by jphilo | Apr 25, 2016 | Daily Life
A week ago last Saturday, Katie Wetherbee and I were at the Accessibility Summit at McLean Bible Church near Washington, DC. In the morning we put on our fancy duds and facilitated a workshop called How to Become a Special Needs Ministry Master Chef, based on our book Every Child Welcome. After that we hung out at our book table.
Which turned out to be the party table in our part of the Exhibition Hall.
I can’t speak for Katie, but for the first time in my life I knew what it was like to sit at the popular table in the high school lunch room. People visited our table all day long. They signed up for the email newsletter, asked to take pictures with us, and bought books. Lots and lots of books. So many that several titles sold out, and I only had to lug home 5 of the 60+ books I lugged to DC.
It was pretty heady stuff.
Then I came home on Monday, put on yoga pants and a sweatshirt, and spent the rest of the week doing every day stuff. Unpacked and started the laundry. Cleaned the kitchen. Caught a cold. Got a haircut. Paid the bills. Grocery shopped. Started a diet. Cooked low fat meals.
Then another Saturday arrived.
There wasn’t a party table in sight. Just Creeping Charlie in the rhubarb to pull and quack grass in the flower beds to hoe. Cilantro to sow. House plants to move to the sun porch. Grass to mow. Three pans of buttermilk brownies to bake and Rice Krispie Treats to make for Sunday’s fundraiser for my mission trip to Latvia. Just me and the Man of Steel working side by side. He didn’t ask for a picture with me. But I didn’t ask for a picture with him either.
Such a come down from the Accessibility Summit.
To be honest, this author’s life is pretty mundane. Lots and lots of weeks of solitary writing, waiting for those rare moments when the right words combine to say exactly what you want. Doing housework alone and yard work with the Man of Steel. Dotted with those unexpected weekend stints at the party table. But I’m in good company.
After all, Erma Bombeck did all her own housework, too.
by jphilo | Apr 8, 2016 | Out and About
Next week, I’m flying to McLean Bible Church’s Accessibility Summit. That upcoming event combined with mystery novel that’s my current work in progress makes this post from 2011 quite timely five years later. Before you read, you should know that the protagonist of the new series wears sensible shoes and underwear, contains her cellulite, and has absolutely no accent. At least not where I come from.
It Worked for Mrs. Pollifax
I am in Tyson’s Corner, Virginia (just outside Washington DC) for the Accessibility Summit at McLean Bible Church. To be accurate, the Summit begins later today, and I’m hanging out in the hotel business area because a new heater and AC unit is being installed in my room. My theory is that the CIA has hidden cameras in all hotel rooms in these parts, so they decoded my mutterings when the noisy heater woke me repeatedly in the night. Who says our government isn’t responsive?
The longer I sit here and people watch, the more glaringly apparent it becomes that I’m not in Kansas (yes, I live in Iowa, but please work with me) any more. Even though I read plenty of David Baldacci thrillers, Lisa Scottoline legal mysteries, Mrs. Pollifax CIA romps, and other fiction set on the East Coast to prepare me for this culture shock, it didn’t work. This midwestern gal is jaw-droppingly agog at the accents (this morning’s mix included British, Australian, Jersey, New York, and perhaps German), not to mention the fashion show that began in the Chicago airport yesterday and shows no sign of ending any time soon.
The most noticeable fashion statement thus far is the knee high, calf-hugging boots with three inch heels. Sported mostly by younger women who don’t yet realize “Bunion Builders” is the CIA code name for these boots, they look – well – really expensive, uncomfortable, and positively anti-midwestern.
The second most noticeable statement has been skin tight leggings, sometimes worn with bunion builders, sometimes under baggy, flowing shirts, and sometimes with short shirts and presumably thong underwear since no one had unsightly pantie lines. Apparently, fat jiggles are not considered unsightly in this neck of the woods. This is also anti-midwestern. In that part of the country, there are more fat jiggles per capita, but their owners tend to keep them well hidden.
I’m coping with the culture shock as well as can be expected. So far, I’ve resisted the infrequent urges to buy a pair of bunion builders, squeeze into leggings, or purchase thong underwear. Quite a feat of self-control for this midwestern, former school teacher who holds the door open for strangers, wears flat shoes and khaki pants, and knows better than to hug a Lutheran.
Just to be on the safe side, I’m making a list of anyone who looks like they work for the CIA, starting with the guys installing the heater in my hotel room. Once I get back home, I’ll mail it to the agency with an instructive note about how to make their spies blend in a little better, possibly by hiring midwestern women with sensible shoes, contained cellulite, sensible underwear, and absolutely no accent.
It worked for Mrs. Pollifax.
It could work for me.
Ya, shure, you betcha!
by jphilo | Dec 29, 2015 | Top Ten Tuesday
2015 was a wonderful year that included the births of 2 new grandbabies, the release of 2 new books, meeting more people in the special needs ministry community, and the completion of my mystery novel. (No need to mention chance encounters with kitchen knives and the consequences thereof.) I am looking forward to 2016 with as much anticipation as last year. Here are 10 things I’m excited about.
10. Fresh fruits and veggies from our CSA. Fresh strawberries and sugar snap peas in June. Sweet corn and tomatoes from July through September. Melons in August. Are you drooling yet?
9. New seasons of Sherlock, Doc Martin, and Downton Abbey. I’m even putting together a new outfit, all black, to wear during the final episode of DA.
8. Receiving an email from my agent saying my novel, See Jane Run!, has been accepted by a publisher. I believe in positive thinking.
7. Spending a week in Idaho at Shadow Valley family camp next summer. (See photo above.) Hopefully with the Man of Steel this year.
6. Co-presenting a workshop about special needs inclusion with Katie Wetherbee at next spring’s Accessibility Summit in McLean, Virginia.
5. Visiting my sister and her husband in Phoenix from January 16-23. This one’s doubly sweet with 8 inches of snow on the ground.
4. A year’s worth of Wednesdays with Dorothy playing Rummikub, Uno, and waiting for her sense of humor to peek through.
3. Going to Latvia to participate in a special needs family camp. Yes, you read that right. Latvia. At the end of June and beginning of July. More on that later.
2. Watching our kids navigate the world as adults and marveling at how well they do it.
1. Hugging and smooching the grandkids every chance I get. They’re all at that completely kissable age and love to cuddle. This stage doesn’t last forever, but should hold firm for 2016. It’s gonna be great.
What are you looking forward to in 2016? Leave a comment.
by jphilo | May 23, 2012 | Recipes
This dairy allergy thing is changing my life in a whole bunch of ways. Last month it made ordering from the Cheesecake Factory’s menu an adventure when I went out to supper with friends after the Accessibility Summit. It led to interesting dinner conversation that evening when someone asked, “How do you milk almonds?” followed by “How do you milk rice?” As the above photo proves, we mastered rice milking technique and caught it on camera.
During a recent visit to our daughter and new son’s house, she demonstrated the finer points of making rice milk – for those who haven’t mastered modern milking techniques – so this dairy allergy is changing the way I cook. Today’s recipe and pictures make it possible for you to milk rice, too!
Rice Milk
1/4 cup brown rice
1 quart water
(or 1 cup brown rice and 1 gallon water if you want lots of rice milk)
Combine rice and water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then turn down and simmer for a long, long time (several hours), adding water to replace what boils off, until rice is mushy like this:
Allow mixture to cool for 15 – 30 minutes. Spoon rice into a colander and process:
In necessary add water, running it through a colander until you have almost a quart of milk. (If you place a large measuring cup under the colander to catch the draining liquid, this step is much easier.)
Next, strain the liquid through unbleached muslin or cheesecloth:
Wash your hands and squeeze as much goop out as possible:
(This step is much easier if you use cheesecloth rather than muslin.)
If necessary, add enough water to make a quart.
Use rice milk as a substitute for milk when cooking. To replace buttermilk, add a tablespoon of vinegar per cup and let it sit for 20 minutes.
Rice milk is a good substitute for milk, though it doesn’t taste quite like good old cow’s milk. Anybody out there have other suggestions for milk replacement in cooking? Leave a comment!
by jphilo | Apr 24, 2012 | Out and About, Top Ten Tuesday
Over the weekend, I attended the McLean Bible Church’s Accessibility Summit. The trip was a short one, rendered even shorter by a 6 hour delay in the Southwest flight out of Omaha. The Omaha airport is small, and Terminal B, where we were trapped because our boarding passes had already been collected and the staff wasn’t forthcoming with new ones, is even smaller. Determined to polish my perky, Pollyanna image, I spent the 6 hour delay refining the following top ten lessons list:
10. The delay was the perfect opportunity to guess which men and women, during their childhoods, knocked fourth grade classmates out of the way in order to get to the front of the line.
9. The second thing to do when a flight delay is announced (the first thing is to knock people out of the way so you can be first in line at the customer service desk) is to find an electrical outlet, plug in your phone, laptop, or iPad, and camp out.
8. This spring’s top color combo for infant girl clothing is brown and pink.
7. Much as I love my kids, I am thankful we no longer need to travel with young children.
6. Janet Evanovich books on an iPad make the delay much funnier.
5. When the only food vendor in the terminal is Godfather’s Pizza, people with a dairy allergies go hungry.
4. Customer service people are trained to be courteous and patient, but not particularly forthcoming with information. On the flip side, riding herd on fourth graders is easier than dealing with irate airline passengers facing a 6 hour delay.
3. 6 hours is long enough for the most technologically-challenged person to fall in love with an iPad 3.
2. 6 hours is not long enough for a person to master the art of spreading the sanitary cover on the toilet and perching before the automatic switch flushes it away.
1. 6 hour delays are to be expected when you accidentally pack your deodorant in your checked luggage instead of your carry on bag.
Now it’s your turn. What lessons have you learned during flight delays? Leave a comment.
