Guest blogger Trish Shaeffer is joining the Different Dream gang raises a questions parents of kids with special needs prefer to ignore. How do we stay supermom strong while parenting our children? She answers the question from hard earned experience.

How to Stay Supermom Strong while Parenting Kids with Special Needs

Injury and illness in parents of special needs children is a topic that we don’t talk about much. But what happens when we parents suffer an injury or illness? How do we stay Supermom strong?

As parents, it is only natural that our children get put first and our lives revolve around them. But when parents get sick or suffer an injury—and sooner or later life happens to all of us—an illness or injury happens. Then, it takes all our Supermom energy to push through and care of our children and family. So we place ourselves on the back burner. And yet a strained back or another injury could be a game changer in our ability to take care of our kids.

For most people, recovering from illness and injury means rest and a few missed day of work. Parents of special needs children don’t always have those options.

Who will take care of our children when we’re sick?
Who will take care of us?
Who will do the heavy lifting?

The prospect of a simple injury can leave a lot of unanswered questions and may bring on guilt. A lot of guilt. And worry. I live with lupus and the consequences old sports injuries and am constantly haunted by what ifs:

What if I get sick?
What if my injuries are acting up?
What if I don’t rest? How will I pay for it later?

A doctor once told me to rest and do no heavy lifting for two weeks. I laughed. Who has that option or time?

Not me.

My kid is the one in the wheelchair who is with me because I don’t have a sitter, the kid I lugged into the ER because I suspect I broke a bone. Please, Sir, hold my Supermom cape while I sit here in pain as you cast my arm and tell me to rest and get help.

Special needs parents always need help, but I don’t see anyone jumping in to give it. Yes, I have a husband, but he has to work. Unless someone writes us a check to cover his missed work, taking off not an option.

Any of this sound familiar?

I know I should take care of myself so I can stay Supermom strong for my child. But what to do? I’ve found that sometimes the only answer is to deal with what I can and forget the rest. Consent to the cast and master a one-handed approach to everything. And rest when your child is resting.

Here are a few other options.

• You could ask another family member to help you out here and there. For those who live far from extended family, ask a friend or neighbor. We hate to ask, but sometimes it’s necessary.
• Schedule physical therapy “double dates” to physical therapy for you and your child. This saves time and gives you a slight mental break for an hour. Physical therapy is no fun but you can try to make the best of it.
• If you can’t get hands-on help, join an online parenting group. Spend time talking (or venting) to a friend. While these aren’t perfect solutions, but talking can help you feel not so alone with your struggles.
• Try to find time to unwind each day. When your child goes to bed, have a glass of wine, take a hot bath, or read a book. Recharge your battery the best you can.

If you don’t take time for yourself when you’re healthy, you may be looking at a longer recovery or more doctors’ visits down the road when you get sick. Do the best you can. But don’t hesitate to hand your cape over to someone else until you are Supermom strong again.

You are Supermom, but even Supermom has her kryptonite.

How Do You Stay Supermom Strong?

What are your best tips for staying Supermom strong? Leave them in the comment box.

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