Gravel Road’s Gene Wilder memorial screening of Young Frankenstein was a great success this weekend. The movie was as funny in 2016 as it was in 1974, thanks to these top ten quotes, at least in my humble opinion.
10. Inspector Kemp: Need a hand?
Dr. Frankenstein: No, I have one. Thanks.
9. Inga: Dear, what is it exactly that you do do?
8. Dr. Frankenstein: Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm… with very few exceptions… is not a human being.
7. Dr. Frankenstein: Perhaps I can help you with that hump?
Igor: What hump?
6. Almost Everyone in the Cast at Some Time in the Movie: …Frau Blucher.
5. Igor: Wait, Master, it may be dangerous…you go first.
4. Dr. Frankenstein: What knockers!
Inga: Thank you, Doctor.
3. Igor: Walk this way.
2. Elizabeth and Inga: (when in the throes of passion) Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!
1. Igor: It could be worse.
Dr. Frankenstein: How?
Igor: It could be raining. (Insert downpour here.)
What’s your favorite Young Frankenstein quote? Leave a comment.
The Man of Steel and I went a little wild and crazy celebrating Labor Day, 2016. Not only did we visit the health food store and then order our favorite drinks at our favorite coffee shop, but we also took an early morning walk the High Trestle Trail. Here are 10 reasons for central Iowans to consider a September walk on the trail. For those of you who live far, far from the most beautiful spot in the world, many of the reasons apply to a walk in the woods anywhere.
10. Walkers who have horse phobias have no reason to be paranoid on the High Trestle Bridge.
9. This is a proper Iowa trail paved with smooth cement, and benches are strategically placed along the way for those who need to rest now and then.
8. Signs along the way let you know how many of the optimum-for-health daily 10,000 steps you have walked.
7. Wildflowers along the way will put you in a good mood.
6. Someone created the coolest bike racks ever along the path, too.
5. Fall colors are beginning to peek through with the enticing promise of spectacular autumn foliage.
4. If you stay alert, you might see late summer fawns with their mommies.
3. The sumac, oh, the sumac.
2. The view of the Des Moines River from the bridge is breathtaking.
1. The High Trestle Bridge is a beautiful work of art.
Where do you like to walk in the fall? Leave a comment.
My spring and summer gallivanting ended a month ago, and so far, staying put is all I want to do. Here are ten reasons there’s no place like home.
10. The people at here speak my language. Not just English. But midwestern English. As in talk about sweet corn, State Fair, heat, humidity, sleeping weather, and knowing how many miles you’ve driven by the number of gravel roads passed.
9. When something is misplaced, I know it’s somewhere in the house rather than in another state, another country, or snuggled up next to the dirty underwear in my suitcase.
8. It’s easier to stay organized at home than on the road because…
7. …everything is in its proper place. Except when #9 occurs, which is far too often.
6. Iowa in August and September is so beautiful, I can hardly stand the thought of being gone for even a minute of it.
5. Sunday worship with believers in other parts of the world is a blessing, but Sunday worship with our local church family is a blessing and a comfort.
4. Cooking in our kitchen means being able to eat everything on the table, including dessert, without asking if it’s dairy-free.
3. At home, when #7 rather than #9 is in effect, there’s time to think deeply and do what I like to do best–get lost in writing.
2. Home is where I can Facetime often with two of my grandkids, play with the other one whenever we want, and share the day with our daughter and son-in-law.
1. For 39 years, whenever I’ve had to travel without the Man of Steel, he’s the one who makes the house feel like home when I return.
What makes you say, “There’s no place like home?” Leave a comment.
Our son, his friend, the Man of Steel and I spent an afternoon at the Iowa State Fair. While there, I compiled these top ten tips for fair goers silly enough to schedule their visits when the temperature hovers around 90° and the humidity is nearly 100%.
10. A ride on the tram lifts passengers high enough to enjoy whatever slight breeze is blowing. However, passengers who are afraid of heights will get hot and bothered enough to cancel out the benefits of a cooling breeze.
9. Stroll through the Varied Industries Building for two reasons: First, the air conditioning is heavenly. Secondly, you can visit the De Vries Woodcrafting booth and admire their beautiful furniture while testing their chairs and surreptitiously rest your tired feet.
8. Women are well-advised to wear shorts, a skirt, or sundress when the temperature is near 90° and humidity is high. Capris will be too hot.
7. You know the people that use big sticks to direct cars to the $5 parking spots on their lawns? I think they do that to keep the air moving. So put a collapsible yard stick in your fanny pack so you can cool down whenever you want. And bonk annoying people if need be. It’s a win-win!
6. It is perfectly acceptable to join the children cooling off at the spray fountain. Just don’t knock them out of the way or strip down to your underwear. Even if your bra and panties are more generously than the uniforms worn by the women’s beach volleyball teams at the Olympics, you could get arrested for indecent exposure.
5. If you watch the breeding swine auction in the Hall of Champions, stand directly under the giant ceiling fan. If possible stand next to someone with swine breeding expertise so you have some idea of what’s going on.
4. If you go to the meat goat judging, repeat #5. But stand next to someone with meat goat expertise because pigs and goats are totally different breeds of cats.
3. While walking by the butter cow, imagine standing beside Bessie in her 40° cooler just in case the power of suggestion actually works.
2. Stop by the horse expo arena between shows when you are hot and tired. It’s free, it’s air conditioned, the seats are comfy, and you can watch a tractor go round and round and round watering and preparing the dirt. It’s mesmerizing.
1. When you’re drenched with sweat, a raspberry-cider slushy from the Agriculture Building tastes divine. It also turns your tongue bright red. So you can put in your Dracula teeth and look highly authentic.
Bonus Tip: No matter how hot it is, you must stand in the heat and take pictures for your young grandchildren obsessed with large machinery. Because that’s what’s grandparents do.
Every day is an educational adventure with a sixteen-month-old in the house. Here’s what he’s been teaching us lately.
10. Clothespins are fascinating, so a wise grammy learn to check for them in her shoes before going for a morning walk.
9. Grammy’s walking shoes are also fascinating, so when the shoes aren’t on the rug by the door, they are most likely in the empty spot on a low kitchen shelf. With a clothespin cleverly hidden inside one shoe.
8. There’s nothing better than a rousing game of “I’m gonna get you.”
7. There’s nothing worse than being told “No!” Even and especially when it’s for your own good.
6. Baby gates are an invitation to start climbing.
5. Being allowed in Grammy and Papoo’s bedroom to feel the soft, blue blanket on their bed is enough to make a grown 16-month-old quiver with delight.
4. All food tastes better after it’s been thrown on the floor and sniffed by the dog.
3. Making loud noises and screeching is oodles of fun for a baby. But when a grown up makes the same sounds, it’s very scary.
2. The days when Papoo uses big machines right outside the living room window are very good days.
1. Receiving a big hug and a slobbery kiss from a sixteen-month-old is a precious gift from God.
What lessons have you learned from a wee one lately? Leave a message.
An old house, even one that’s been kept in excellent repair, is a series of fix it projects. The summer project at this old house involves correcting some basement drainage issues. Step one in the project was to dig a trench to expose the basement walls around most of the house, which has resulted in these top ten effects.
10. The exterminator had dollar signs in his eyes when he gave a quote for termite barrier protection.
9. This project, like all home repairs, will cost more than expected. See #10 to learn why.
8. Someone sweeps up tracked in dirt several times a day. That someone is not the same person who tracks in the dirt.
7. The heavy duty cycle on the washing machine is seeing heavy use.
6. We prefer to think of the dirt piles around the house as creative landscaping.
5. A trench where flowerbeds used to live means much less summer weeding.
4. From the waist up, the Man of Steel is now very tan. Yes, that includes the top of his head.
3. The basement feels drier already.
2. The adults in the house stay alert when the 16-month-old is outdoors because large holes and towering dirt piles are kid magnets.
1. A video of Papoo (aka: Man of Steel) operating an excavator elevates an ordinary grandpa to superhero status in the eyes of a 3 1/2 year old, machine and tool-obsessed grandson.
Are you doing home repairs this summer? What unexpected effects have you observed? leave a comment.