The Lessons I Learned while Raising a Child with EA/TEF
The lessons I learned while raising a child with EA/TEF have been many and varied. That’s to be expected since our son was born in 1982 with esophageal atresia (EA) and a tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF), two conditions that left him unable to swallow and required immediate surgery.
Many of the lessons came about as a result of the surgeries and invasive procedures he endured between birth and age 5. Other lessons came later as he became more independent in adolescence and adulthood. I encourage you to use these ten lessons as a springboard for considering what you’ve learned as well.
- I’m not in control, but God is and I can trust him. When the doctor diagnosed our son’s condition, I instantly realized God was in control and I wasn’t. Accepting that truth and trusting God with our baby’s life—or death—took about eight months. When I accepted this truth, raging anxiety subsided so I could be the mother our son needed.
- Our child was a gift from God. He belongs to God, who gave him to us to steward for however long he lived. Realizing this truth allowed us to rejoice each day he was with us, to delight in him as he came into himself instead of molding him into what we wanted for him. I had to relearn that lesson often, especially when as an adolescent and young adult his decisions were not always wise or in line with my faith.
- Write it all down. Journal about your feelings, about where you’ve seen God show up, and whatever else you want to record. You should also compile a written document containing your child’s health history and your observations about their individual EA/TEF journey. Make a paper copy to update as needed. Because your child has no explicit memory of when surgeries took place or the reason for them, present a paper copy to keep in a safe place when they turn age eighteen. Who knows when they may need it.
Do you like what you see at DifferentDream.com? You can receive more great content by subscribing to the quarterly Different Dream newsletter and signing up for the daily RSS feed delivered to your email inbox. You can sign up for the first in the pop-up box and the second at the bottom of this page.
Road Image by jodeng from Pixabay; Leaves Image by Sabine Kroschel from Pixabay
By jphilo
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. Sharing Love Abundantly with Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dig!, the fourth book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2024.
Subscribe for Updates from Jolene
Related Posts
A Grandmother’s Prayers for a Grandchild with Special Needs
Grandparents can play an influential role in the lives of grandchildren as this story about a grandmother’s prayers for grandchild with special needs shows.
7 Inclusive Halloween Posts for Kids with Special Needs and Disabilities
Halloween is almost here. To help prepare for the holiday, check out these 7 posts about how to create an inclusive Halloween for kids with special needs.
4 Tricks to Make Halloween a Treat for Your Child with Special Needs
To make Halloween a treat for your child with special needs, implement some of these ideas from guest blogger Trish Schaeffer.




0 Comments