{"id":1044,"date":"2010-09-15T02:07:46","date_gmt":"2010-09-15T02:07:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jolene-test.com.bishopcompsol.com\/?p=1044"},"modified":"2010-09-15T02:07:46","modified_gmt":"2010-09-15T02:07:46","slug":"internal-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/internal-debate\/","title":{"rendered":"Internal Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Last night, I sat at our monthly writers\u2019 group, barely able to stay awake. After two days of traveling to speaking engagements, exhaustion weighing on my shoulders and eyelids. Finally, too tired to follow the conversation and critiques, I excused myself and went home.<\/p>\n

A spirited internal debate kept me awake for the drive home. The government side proclaimed, \u201cTraveling was the right thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

The opposition sliced that argument to bits. \u201cThe trip was a waste of time. Monday night\u2019s engagement was poorly attended.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly because of bad weather,\u201d the government countered.<\/p>\n

The opposition ignored the outbreak and continued. \u201cAnd Tuesday at the lunch meeting, all the women were over the age of 60. Not even the right audience for you book. For effective marketing, you should focus only on potential readers. Stop wasting your time.\u201d<\/p>\n

I steered the car up our driveway and declared the opposition the winner. My efforts over the last two days had resulted in a fog of exhaustion, nothing more. What was I doing, frittering away precious days like this?<\/p>\n

A good night\u2019s sleep didn\u2019t improve my outlook. Discouragement dogged my steps as I began my morning walk. So did the faces of two women who\u2019d introduced themselves after I spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for telling your stories,\u201d one said. \u201cI lost my husband earlier this year. And today\u2019s been a bad day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long were you married?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201c62 years.\u201d Tears filled her eyes. \u201cI hoped to make it through the meeting without crying.\u201d She squeezed my hand and hurried away.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the first time I\u2019ve been here since my husband died two months ago,\u201d the other woman confided.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long were you married?\u201d I asked again.<\/p>\n

\u201c67 years. And I\u2019m not complaining,\u201d she added with a smile. \u201cI\u2019m not worried about where he is. Over and over he said he knew where he was going.\u201d Tears wet her smile. \u201cBut he didn\u2019t tell me how lonely it would be without him.\u201d<\/p>\n

I blinked away tears and looked around, orienting myself before walking any farther. Ah, the soybean field. Then I did a double take. The plants were gone, the field harvested. The vines and lovely purple flowers twining up the bean stalks and captured by my camera a few days earlier<\/a> were no more. To think I had almost walked past them on Monday. If I hadn\u2019t retraced my steps, the picture would have been lost.<\/p>\n

My eyes spied a puddle of purple in the bean stubble. I pulled out my camera, and in the viewfinder saw the faces of two women. Perhaps, I thought as the camera focused, the opposition hasn\u2019t won the debate. Perhaps the trip was not a waste of time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night, I sat at our monthly writers\u2019 group, barely able to stay awake. After two days of traveling to speaking engagements, exhaustion weighing on my shoulders and eyelids. Finally, too tired to follow the conversation and critiques, I excused myself and went home. A spirited internal debate kept me awake for the drive home. 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