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Top Ten Items to Take on Your Next Plane Trip

Top Ten Items to Take on Your Next Plane Trip

Air travel

Plane trips from here to there and back again have lost their luster in the last few years. Maybe because airlines are cutting amenities right and left. Maybe because more of my travel is for business rather than for fun. Maybe because I’m getting older and crankier. But I’m hoping this list of the top ten things to take on a plane trip will put the glitter and shine back into my next up, up, and away adventure.

10.  A five day food supply. Airline snacks aren’t enough to keep Barbie and Ken alive, much less full-sized humans. So it’s best to take enough for the time in the air plus enough to keep me going for a few days in case of delays in the airport.

9.   A personal assistant. Take someone along to organize boarding passes and itineraries, know the whereabouts of my picture ID at all times, carry luggage, watch my carry-on bag while I use the bathroom, and keep me from acting like a crazy person when things don’t go according to plan. Not that I’ve ever acted like that before, but it’s always good to be prepared.

8.   Pilot speak translation program. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a little gizmo to plug in when the pilot’s voice comes over the intercom? Imagine being able to understand what he or she says?

7.   Odd Couple DVD. For reference purposes when my sinuses start acting up. That way I can practice and imitate Felix’s “Mmmah. mmmah” and then make everyone suffer with me.

6.    Spanx or a girdle. Because the seats on the airplane keep getting smaller and smaller. Plus I want to look my best for the full body scan at security.

5.   Airsick bags. Anybody else notice the absence of these essential items from the seat pocket? Ever since a friend of mine told how she became the recipient of the contents of her seatmate’s stomach, I pack my own bag, just in case.

4.   Drool catcher. I’m working on the prototype for this. A small, kidney-shaped bowl that can be suction-cupped below the lower lip. It could save a lot of embarrassment for messy nappers.

3.   Hidden camera. To record those who use items listed in #5 and #4.

2.   Hazmat Suit. In case I need to use the bathroom on the airplane.

1.   A sense of humor. Essential if you want to make new friends instead of alienating fellow travelers.

What’s on your list of top 10 things to take on a plane trip? Leave a comment!

Ice, Shirtsleeves, and Subway Doors in the Atlanta Airport

Ice, Shirtsleeves, and Subway Doors in the Atlanta Airport

After a long day of travel to points south, I’ve come to the following conclusions:

  • Nothing beats leaving your coat in the car when your nephew drops you off at the Minneapolis airport as the first flakes of an oncoming snowstorm fall around you.
  • When your seat is behind four midwestern, middle-aged women waaay pumped about flying to Florida in February, their enthusiasm is not contagious. Not to you or to the lone, long suffering, elderly man sitting in their row.
  • Traveling with your sister, brother-in-law and husband means you never have to freshen up alone, but there’s always someone to watch the luggage while you do.
  • If airplane seats get much smaller, average-sized Americans will need to double book to fit in them.
  • Yes, I am the woman from the Atlanta airport who plunged through the subway doors as they were closing. But only for the good of our entire party. What would they have done if we’d gotten separated? Who would have gotten them lost then?
  • Savannah, Georgia is lovely, even when you arrive after dark. Especially when you don’t need a jacket.
  • After a day of travel, I’m a blithering idiot. Time to sign off. Good night, y’all.

 

 

 

 

A Series of Almost Disasters

A Series of Almost Disasters

The first twenty-four hours of our vacation has been a series of almost disasters. The first arose during the car ride from home to Minneapolis. Hiram pulled off the interstate to get some anti-drowsiness munchies only to discover that the on ramp going north was closed, and the detour backtracked six miles. By the time we got back to where we’d stopped for snacks, the munchies were almost gone, and Hiram was sleepy again. But Anne saved the day, reading aloud to him from a highly entertaining Terry Pratchett novel. Disaster One successfully averted.

The second almost disaster occurred when our 9:45 PM flight from Minneapolis to Spokane was delayed because of mechanical problems. But Northwest/Delta Airlines brought in another plane, and we took off 1 1/2 hours late. In the meantime, we napped in the waiting area, and Hiram cashed our fifteen dollars worth of NWA meal vouchers for a new batch of anti-drowsiness munchies we would need once we arrived in Spokane. Disaster Two successfully averted.

The next almost disaster involved the trip from Spokane to Shadow Valley Family Camp in Clark Fork, Idaho. The drive began at 1:30 AM and ended at 3:15 AM. Anne slept in the backseat while Hiram drove, and I kept him awake with a steady stream of chatter and munchies. At one point, Hiram crossed the center line, not because he was falling asleep but because he wasn’t used to the rental car yet. The minute he hit the rumble strip, Anne sat bolt upright, whapped him hard on the shoulder, and shouted “Dad!” With dramatic intensity, she proclaimed “I plan to stay alive,” and fell asleep again. Disaster Three successfully averted.

The final disaster occurred this morning. I was still sleeping when Hiram went down to breakfast with the fam. He grabbed our camera and snapped a few pix to show how the hearty, flexible breakfast crew made pancakes after discovering the electricity was off. The pancakes on the grill were particularly tasty, and Disaster Four was successfully averted.

Do you know what the best thing is? We have eleven more days of family camp and travel ahead. If the past twenty-four hours is any indication, this vacation’s almost disaster capacity could be limitless. And since almost disasters are the stuff memories are made of, this vacation could trump all others. Which means we’ll get our money’s worth from this vacation and getting my money’s worth from anything is what I’m all about. Life doesn’t  get much better than this!

Waiting for the Ocean View

Waiting for the Ocean View

Okay, go ahead and laugh. We’re not in California and won’t get there until this evening since our morning flight to Minneapolis was delayed (mandatory rest for crew) so we missed our connecting flight. Our new flight doesn’t leave until later this afternoon, so Hiram and I are enjoying a day in the Omaha airport. Guess we can check that one off our Bucket Lists.

My sister, who drove to the Minneapolis airport through the snow, made her connection just fine. And to think that last night we were congratulating ourselves for picking the cheaper Omaha flight and missing the Minnesota snowstorm we would have driven through to fly out with her. She’s a really good sister. She didn’t even say “I told you so.”

But to wet my ocean whistle, I found this photo I took a few years ago. My friend, Helen, and I had a great afternoon, walking on the Atlantic beach and wading through the warm August ocean. After visiting Helen for a few days, I went to a writers’ conference near Boston. At that conference I hatched the idea for A Different Dream for My Child with the woman who advocated for my book and Discovery House Publishers and is now my editor.

This morning, we chatted with our linemates as we inched toward the ticket counter. We talked about our jobs and my book came up. One man asked how he could buy the book. He and his wife have one child, a five-year-old son with severe autism. I directed him to my website and gave him my business card, wishing the book was already published. Suddenly, the line moved. He went one way, we went another.

Afterwards I realized I didn’t know his name. But his son’s a beautiful, brown-eyed boy named Conner. And Conner’s dad said what every parent who needs the book says when they hear its title.  “That’s exactly what it is,” he said. “A Different Dream, not a bad one.”

His attitude put one less day at the beach in perspective. It’s a different dream, not a bad one.