by jphilo | Feb 5, 2016 | Current Events
Only one Gravel Road post cuts the mustard for the Fantastic Friday after the Iowa Caucuses. Here it is, as timely and true as it was eight years ago when it made it’s debut appearance on this blog.
Iowa Who?
I feel like a high school homecoming queen the day after graduation. Washed up, dated and insignificant. It’s like I don’t matter anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I was never a homecoming queen. But today, the morning after the Iowa caucuses, I have a great deal of empathy for all of them.
For the last couple of months, the citizens of our state were popular. Our phones rang nonstop. Everyone wanted our opinions on everything. Famous people called us daily – former presidents, senators, congressmen, family and friends of the wannabe movers and shakers of our country. Our mailboxes were stuffed with glossy flyers and Christmas cards from total strangers. Radio talk show hosts begged us to call in. Our state, not Idaho or Ohio but IOWA, was mentioned on the national news every night for weeks. Even out here on our icy gravel road, a few potential suitors braved tromped through the snow and rang my doorbell. We were important. We really mattered. The nation worshipped at the feet of little old Iowa.
Today I’ve gotten one phone call. It was my Minnesota sister. “Iowa who?” she kept saying. “Iowa who? I hear New Hampshire is the place to be.” She gets so miffed when I get all the attention. But she made a valid point.
Though my state’s present tumble from the national throne has thrown me into the depths of despair, I’m reaching out to the people of New Hampshire. They need to know that popularity is fleeting in our political system. It’s pretty heady stuff for innocent country folk. It can kinda turn heads, all the attention from important people with their fancy hair, great dental work and tailored suits with matching shoes.
Don’t fall for it, New Hampshire. No matter how pretty the candidates are, don’t dispense your political favors to every John, Mike or Hilary who sashays through the state. Come January 9, those sweet-talking, love ‘em and leave ‘em politicians will drop you like hot potatoes and move on.
I don’t want you to get hurt like we Iowans did. It’s not worth it. Stay home. Turn off the TV. Throw away your mail. Bar the door. Save yourselves for the general election. It’s the only way you’ll be able to live with yourselves tomorrow.
Three last words: New Hampshire who?
by jphilo | Feb 2, 2016 | Top Ten Tuesday
The first month of January is now history, and with its passing I am painfully aware of what I did not accomplish. Here’s a look at my top ten epic fails so far in 2016.
10. I overbaked some chocolate chip bars for a weekend church function. Thankfully, we were out of town the weekend they were served, so I didn’t have to watch people discover how dry they were.
9. The historical paper photographs that have been sitting on a chair for 2 1/2 years waiting to be organized remain untouched. The same can be said for my collection of digital photographs, too.
8. I keep meaning to up my lunch game and eat three square meals a day. But it never happens. Instead, I graze from about 11 to 1 almost every day.
7. Too late, I discovered that if a sweet, cuddly granddaughter’s first birthday falls shortly after the New Year, waiting until January to buy a card means the sweet, cuddly granddaughter will receive her card a day late.
6. The weekend shopping trip to update my winter wardrobe did not happen. So I have to keep my by my sides at all times so people don’t see the holes in my sweater underarms.
5. My grandson and I have not yet found the right flavor of Koolaid to make bright, purple play dough. Our best effort yielded a dingy color we call “gray-ple” that’s nothing to write home about.
4. My sister and I were not discovered by a Hollywood mogul during our beach walk in southern California. Perhaps because the surfers were more interesting.
3. I did not get nominated for an Academy Award. For the 59th year in a row. It’s enough to make a person quit trying.
2. My Cindy Crawford look-alike make over was a bust.
1. Neither the Democrats or Republicans asked me to join their last debates before the Iowa caucuses. So I was unable to throw a hissy fit and withdraw because the moderator was a mean girl. It’s not fair!
Want to share your epic fails thus far in 2016? The comment box is waiting for you.
by jphilo | Dec 29, 2011 | Three Thoughts for Thursday
The kids are here, and my computer time is limited. Even so, here are three quick thoughts for Thursday.
- This winter is the first snowless one since 2007. Native Iowans over the age of 30 are okay with this, but the newscasters here to cover the caucuses are not. Shooting footage in front of a tired, brown landscape in shirtsleeves doesn’t have the same impact as wearing a parka in front of an eight foot snow drift.
- Unfortunately, a bag of after Christmas, half-price miniature Reeces peanut butter cups does not have half the calories of regularly priced candy.
- Giving www.jolenephilo.com a facelift took much longer than expected, but I’m pleased with the results. Though maybe we stretched the skin too tightly over the cheekbones. What do you think?
