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Harlan and Dorothy

Mother’s Day was a very special time in my childhood home. Every year we celebrated Mom’s extraordinary efforts to provide for our family. But when Mother’s Day fell on May 11, as it did on the day of his birth in 1929, we celebrated Dad’s birthday, too. Since his birthday again fell on Mother’s Day this year–and because I’m madly editing page proofs for The Caregiver’s Notebook and don’t have time to blog much–today’s top 10 list gleans from two posts from the past: What My Mamma Taught Me and Top Ten Things About My Dad.

10.  Never allowed discussions about politics to become cut throat. Dad’s most barbed political statement referred to his right arm, severely weakened by multiple sclerosis: It’s my Republican arm. Not good for much of anything.

9. The library is an excellent place to hang out. Mom checked out a lot of books and taught her kids to love to read. And go to the library where books can be checked out for FREE!

8.  Birthday and Christmas presents matter. Dad picked Mom’s birthday and Christmas gifts carefully. He looked through the newspaper ads and phoned the store to quiz the clerk for a long time about whatever gift he wanted to buy. Once he made his decision, he arranged to have the gift delivered when Mom was at work.

7.  Every woman should get an education so she can support herself and her family. Mom went back to school to finish her 4 year degree after Dad was diagnosed with MS in the late 1950s. She went on for her Master’s Degree in the mid 1960s. Our lives would have been very different had she not pursued those degrees.

6.  People matter more than winning does. Dad loved to play cards with friends, but he didn’t play to win. He played to talk.

5.  A strong family will be a constant support throughout life. As a teenager, Mom babysat many of her nieces and nephews. Those nieces and nephews open their homes to her whenever we travel back for funerals or reunions. Their love and respect for her is a touching tribute to her influence on their lives.

4.  Proximity matters. Having Dad close by in his wheelchair always made me feel safe.

3.  Teaching Is more than a job. Mom’s passion for her work demonstrated that teaching is not just a way to support your family. It’s a way to inspire a new generation and help them realize their own potential.

2.  No matter what happens, find a reason to laugh. Dad’s constant sense of humor and thousand watt smile taught that lesson time and time again.

1.  True love never fails. Mom cared for Dad at home from 1959 when he was diagnosed with MS until 1983 when he required nursing home care. Once he moved to the nursing home, Mom visited him daily, unless she was visiting her kids and grandkids, from 1983 until his death in 1997. Every time she walked through the door, his face brightened and his eyes shone.

Every now and then someone asks why I drive 45 miles to visit Mom Tuesday after Tuesday. The answer is simple. It’s what my parents taught me.

Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7–8

What lessons did your parents teach you? Leave a comment.