12 Things Special Needs Parents Need to Do<\/h3>\n
My 18-year-old daughter, Brielle, has moderate cerebral palsy. If you\u2019re a special needs mom like me, I\u2019ve probably been where you are. There are things I wish I knew to do along the way.<\/p>\n
#1: Grieve<\/h4>\n
Cry, scream, get violent (safely), and get over it. If you need help to get through a dark period, talk to family, friends, or seek professional help.<\/p>\n
#2: Collect Information<\/h4>\n
Do your research. Talk to doctors, family, friends, and strangers. Some will offer insight and advice, often unsolicited. They may not always be right, but listen anyway. Write everything down so it helps you think, remember, and separate out your feelings.<\/p>\n
#3: Gather your Tribe<\/h4>\n
Ask family and friends to come by your side. Some may scare away, but most will be eager to be there for you. Cultivate friendships for your child as well. Your child needs friends and you need to know your child has friends.<\/p>\n
#4: Love On Your Family<\/h4>\n
They need your love and you need to love them. Make your husband and your marriage a priority. Be a team and give attention generously. Pay attention to your other children, let them have their own identity, and love on them independently from any other chaos.<\/p>\n
#5: Take Care of You<\/h4>\n
Attend to your body, mind, and spirit. Ditch the bad habits. Rest when you can. Always keep some energy in reserves. Keep your mind active and alert. Believe in something bigger than you are.<\/p>\n
#6: Attend to Your Finances and Legal Matters<\/h4>\n
Spend money wisely. You may be providing for your child\u2019s needs for their entire lifetime. Your child\u2019s ability to eventually receive government funding may be compromised if your child has any money in their name. Invest in life and disability insurance. Write a will and create a special needs trust.<\/p>\n
#7: Be an Advocate<\/h4>\n
Gather information. Formulate a solution or plan. Be assertive. Make it happen. This might mean you become a bit of a watchdog, rattle a few cages, or make some compromises. Pick your battles carefully.<\/p>\n
#8: Find Activities for Your Child<\/h4>\n
They provide social opportunities, learning experiences, and therapeutic benefits. They will also give you an opportunity to interact with other special needs parents and recognize your own joys and blessings. Find a hobby just for yourself as well.<\/p>\n
#9: Do Not Baby Your Child<\/h4>\n
The more you baby your child and encourage interests below their age level, the less your child will grow. You might want to keep doing things for your child to ease their burdens. Don\u2019t. Give your child chores and keep adding responsibilities so they learn life skills.<\/p>\n
#10: Plan Ahead<\/h4>\n
Have a written plan for your child\u2019s daily care, plans for the future, and anything someone else might need to know to take your place. At least three months before your child\u2019s 18th birthday, start the guardianship process and apply for disability income. Plan for your child\u2019s future 25 and 50 years from now, including living arrangements, routine, job, volunteer work, and activities. Start getting those things lined up now.<\/p>\n
#11: Keep a Positive Spirit<\/h4>\n
Things are going to get better. There will also be seasons when things are much worse. Both are transient. Don\u2019t sweat the small stuff. There will be messy, frustrating days. Appreciate the small successes. You\u2019re gonna screw things up. Learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up, and try again.<\/p>\n
#12: Find Your Purpose<\/h4>\n
Figure it out, even if it seems like something small. Part of your purpose is surely about paying it forward. Find someone who is where you were and be the sort of friend you wish you had at that point in your parenting journey.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What Do You Think Special Needs Parents Need to Do?<\/h3>\n
What do you think of Kerith’s list? Which items on the list are you going to work on? What would you add to the list? Leave a comment and then check out the links below to connect with Kerith at her website and beyond!<\/p>\n
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/kerith-stull-port1-1.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.10.5″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Kerith Stull earned a Masters Degree in communication and worked in marketing before becoming a stay-at-home mother when her children were little. She has been married to her high school sweetheart for the last 24 years and is a recent semi-empty-nester since her 20-year-old daughter moved out to go to college. Kerith blogs about special needs parenting issues at Brielle and Me: Our Journey with CMV and CP<\/a>\u00a0with her uniquely positive perspective. You can also find her on Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, and Pinterest<\/a>. She recently published a book, Brielle and Me: Our Journey with Cytomegalovirus and Cerebral Palsy<\/em><\/a>, about her experiences with their 18-year-old special needs daughter and their family\u2019s journey of hope, determination, love, and faith.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Special needs parents are busy people, but guest blogger Kerith Stull says there are 12 things they need to do for the good of their families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10253,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>\n
Related Posts<\/h1>\n
![\"Special](\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/12-Things-Special-Needs-Parents-Need-to-Do.jpg\")
<\/a>\n\nToday's guest blogger Kerith Stull is mom to a daughter with special needs. So she knows special needs parents have plenty to do. Still,\u00a0 she thinks there certain things special needs parents need to do, no matter how busy they are. Here's an even dozen items that need to be on every special needs parent's to do list.<\/em>\n12 Things Special Needs Parents Need to Do<\/h3>\nMy 18-year-old daughter, Brielle, has moderate cerebral palsy. If you\u2019re a special needs mom like me, I\u2019ve probably been where you are. There are things I wish I knew to do along the way.\n
#1: Grieve<\/h4>\nCry, scream, get violent (safely), and get over it. If you need help to get through a dark period, talk to family, friends, or seek professional help.\n
#2: Collect Information<\/h4>\nDo your research. Talk to doctors, family, friends, and strangers. Some will offer insight and advice, often unsolicited. They may not always be right, but listen anyway. Write everything down so it helps you think, remember, and separate out your feelings.\n
#3: Gather your Tribe<\/h4>\nAsk family and friends to come by your side. Some may scare away, but most will be eager to be there for you. Cultivate friendships for your child as well. Your child needs friends and you need to know your child has friends.\n
#4: Love On Your Family<\/h4>\nThey need your love and you need to love them. Make your husband and your marriage a priority. Be a team and give attention generously. Pay attention to your other children, let them have their own identity, and love on them independently from any other chaos.\n
#5: Take Care of You<\/h4>\nAttend to your body, mind, and spirit. Ditch the bad habits. Rest when you can. Always keep some energy in reserves. Keep your mind active and alert. Believe in something bigger than you are.\n
#6: Attend to Your Finances and Legal Matters<\/h4>\nSpend money wisely. You may be providing for your child\u2019s needs for their entire lifetime. Your child\u2019s ability to eventually receive government funding may be compromised if your child has any money in their name. Invest in life and disability insurance. Write a will and create a special needs trust.\n
#7: Be an Advocate<\/h4>\nGather information. Formulate a solution or plan. Be assertive. Make it happen. This might mean you become a bit of a watchdog, rattle a few cages, or make some compromises. Pick your battles carefully.\n
#8: Find Activities for Your Child<\/h4>\nThey provide social opportunities, learning experiences, and therapeutic benefits. They will also give you an opportunity to interact with other special needs parents and recognize your own joys and blessings. Find a hobby just for yourself as well.\n
#9: Do Not Baby Your Child<\/h4>\nThe more you baby your child and encourage interests below their age level, the less your child will grow. You might want to keep doing things for your child, to ease their burdens. Don\u2019t. Give your child chores and keep adding responsibilities so they learn life skills.\n
#10: Plan Ahead<\/h4>\nHave a written plan for your child\u2019s daily care, plans for the future, and anything someone else might need to know to take your place. At least three months before your child\u2019s 18th birthday, start the guardianship process and apply for disability income. Plan for your child\u2019s future 25 and 50 years from now, including living arrangements, routine, job, volunteer work, and activities. Start getting those things lined up now.\n
#11: Keep a Positive Spirit<\/h4>\nThings are going to get better. There will also be seasons when things are much worse. Both are transient. Don\u2019t sweat the small stuff. There will be messy, frustrating days. Appreciate the small successes. You\u2019re gonna screw things up. Learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up, and try again.\n
#12: Find Your Purpose<\/h4>\nFigure it out, even if it seems like something small. Part of your purpose is surely about paying it forward. Find someone who is where you were and be the sort of friend you wish you had at that point in your parenting journey.\n\nWant more detailed advice specific to your child\u2019s age?<\/strong>\n
\n \t
<\/h3>\n
What Do You Think Special Needs Parents Need to Do?<\/h3>\nWhat do you think of Kerith's list? Which items on the list are you going to work on? What would you add to the list? Leave a comment and then check out the links below to connect with Kerith at her website and beyond!\n\n
![\"kerith](\"http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/kerith-stull-port1-150x150.jpg\")
<\/a>Kerith Stull earned a Master\u2019s Degree in communication and worked in marketing before becoming a stay-at-home mother when her children were little. She has been married to her high school sweetheart for the last 24 years and is a recent semi-empty-nester since her 20-year-old daughter moved out to go to college. Kerith blogs about special needs parenting issues at brielleandme.net<\/a> with her uniquely positive perspective. You can also find her on Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, Pinterest<\/a>, and Google+<\/a>. She recently published a book, Brielle and Me: Our Journey with Cytomegalovirus and Cerebral Palsy<\/em><\/a>, about her experiences with their 18-year-old special needs daughter and their family\u2019s journey of hope, determination, love, and faith.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3560,3559,3561],"tags":[3866,3856,3867,3868],"class_list":["post-10252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-different-dream","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-brielle-and-me","tag-cerebral-palsy","tag-cytomegalovirus","tag-kerith-stull"],"yoast_head":"\n