Prom Dream Comes True for Kids with Special Needs<\/h3>\n
Debbie and I became friends through our shared journey of caring for children with disabilities. My daughter Alisha and her son Cory had been placed in a contained special education room smack in the middle of a giant general education high school. The school\u2019s student council generously offered Alisha and Cory complimentary tickets to the prom. Debbie called early in the spring to discuss it.<\/p>\n
\u201cStacey, have you considered the offer the school gave us to take the kids to prom? I thought Cory could take Alisha as his date.\u201d She giggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I really hadn\u2019t thought about it. That\u2019s a cute idea but I\u2019m not sure Alisha will enjoy it, crowds don\u2019t appeal to her. Let me think on it and call you back.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to give an answer. I didn\u2019t want to say what I really thought.<\/p>\n
Sighing as I hung up, I reflected on how hard I had tried for nearly twenty years to prove my daughter with severe disabilities could<\/strong> participate in typical milestones. The energy I had invested had dried up long ago. Fatigue replaced determination and fatigue constantly reminded me my eighteen year old daughter still loved the big purple dinosaur on T.V. and gazing at rattles strapped to her baby-sized wrists. Did I really want to exert energy to include Alisha in another \u201ctypical\u201d milestone she will most likely not enjoy or appreciate?<\/em><\/p>\n Pain and shame entered my heart. The strenuous details involved to get her ready for such a big event hardly seemed worth what Alisha would get out of it. Trying on dresses in stores would be impossible with lifting her dead weight in and out of her wheelchair. I would have to buy the dresses and bring them home. Once I got them home there would be the battle of dressing her pretzel-like arms tightened up from years of spasticity and contractures. Did I want to labor for something I suspected would be a letdown?<\/em><\/p>\n I envisioned bringing her to the prom. I thought about the dinner being served and how she would be the only one eating her food through a feeding tube. I pictured the dance floor with teens jumping and spinning. I thought about how often Alisha dislikes large crowds and hangs her head down to cope. Her severe hearing loss has always dictated how long we could linger in noisy places. I remembered a time when I worked harder to make our world “normal.” Why couldn\u2019t I recapture the fire I once had?<\/em><\/p>\n Then my thoughts drifted to Cory and Debbie. If AIisha didn\u2019t go to prom neither would Cory. I didn\u2019t think Alisha would enjoy the brash music and glitzy crowd, but I knew Cory would<\/strong>. He loved music and dancing and was known for standing up in front of his church, moving freely to the worship songs. He also loved eating. What would it mean to Debbie and Cory to attend prom?<\/em><\/p>\n What would be the outcome if I accepted any<\/strong> outcome and surrendered my expectations?<\/em><\/p>\n I called Debbie.<\/p>\n \u201cDebbie, let\u2019s do this,\u201d I said half-heartedly.<\/p>\n Once I told friends Alisha was going to prom, prom dresses to borrow poured in. I wouldn\u2019t have to make the trip shopping to find one. There were about twenty beautiful dresses. One by one the dresses seemed to say \u201cGive this up\u201d because not one of them fit until we got to dress twenty. I tiredly gazed at Alisha\u2019s radiance. She looked into my eyes and busted out with a boisterous, unrefined laugh. \u201cThis moment\u201d I thought, is exactly why for years I\u2019ve spent tireless energy for Alisha to be typical. I smashed my lips into her grinning face and said, \u201cI love you girly!\u201d<\/p>\n A few weeks before the date night would take place we had a big birthday bash at our neighborhood club house to celebrate Alisha turning eighteen. Although I loved seeing all of our family and friends, Alisha went into her own world at the party. It seemed too much for her. It seemed too much for me. I felt letdown as we pulled into our driveway after the party but the sight of giant pink flamingos on our lawn brightened my day. The flamingos held up words: Alisha, will you go to prom with me? Love Cory<\/em><\/p>\n The surprise of finding a typical invitation to prom for our daughter temporarily made it seem like she could<\/strong> be a typical eighteen-year-old. Her birthday blast ended up being one more time where my exertion exceeded expectations but maybe<\/em> attending prom would be different.<\/p>\n The day arrived a couple weeks later. I primped Alisha with sparkles on her face and nails. I kept telling her she was a princess going to the ball. We left for our prom photo shoot at a nearby church.<\/p>\n The flower pinning ritual…<\/p>\n We arrived at the banquet center. It looked like Cinderella\u2019s ball! Cory ate his dinner scooping uneaten rolls off his neighbor\u2019s plate and Alisha watched with delight while she ate her tube feed.<\/p>\n Once we got onto the dance floor I prepared myself for her glee to transform into gloom, instead I was again reminded of why I\u2019ve always worked so hard.<\/p>\n Cory did his dance moves and Alisha tore up the floor in her wheel chair with swivels and spins, laughter escaping All the effort in the world is worth nights like prom!<\/p>\n Have you struggled with tiredness and fulfilling your own dreams rather than your child’s dreams as Stacey did? Have you helped your children with special needs realized some unexpected dreams? We’d love to hear about them if you’d like to leave a comment.<\/a><\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/DSC01721-1.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.10.5″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” title_text=”Stacey Lahoi” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n Stacey Laho lives in Michigan with her endlessly supportive husband, Jeff and their three children; Alisha, Hannah and Caleb. When not attending to the needs of her gang, she runs as far as her body will go, reads anything from the Bible to politics, practices writing, enjoys growing things in her garden and stopping to grab a Chai Tea, and conversation with a friend. She has experienced the journey of loss through the death of her first born son, Kodey, when he died at the age of eleven from a virus that attacked his heart. She also lives with the ever-changing path of caring for her daughter, Alisha, who has been severely multiply impaired since birth when a virus (Cytomegalovirus<\/a>) attacked her brain in utero. Watching two of her children suffer from viruses has led her to explore her faith in her Savior Jesus and find His comfort. She desires to write to connect with others longing to make sense of the pain and find hope when dreams are busted and souls are battered. She writes to heal.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Too often teens with special needs have to adjust their dreams. Here’s the story of one young women and how her mom helped her prom dream come true.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10574,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" The flower pinning ritual...<\/p>\n We arrived at the banquet center. It looked like Cinderella\u2019s ball! Cory ate his dinner scooping uneaten rolls off his neighbor\u2019s plate and Alisha watched with delight while she ate her tube feed.<\/p>\n Once we got onto the dance floor I prepared myself for her glee to transform into gloom, instead I was again reminded of why I\u2019ve always worked so hard.<\/p>\n Cory did his dance moves and Alisha tore up the floor in her wheel chair with swivels and spins, laughter escaping\nWhat I thought was going to be one more laborious attempt to have my daughter be typical ended different than what I imagined. Really that\u2019s how it usually has gone. Nothing I have ever done had a predictable outcome. There have been times where Alisha closed herself off from her surroundings causing a fun planned event to end abruptly but then<\/strong> there have been nights like this one. A night I could have never imagined filled with joy and blessing.<\/p>\n All the effort in the world is worth nights like prom!<\/p>\n\n Have you struggled with tiredness and fulfilling your own dreams rather than your child's dreams as Stacey did? Have you helped your children with special needs realized some unexpected dreams? We'd love to hear about them if you'd like to leave a comment.<\/p>\n Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3567,3561],"tags":[3867,3904,3905],"class_list":["post-10573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-how-tos","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-cytomegalovirus","tag-prom","tag-stacey-laho"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"Prom](\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_0248.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n
What I thought was going to be one more laborious attempt to have my daughter be typical ended different than what I imagined. Really that\u2019s how it usually has gone. Nothing I have ever done had a predictable outcome. There have been times where Alisha closed herself off from her surroundings causing a fun planned event to end abruptly but then<\/strong> there have been nights like this one. A night I could have never imagined filled with joy and blessing.<\/p>\nWhat Dreams Does Your Child Have?<\/h3>\n
Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>\n
Related Posts<\/h1>\n
<\/a>\n\nAs parents of kids with special needs, we've all had to accept different dreams for our children. But what about our children? What about the dreams they have for themselves? Guest blogger Stacey Laho is here with the story of her daughter's prom dream and how they came true.<\/em>\nProm Dream Comes True for Kids with Special Needs<\/h3>\nDebbie and I became friends through our shared journey of caring for children with disabilities. My daughter Alisha and her son Cory had been placed in a contained special education room smack in the middle of a giant general education high school. The school\u2019s student council generously offered Alisha and Cory complimentary tickets to the prom. Debbie called early in the spring to discuss it.\n\n\u201cStacey, have you considered the offer the school gave us to take the kids to prom? I thought Cory could take Alisha as his date.\u201d She giggled.\n\n\u201cYou know I really hadn\u2019t thought about it. That\u2019s a cute idea but I\u2019m not sure Alisha will enjoy it, crowds don\u2019t appeal to her. Let me think on it and call you back.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to give an answer. I didn\u2019t want to say what I really thought.\n\nSighing as I hung up, I reflected on how hard I had tried for nearly twenty years to prove my daughter with severe disabilities could<\/strong> participate in typical milestones. The energy I had invested had dried up long ago. Fatigue replaced determination and fatigue constantly reminded me my eighteen year old daughter still loved the big purple dinosaur on T.V. and gazing at rattles strapped to her baby-sized wrists. Did I really want to exert energy to include Alisha in another \u201ctypical\u201d milestone she will most likely not enjoy or appreciate?<\/em>\n\nPain and shame entered my heart. The strenuous details involved to get her ready for such a big event hardly seemed worth what Alisha would get out of it. Trying on dresses in stores would be impossible with lifting her dead weight in and out of her wheelchair. I would have to buy the dresses and bring them home. Once I got them home there would be the battle of dressing her pretzel-like arms tightened up from years of spasticity and contractures. Did I want to labor for something I suspected would be a letdown?<\/em>\n\nI envisioned bringing her to the prom. I thought about the dinner being served and how she would be the only one eating her food through a feeding tube. I pictured the dance floor with teens jumping and spinning. I thought about how often Alisha dislikes large crowds and hangs her head down to cope. Her severe hearing loss has always dictated how long we could linger in noisy places. I remembered a time when I worked harder to make our world \"normal.\" Why couldn\u2019t I recapture the fire I once had?<\/em>\n\nThen my thoughts drifted to Cory and Debbie. If AIisha didn\u2019t go to prom neither would Cory. I didn\u2019t think Alisha would enjoy the brash music and glitzy crowd, but I knew Cory would<\/strong>. He loved music and dancing and was known for standing up in front of his church, moving freely to the worship songs. He also loved eating. What would it mean to Debbie and Cory to attend prom?<\/em>\n\nWhat would be the outcome if I accepted any<\/strong> outcome and surrendered my expectations?<\/em>\n\nI called Debbie.\n\n\u201cDebbie, let\u2019s do this,\u201d I said half-heartedly.\n\nOnce I told friends Alisha was going to prom, prom dresses to borrow poured in. I wouldn\u2019t have to make the trip shopping to find one. There were about twenty beautiful dresses. One by one the dresses seemed to say \u201cGive this up\u201d because not one of them fit until we got to dress twenty. I tiredly gazed at Alisha\u2019s radiance. She looked into my eyes and busted out with a boisterous, unrefined laugh. \u201cThis moment\u201d I thought, is exactly why for years I\u2019ve spent tireless energy for Alisha to be typical. I smashed my lips into her grinning face and said, \u201cI love you girly!\u201d\n\nA few weeks before the date night would take place we had a big birthday bash at our neighborhood club house to celebrate Alisha turning eighteen. Although I loved seeing all of our family and friends, Alisha went into her own world at the party. It seemed too much for her. It seemed too much for me. I felt letdown as we pulled into our driveway after the party but the sight of giant pink flamingos on our lawn brightened my day. The flamingos held up words: Alisha, will you go to prom with me? Love Cory<\/em>\n\nThe surprise of finding a typical invitation to prom for our daughter temporarily made it seem like she could<\/strong> be a typical eighteen-year-old. Her birthday blast ended up being one more time where my exertion exceeded expectations but maybe<\/em> attending prom would be different.\n\nThe day arrived a couple weeks later. I primped Alisha with sparkles on her face and nails. I kept telling her she was a princess going to the ball. We left for our prom photo shoot at a nearby church.\n
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\nWhat Dreams Does Your Child Have?<\/h3>\n
<\/a>Stacey Laho lives in Michigan with her endlessly supportive husband, Jeff and their three children; Alisha, Hannah and Caleb. When not attending to the needs of her gang, she runs as far as her body will go, reads anything from the bible to politics, practices writing, enjoys growing things in her garden, and stopping to grab a Chai Tea and conversation with a friend. She has experienced the journey of loss through the death of her first born son, Kodey, when he died at the age of eleven from a virus that attacked his heart. She also lives with the ever-changing path of caring for her daughter, Alisha, who has been severely multiply impaired since birth when a virus (Cytomegalovirus<\/a>) attacked her brain in utero. Watching two of her children suffer from viruses has led her to explore her faith in her Savior Jesus and find His comfort. She desires to write to connect with others longing to make sense of the pain and find hope when dreams are busted and souls are battered. She writes to heal.<\/p>\n