{"id":10050,"date":"2014-05-07T05:00:59","date_gmt":"2014-05-07T10:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/f06.70c.myftpupload.com\/?p=10050"},"modified":"2014-05-07T05:00:59","modified_gmt":"2014-05-07T10:00:59","slug":"housework-special-needs-lower-expectations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenephilo.com\/staging\/housework-special-needs-lower-expectations\/","title":{"rendered":"Housework + Special Needs = Lower Expectations"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”||||||||” title_text_color=”#42313A” title_font_size=”40px” meta_font_size=”14px” background_color=”#B4DBC0″ custom_padding=”50px||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ specialty=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ specialty_columns=”3″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ _dynamic_attributes=”src” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.10.5″ hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]

\u00a0Photo Credit: varandah at www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/span><\/p>\n

Guest blogger Kimberly Drew recently nursed her family through a bout of stomach flu. She’s here to explain what she learned about maintaining realistic expectations while caring for sick kids with special needs and managing housework.<\/em><\/p>\n

Housework + Special Needs = Lower Expectations<\/h3>\n

There isn\u2019t anything fun about having sick child. We have recently endured two rounds of the stomach bug in our house. All five of us got it in varying degrees. Gross! Our daughter Abbey cannot communicate the need to throw up, or get to the bathroom, or do anything to care for herself. It\u2019s so upsetting and frustrating and messy. It\u2019s times like these when everything else goes to the back burner as you care for your child. The dishes, the phone calls, e-mails, and laundry just start piling up and you don\u2019t even care.<\/p>\n

You are in survival mode.<\/p>\n

You have to make sure that your child has what they need. When the immediate crisis subsides, you try to get things back in order. I don\u2019t know about you, but for me, it takes about two weeks to recover from one week like that. I wish I could say I\u2019m one of those people who jumps right in and tackles the whole house. I will do the immediate disinfecting that needs to happen and then kind of close doors and pretend the mess isn\u2019t there. After washing all the sheets and towels, I wave a magic wand and the rest of the pile is suddenly invisible. It\u2019s so convenient to just shut the door to the basement and ignore the pile. Email and phone calls are sort of the same. Finally, in a moment of exasperation, I will put on my favorite CD and work like a mad woman until everything is caught up.<\/p>\n

The chaos is under control\u2026for now.<\/p>\n

What does any of that have to do with parenting a child with special needs? Everything. The reality is you just can\u2019t do it all. Because every day of your life is this kind of assessment of what must be done now<\/em> and what can wait. If life assigned heads of triage, parents of kids with special needs would get the job. Assigning things to their level of importance is part of the daily grind for most parents, but parents of children with special needs know it all too well. Health and well-being get admitted immediately, and laundry gets a bed in the hallway. Accepting that some things will take a back seat to the care of your child is hard for Type A personalities. I tell people that I\u2019m a Type A stuck in a B- life. In a rough week I hover at D.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true.<\/p>\n

Over the years I\u2019ve been forced to let go of things that used to drive me crazy. Sometimes you need to clean and cook, and sometimes you need to give your children cereal for dinner and put them to bed early so that you can watch TV. It\u2019s okay not to have it all together. The sooner you can release the expectations you have on yourself, the sooner you will relax. It won\u2019t be this way forever. In a week, or a few days, you\u2019ll feel something inside nagging at you. You\u2019ll find Lady Antebellum on your iPod and get out the Windex and paper towels. But if you\u2019re not there today, it\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

Take it one day at a time.<\/p>\n

Have You Lowered Expectations?<\/h3>\n

Have you learned to relax your expectations about housework? What have you been forced to let go? What life circumstances taught you to do it? Leave a comment in the box.<\/p>\n

Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#b4dbc0″ custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blurb title=”@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9hdXRob3IiLCJzZXR0aW5ncyI6eyJiZWZvcmUiOiJCeSAiLCJhZnRlciI6IiIsIm5hbWVfZm9ybWF0IjoiZGlzcGxheV9uYW1lIiwibGluayI6Im9uIiwibGlua19kZXN0aW5hdGlvbiI6ImF1dGhvcl9hcmNoaXZlIn19@” image=”http:\/\/differentdream.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Kimberly-Drew.jpg” icon_placement=”left” image_max_width=”100px” content_max_width=”800px” _builder_version=”4.10.5″ _dynamic_attributes=”title” header_font=”Rubik|500|||||||” header_text_color=”#44465f” header_font_size=”14px” header_line_height=”32px” body_font=”Rubik||||||||” body_text_color=”rgba(0,6,69,0.6)” body_link_text_color=”#ffffff” hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”font-weight: 400;” border_radii_image=”on|100px|100px|100px|100px” border_color_all_image=”#ffffff” box_shadow_style_image=”preset1″ box_shadow_vertical_image=”20px” box_shadow_blur_image=”40px” box_shadow_color_image=”rgba(68,70,95,0.27)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” title_text=”Kimberly Drew” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Kimberly grew up and went to college in the small town of Upland, IN. She graduated from Taylor University with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002. While at TU, she married her college sweetheart and so began their adventure! Ryan and Kimberly have four amazing kids on earth (Abigail, Jayden, Ellie, and Cooper), and a baby boy waiting for them in heaven. Their daughter Abigail (Abbey) has multiple disabilities including cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, hearing loss, microcephaly, and oral dysphagia. She is the inspiration behind Kimberly\u2019s desire to write. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, Kimberly has been serving alongside her husband in full time youth ministry for almost fourteen years. She enjoys working with the senior high girls, scrapbooking, reading, and music. You can visit Kimberly at her website,\u00a0<\/span>Promises and Perspective<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column_inner saved_specialty_column_type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#EBDCB2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_sidebar _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#42313A” background_color_gradient_end=”#EBDCB2″ background_color_gradient_direction=”159deg” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all=”3px” border_color_all=”#1c1259″ saved_tabs=”all” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”25px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ module_class=”horizontal_optin_column_1″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_align=”right” header_text_color=”#45107a” header_3_font=”Dancing Script|700|||||||” header_3_text_align=”center” header_3_text_color=”#B4DBC0″ header_3_font_size=”45px” custom_margin=”10px||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]

Subscribe for Updates from Jolene<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.3.4″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_signup mailchimp_list=”JolenePhilo|89f719a52b” layout=”bottom_top” first_name_fullwidth=”off” last_name_field=”off” email_fullwidth=”off” module_class=”custom_emailoptin” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ form_field_focus_background_color=”#42313A” background_enable_color=”off” custom_button=”on” button_text_size=”16px” button_text_color=”#42313A” button_bg_color=”#B4DBC0″ button_border_width=”2px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_font=”|||on|||||” button_use_icon=”off” button_custom_margin=”5px||||false|false” button_custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” border_width_all_fields=”2px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_signup][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_font=”EB Garamond|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#B6452C” header_font_size=”50px” header_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ global_colors_info=”{}”]

Related Posts<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”current” show_more=”on” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ header_text_color=”#42313A” meta_font=”||on||||||” read_more_font=”|||on|||||” read_more_text_color=”#B6452C” read_more_font_size=”12px” pagination_text_color=”#B6452C” pagination_font_size=”20px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest blogger Kimberly Drew explains what she learned about maintaining realistic expectations while nursing kids with special needs and managing housework.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10051,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"[caption id=\"attachment_10051\" align=\"aligncenter\" width=\"350\"]\"Guest<\/a> Photo Credit: varandah at www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/a>[\/caption]\n\nGuest blogger Kimberly Drew recently nursed her family through a bout of stomach flu. She's here to explain what she learned about maintaining realistic expectations while caring for sick kids with special needs and managing housework.<\/em>\n

Housework + Special Needs = Lower Expectations<\/h3>\nThere isn\u2019t anything fun about having sick child. We have recently endured two rounds of the stomach bug in our house. All five of us got it in varying degrees. Gross! Our daughter Abbey cannot communicate the need to throw up, or get to the bathroom, or do anything to care for herself. It\u2019s so upsetting, and frustrating, and messy. It\u2019s times like these when everything else goes to the back burner as you care for your child. The dishes, the phone calls, e-mails, and laundry just start piling up and you don\u2019t even care.\n\nYou are in survival mode.\n\nYou have to make sure that your child has what they need. When the immediate crisis subsides, you try to get things back in order. I don\u2019t know about you, but for me, it takes about two weeks to recover from one week like that. I wish I could say I\u2019m one of those people who jumps right in and tackles the whole house. I will do the immediate disinfecting that needs to happen and then kind of close doors and pretend the mess isn\u2019t there. After washing all the sheets and towels, I wave a magic wand and the rest of the pile is suddenly invisible. It\u2019s so convenient to just shut the door to the basement and ignore the pile. Email and phone calls are sort of the same. Finally, in a moment of exasperation, I will put on my favorite CD and work like a mad woman until everything is caught up.\n\nThe chaos is under control\u2026for now.\n\nWhat does any of that have to do with parenting a child with special needs? Everything. The reality is you just can\u2019t do it all. Because every day of your life is this kind of assessment of what must be done now<\/em> and what can wait. If life assigned heads of triage, parents of kids with special needs would get the job. Assigning things to their level of importance is part of the daily grind for most parents, but parents of children with special needs know it all too well. Health and well being get admitted immediately, and laundry gets a bed in the hallway. Accepting that some things will take a back seat to the care of your child is hard for Type A personalities. I tell people that I\u2019m a Type A stuck in a B- life. In a rough week I hover at D.\n\nIt\u2019s true.\n\nOver the years I\u2019ve been forced to let go of things that used to drive me crazy. Sometimes you need to clean and cook, and sometimes you need to give your children cereal for dinner and put them to bed early so that you can watch TV. It\u2019s okay not to have it all together. The sooner you can release the expectations you have on yourself, the sooner you will relax. It won\u2019t be this way forever. In a week, or a few days, you\u2019ll feel something inside nagging at you. You\u2019ll find Lady Antebellum on your iPod and get out the Windex and paper towels. But if you\u2019re not there today, it\u2019s okay.\n\nTake it one day at a time.\n

Have You Lowered Expectations?<\/h3>\nHave you learned to relax your expectations about housework? What have you been forced to let go? What life circumstances taught you to do it? Leave a comment in the box.\n\nDo you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop up box and the second at the bottom of this page.<\/em>","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[3559,3574,3561],"tags":[3847,3705,2332,3791,2462],"class_list":["post-10050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-different-dream","category-self-care-and-stress","category-special-needs-parenting","tag-expectations","tag-guest-blogger","tag-housework","tag-kimberly-drew","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nHousework + Special Needs = Lower Expectations - Jolene Philo Staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Guest blogger Kimberly Drew explains what she learned about maintaining realistic expectations while nursing kids with special needs and managing housework.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Housework + Special Needs = Lower Expectations - 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