity to the One who carries and <\/i>equips.<\/p>\n For me, the blessing is God Himself. A precious Presence in my life, this Voice leading, guiding, calming me when medical chaos- or life in general- would otherwise overwhelm me. <\/b>It’s when I get to a quiet place and be still that I recognize He is the blessing\u2013<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n whether I am happy or not, There is only One who is<\/em> the gift in my every moment. The One who holds me in the quiet places, and in the storms too. I am at peace in God alone.<\/p>\n Happy?<\/strong><\/p>\n Not recently, no. But joy comes as I connect to the One who is my Source\u2013the One who moves me to greater wellness whether it’s enjoyable or not.<\/p>\n I used to want to be happy, and while I don’t object to happiness\u2013I still prefer it to those other emotions\u2013at the end of the day I have to confess I’d rather be whole.<\/p>\n What’s your story? Have you found special needs happiness or are you content with wholeness? How did you find it? Leave a comment.<\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Rebekah-Benimoff.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.10.5″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Rebekah Benimoff is the wife of a husband with PTSD and the mother of two young men, both of whom grew up with medical and special needs. She blogs at <\/span>In the Chaos\u2026. and In the Calm (justmemama.blogspot.com)<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff is no longer chasing after special needs happiness. She’s found something much better: wholeness in Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10715,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"[caption id=\"attachment_10715\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"500\"]
<\/i>I felt frustrated when she couldn’t find the supplies I had brought to school for his care (important items like insulin and snacks).
<\/i>I felt out of the loop and anxious when she called the emergency line at the diabetes clinic each time my son’s blood glucose level was out of range- instead of contacting me or simply following the care plan<\/i>.
I felt determined when I called the nurse’s supervisor, <\/i>relieved <\/b>when the supervisor listened to my concerns, and scheduled a meeting the next day to resolve the issues.<\/p>\n
Comfort, yes.
Relief, Yes, yes, YES!<\/i><\/p>\n
To rest and pray.
To release and find rest. <\/b><\/p>\n
whether life is what I want or not,
whether a storm is raging or not.<\/p>\nSpecial Needs Happiness or Wholeness for You?<\/h3>\n
Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>\n
Related Posts<\/h1>\n
![\"Guest](\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/happiness.jpg\")
<\/a> Photo Credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/a>[\/caption]\n\nSpecial needs happiness is an elusive find for parents. Guest blogger Rebekah Benimoff,<\/a> whose long ago desire was a happy life, never found the dream of her youth. But, as she shares in this post, she found wholeness instead.<\/em>\nSpecial Needs Happiness, Or Wholeness?<\/h3>\n
Special Needs Happiness or Wholeness for You?<\/h3>\nWhat's your story? Have you found special needs happiness or are you content with wholeness? How did you find it? Leave a comment.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3615,3583],"tags":[3705,2225,1927,3925],"class_list":["post-10714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-encouragement","category-spiritual-support","tag-guest-blogger","tag-happiness","tag-rebekah-benimoff","tag-wholeness"],"yoast_head":"\n