by jphilo | Dec 31, 2012 | Daily Life
2012 is ending with a bang at our house. Not because we’ve been invited to a rockin’ New Year’ Eve party. But because our long lost, prodigal tweezers have been found.
Some of you may recall the sad fairy tale this grim mother wrote in May. The fairy tale that bemoaned the loss of the excellent pair of tweezers we had owned for many, many years. The fairy tale about our inability to replace them with a pair of comparable calibar. For those of you who don’t remember the tale or never read it, now you understand the unibrow I sported all summer and fall.
But not anymore.
Because the man of steel found the tweezers in his toiletry travel bag. The discovery was so exciting, we greeted our prodigal tweezers with open arms. “So you don’t care that the tweezers were lost for six months in my toiletry bag?” Hiram asked.
“Not one bit,”I replied. “Let’s kill the fatted calf and have a feast! Let’s dress the tweezers in a fine robe and slip a gold ring on its finger.”
“Tweezers don’t have fingers,” the man of steel reminded me.
With a perky little shake of my head, I answered, “That’s okay, because I’ve got ten of them.” Then I used my fingers to pick up those tweezers and start plucking.
How can 2013 possibly be any better than this?
by jphilo | May 25, 2012 | Daily Life
Once upon a time there was a woman named Bushybrows. Because she had bushy eyebrows. They were bushy because on a trip to visit her daughter who lives in a far away land, Bushybrows lost the magical, scissor-type, slant end tweezers she’d used to pluck her brows for years and years.
When Bushybrows returned from the journey and looked in the mirror, she was desperate for a new pair of tweezers, just like her old ones. But alas, at the store she discovered they no longer made the magical tweezers she loved. So she purchased a pair of slant-end tweezers – not the cheapest and not the most expensive – and skipped merrily home.
But when she tried the tweezers, they turned out to be Papa Tweezers – TOO BIG for her bushy, yet dainty brow.
So Bushybrows went to another store and bought a smaller, cheaper pair of tweezers and skipped merrily home.
But when she got home and tried the tweezers, they turned out to be Mama Tweezers.
TOO WIMPY for her wiry, yet dainty brows.
So Bushybrows went to a third store and after looking at all the tweezers, purchased a pair she hoped would be JUST RIGHT, and skipped home merrily to give them a try.
Alas they turned out to be only so-so.
That is to say, they do the job.
Sort of.
If Bushybrows concentrates really hard and doesn’t mind constantly pinching her skin.
But the process isn’t magical, not like the old tweezers were.
Bushybrow’s thinking they don’t make things like they used to.
And maybe it’s time for the uni-brow to make a come back.
How’s that for an unhappy ending to this Grim Mother’s bear of a tale?
